In writing I'm conscious of sounding insane. I'm conscious of having what I'm saying being ignored as untrustworthy because I sound insane in my verbalisations. So partly, I'm writing persuasively. I wish for the reader to believe me. Partly this is pointless, because it's experiential - either you are under psychic attack that you are convinced is real, or not - there won't be too many people reading this out of curiosity, I suppose, they will mostly be of my experiential orientation. And them I'd like to reassure that they are sane (those of my experiential groove!)
This all sounds very contorted...
Unless you know a few people in the New Age group who are professional energy healers for example, or you came into the New Age gradually and read about it, if psychic attack gets you, you are bound to be very much lost for a sane explanation. Thus it was for me for a long time. I wonder where I'll end up intellectually now.
It's pretty weird; it involves:
Telepathy
Spiritual Unity
Metaphysics (explaining why it's happening in the first place)
Soul Life and the Afterlife - a spiritual outlook
Energetic understandings (about subtle energy)
Psychicness
- and all this you have to find out for yourself from scratch (unless you are lucky enough to discover this blog!!)
One of the biggest milestones for me was realising that I was psychic, that all of this had something to do with me being psychic. It's a drama that's playing out entirely on the psychic level; you can't measure it with a ruler.
So I'm psychic, I'm close to the spirit world, albeit partly in a negative way (they bully me). But I also hear and receive in dreams useful information - this closeness, healed, will be of value to others, in a healing or teaching capacity, and that's a great consolation.
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
Anatomy Of A Schizophrenic-Type Disorder
I once thought that my troubles emerged exclusively from mortal people. Then I progressed to realising it was from spirits too.
Now I see:
There are spirits around me, whose behaviour is changeable (though generally more benign);
There is much ill-will affecting me from spirit-people in the astral (who seem to be spiritually like 'career criminals', rebels against the Light)
There is some ill-will from humans affecting me (namely a psychic ex-girlfriend, and from others I have wronged in the past) [PS This is a minor, minor portion of the general problem, though still real!]
That I have caused this to happen through stirring up unhappiness, and attracted it through being very fearful (I believe the profound fear I experienced in a cannabis-induced schizophrenic breakdown attracted dark spirits to me) - since the universe operated through the law of attraction and the law of cause and effect, amongst others.
I once heard a celestial voice compliment me on my powers of intellect, calling me an impressive 'psychic scientist'. I analyse my situation, and I will find a way to heal it. On one level this means changing my energetic vibration so that I attract positive spirits and interactions; this is my will. I read recently that we attract people and situations to us based on our vibration (and our vibration is derived from our inner world of thoughts and feelings). Obviously, in my really dark days of delusional jealousy with the ex-girlfriend, then encounters with what amounts to the essence of evil under schizophrenic hallucinations, I must have got stuck in a rut energetically and attracted all bad to me. - I say all bad, but it could have been worse; perhaps I got stuck with all the bad that I could attract in my days of fearful hallucinations and relatively bad karma. It's not the utmost hell, though, to put it in perspective, it sometimes is so bad that I don't like being alive.
So, I'm a psychic scientist, and I will find a cure. I will find the panacea that changes my situation and puts me on an ecstatic path of fulfilment, for the good of all.
Now I see:
There are spirits around me, whose behaviour is changeable (though generally more benign);
There is much ill-will affecting me from spirit-people in the astral (who seem to be spiritually like 'career criminals', rebels against the Light)
There is some ill-will from humans affecting me (namely a psychic ex-girlfriend, and from others I have wronged in the past) [PS This is a minor, minor portion of the general problem, though still real!]
That I have caused this to happen through stirring up unhappiness, and attracted it through being very fearful (I believe the profound fear I experienced in a cannabis-induced schizophrenic breakdown attracted dark spirits to me) - since the universe operated through the law of attraction and the law of cause and effect, amongst others.
I once heard a celestial voice compliment me on my powers of intellect, calling me an impressive 'psychic scientist'. I analyse my situation, and I will find a way to heal it. On one level this means changing my energetic vibration so that I attract positive spirits and interactions; this is my will. I read recently that we attract people and situations to us based on our vibration (and our vibration is derived from our inner world of thoughts and feelings). Obviously, in my really dark days of delusional jealousy with the ex-girlfriend, then encounters with what amounts to the essence of evil under schizophrenic hallucinations, I must have got stuck in a rut energetically and attracted all bad to me. - I say all bad, but it could have been worse; perhaps I got stuck with all the bad that I could attract in my days of fearful hallucinations and relatively bad karma. It's not the utmost hell, though, to put it in perspective, it sometimes is so bad that I don't like being alive.
So, I'm a psychic scientist, and I will find a cure. I will find the panacea that changes my situation and puts me on an ecstatic path of fulfilment, for the good of all.
Portals And Power Struggles
In my experience, psychic attack is very much a power struggle. There are the spirits trying to conquer me, or the ex-girlfriend who seeks to hurt me to get my attention as a way of validating that she is lovable.
(Usually psychic attack is known to occur between mortals, not received from the spirit world; it is quite rare for psychic attack to occur, but less so I suppose for sensitive people, and is usually fairly unintentional rather than a result of black magic rites, they say. Occasionally I have heard the "ex" ill-wishing (we were very close, and both 'sensitive'); I used to think my entire problem was from mortals, I now realise that the attack is almost entirely from the spirit world).)
Spiritually, for me there is disturbance to my auric functioning (attested to by a energy healer), to my crown chakra, the organism's energetic portal. There is therefore a fight over my connection to spirit.
There is also disturbance to my portal to the world, in that I am sabotaged by shame imposed on me from outside, so I'm less likely to engage with others and achieve in the world.
All this amounts to power issues. For those in the know, I was told by my healer-friend that there were also signs of interference with my solar plexus chakra, the personal power centre.
At some stage, I hope, I will discover the key to taking back my power and governing these 'portals' myself. Presumably it will involve being more 'grounded' (connected to the Earth, stable) and less in the worlds of spirit, so that my power is more focused within me and not loosely spreading out into the spiritual. So perhaps I win this power struggle by endeavouring to look outside myself and engage with the world. No mean feat for someone with no job and few friends, but you have to start from somewhere!
Also, this means being stronger than my attackers, all several of them, or having enough power against them to have the advantage, which presumably means being in charge of my life and my emotions enough to counter these forces with stability, even whilst they are attacking me.
The ideal for me is for these power struggles to be dormant, to live in peace, and get on with my life. No one from above is really stepping in to stop it all at once, so I guess I can do it myself - put an end to these power struggles, and change my basic energetic vibration so that I am not troubled.
(Usually psychic attack is known to occur between mortals, not received from the spirit world; it is quite rare for psychic attack to occur, but less so I suppose for sensitive people, and is usually fairly unintentional rather than a result of black magic rites, they say. Occasionally I have heard the "ex" ill-wishing (we were very close, and both 'sensitive'); I used to think my entire problem was from mortals, I now realise that the attack is almost entirely from the spirit world).)
Spiritually, for me there is disturbance to my auric functioning (attested to by a energy healer), to my crown chakra, the organism's energetic portal. There is therefore a fight over my connection to spirit.
There is also disturbance to my portal to the world, in that I am sabotaged by shame imposed on me from outside, so I'm less likely to engage with others and achieve in the world.
All this amounts to power issues. For those in the know, I was told by my healer-friend that there were also signs of interference with my solar plexus chakra, the personal power centre.
At some stage, I hope, I will discover the key to taking back my power and governing these 'portals' myself. Presumably it will involve being more 'grounded' (connected to the Earth, stable) and less in the worlds of spirit, so that my power is more focused within me and not loosely spreading out into the spiritual. So perhaps I win this power struggle by endeavouring to look outside myself and engage with the world. No mean feat for someone with no job and few friends, but you have to start from somewhere!
Also, this means being stronger than my attackers, all several of them, or having enough power against them to have the advantage, which presumably means being in charge of my life and my emotions enough to counter these forces with stability, even whilst they are attacking me.
The ideal for me is for these power struggles to be dormant, to live in peace, and get on with my life. No one from above is really stepping in to stop it all at once, so I guess I can do it myself - put an end to these power struggles, and change my basic energetic vibration so that I am not troubled.
Stumbled Across A Great Online Article
I found this article online about psychic attack that corroborates what I'm going on about here.
The essence of my condition is suffering caused by psychic attack. That's how I see it. That's emphatically what seems real to me.
The writer of the article confirms how 'schizophrenics' may be found to suffer from astral harassment.
With me however, I don't perceive any help from invoking higher powers, nor from using crystals or flower essences (though I haven't given up on them). These are quite significant forces I deal with (but I know, it could be worse, it's not absolute hell for me).
I've been thinking about this today, thinking, Why am I attracting harmfulness and rough treatment? In a world governed by the Law of attraction, I must have given some cause for this.
When I got ill I was in a deep relationship that I broke off very suddenly, because it was causing me much stress. After that I had my schizophrenic breakdown and encounter with darkness on a hallucinatory basis, and was ever after under a cloud of negativity. The person I was deeply involved with was very psychic (for a non-professional), and I have often attributed to them that they held a grudge towards me.
I did a healing ceremony today, on my own, and this person came into my awareness so clearly that I could feel their energy, and the healing brought up the history between us, and the requirement that it should be released. This is a person I have heard, telepathically, cursing me. I think it likely that this entire condition has its seeds in that other person's motive of resentment towards me - but I started it, through leaving her in an impersonal way.
A very interesting thing, the attachment with her that my healing ceremony raised.
My current theory is that this person's intense resentment post break-up served as a contagion to attract to me astral persecution. I just read about something called live haunting, which can happen when there is a problematic attachment between two people in a love relationship after they break up.
This relationship has taught me a lot about being responsible with another's heart (and my own); I figure that the massive psychic attack saga I have been through has taught me a lot about handling other beings gently, and being merciful and gracious - simply through being ingrained by the opposite dynamic and opposing that.
I liked the validation of this article. Looking uponline, I was glad to see so many entries, and so many useful ones too.
There are many forms of self-defense, but in my opinion, you really have to find the right person to help you, just as the author of the article linked above suggests.
I've found a couple of people I'm pretty sure may be able to finish this all off for me, but haven't called as yet, principally through busyness... and my social phobia that makes me averse to using the phone with strangers.
So I hope one day none of us will be haunted anymore and we will all be able to get on with our lives in peace...
The essence of my condition is suffering caused by psychic attack. That's how I see it. That's emphatically what seems real to me.
The writer of the article confirms how 'schizophrenics' may be found to suffer from astral harassment.
With me however, I don't perceive any help from invoking higher powers, nor from using crystals or flower essences (though I haven't given up on them). These are quite significant forces I deal with (but I know, it could be worse, it's not absolute hell for me).
I've been thinking about this today, thinking, Why am I attracting harmfulness and rough treatment? In a world governed by the Law of attraction, I must have given some cause for this.
When I got ill I was in a deep relationship that I broke off very suddenly, because it was causing me much stress. After that I had my schizophrenic breakdown and encounter with darkness on a hallucinatory basis, and was ever after under a cloud of negativity. The person I was deeply involved with was very psychic (for a non-professional), and I have often attributed to them that they held a grudge towards me.
I did a healing ceremony today, on my own, and this person came into my awareness so clearly that I could feel their energy, and the healing brought up the history between us, and the requirement that it should be released. This is a person I have heard, telepathically, cursing me. I think it likely that this entire condition has its seeds in that other person's motive of resentment towards me - but I started it, through leaving her in an impersonal way.
A very interesting thing, the attachment with her that my healing ceremony raised.
My current theory is that this person's intense resentment post break-up served as a contagion to attract to me astral persecution. I just read about something called live haunting, which can happen when there is a problematic attachment between two people in a love relationship after they break up.
This relationship has taught me a lot about being responsible with another's heart (and my own); I figure that the massive psychic attack saga I have been through has taught me a lot about handling other beings gently, and being merciful and gracious - simply through being ingrained by the opposite dynamic and opposing that.
I liked the validation of this article. Looking up
There are many forms of self-defense, but in my opinion, you really have to find the right person to help you, just as the author of the article linked above suggests.
I've found a couple of people I'm pretty sure may be able to finish this all off for me, but haven't called as yet, principally through busyness... and my social phobia that makes me averse to using the phone with strangers.
So I hope one day none of us will be haunted anymore and we will all be able to get on with our lives in peace...
Saturday, 3 July 2010
Insight
I think that the body of science and thinking that might be called modern psychology, or Western psychology, or orhtodox psychology, could benefit by working with the spiritual traditions that are far older than it, for example Buddhism, which incoroporates an anceint practice of study of the mind. Comparatively such traditions could be seen to have more authority than modern psychology.
I have seen a book along these lines, a collaboration between the Dalai Lama and a Western psychologist. This can only be a good thing.
If insights can be gained from looking to spiritual traditions regarding normal psychology, I wonder how long it will be before science is taken to the spiritual worldviews regarding paranormal psychology, examining the transition where mind becomes spirit, and all the possible spiritual interactions that may follow. I've written on this blog before about how, roughly put, it's strange that rational people dismiss a lot of spiritual beliefs as superstition - for example amulets to ward off evil and curses, beliefs in interactions with deeply hostile spirits, and beliefs in ghosts and the possiblity of not transcending to Heaven on physical expiration. There is so much in these world traditions that could be considered evidence of the paranormal - and was wholly believed until quite recently.
But that's not everything, because spirituality does not just offer explanations of parapsychological ill health, it also offers solutions ( through the 'shamanic' ways, for example, or Christian exorcism).
Perhaps one day there will be a fuller and harmonious formal science of the mind that incorporates what is now known and practiced in religious traditions.
I have seen a book along these lines, a collaboration between the Dalai Lama and a Western psychologist. This can only be a good thing.
If insights can be gained from looking to spiritual traditions regarding normal psychology, I wonder how long it will be before science is taken to the spiritual worldviews regarding paranormal psychology, examining the transition where mind becomes spirit, and all the possible spiritual interactions that may follow. I've written on this blog before about how, roughly put, it's strange that rational people dismiss a lot of spiritual beliefs as superstition - for example amulets to ward off evil and curses, beliefs in interactions with deeply hostile spirits, and beliefs in ghosts and the possiblity of not transcending to Heaven on physical expiration. There is so much in these world traditions that could be considered evidence of the paranormal - and was wholly believed until quite recently.
But that's not everything, because spirituality does not just offer explanations of parapsychological ill health, it also offers solutions ( through the 'shamanic' ways, for example, or Christian exorcism).
Perhaps one day there will be a fuller and harmonious formal science of the mind that incorporates what is now known and practiced in religious traditions.
Terms
"Ghost-people" is more sensitve than "ghosts".
"Spirit-people" is more humanising than "spirits."
"Hostile spirits" is more prudent than "demons."
"Passed over" is more accurate than "dead."
My terminology is developing...
"Spirit-people" is more humanising than "spirits."
"Hostile spirits" is more prudent than "demons."
"Passed over" is more accurate than "dead."
My terminology is developing...
Telepathy
This is one that's going to get alarm bells going, too, telepathy - but I think it's far more common than most assume.
I realise that I get a lot of unidentified telepaths speaking in my mind every day.
Senders and receivers. Apparently we all fall into one of those two camps.
I must be a sender, because I get a lot of people hearing me. I get a lot of response to thoughts - flirty, funny, friendly or critical. Any of these can be intrusive - or not - but the critical ones will obviously be more likely to put a spanner in the works emotionally. Yes, being psychic can be fun, if you are 'alone', you can be laughing away because there's someone else there to share the joke!! Which, guess what, can look or sound crazy, and has embarrassed me, or nearly embarrassed me a number of times.
The amount of telepathy I get means that there must be a lot of telepathic people out there. I can sense, or figure out, that who I am hearing in my mind is mortal and not discarnate or celestial. You can just always tell. Celestial ones are loving, other spiritual ones are likely irritable or hostile, and earthly ones - I don't know, but I can tell that they're mortal.
Apparently everyone is telepathic. Apparently the telepathic centres are the meridians that run along the upper sides of the head.
Where thought goes, there energy follows is the famous saying. If you think of someone negatively, you will affect their mood - that's a telepathic effect.
It's hard to substantiate, but I think that I am so telepathic that I can cause others to awaken by being around them, and this is to do with the energy of intrusion that comes from hostile spirits. In public they can seek to shame me by causing telepathic connection with those I am around, whilst communicating a strong suggestion that I am unworthy. - That's painful, and sounds strange, but it's something that happens very often, and I think it contributes to my social phobia.
One person I was around for a while I later heard thinking "Am I mad?", as I had triggered an awakening in them; on another occasion I heard someone thinking the same thing, after spending a couple of hours in the same room with them and others during a turbulent inner conflict.
Again, I feel that last group of statements was a little weak in authority as testifying to something true and real (at the point where I was able to say that I had heard others thinking). This happens. It's the essence of telepathy!
When you hear the voices of celestial people, that's telepathy. When you hear the voices of ghost-people and hostile spirit-people in the etheric, that's telepathy.
I heard my brother thinking, not so long ago. He was going through a tough time, a personal crisis, and I heard him thinking "Who am I?" in an anguished way. I asked him about this later that night... and he confirmed it to me. This is quite a rare thing, a confirmed case of telepathy. That's a good thing to me personally, because I often feel a gap in authority when I'm telling him (and my mother) about my esoteric experiences of spiritual sensing - I suppose ever since I used to say irrational thing in the early stages of my schizophrenia; things like a confirmed instance of telepathy help my credibility with them.
They won't, for instance, believe that my once-deceased, passed-over, 'dead' father, now in Heaven, can be a pain in the back end quite often, in telling me what to do - that's not how spirits are supposed to act, they say. Maybe they aren't supposed to act that way, but they do! I get a sense of his presence, feel his irritation, and even get interference with what I am doing (most frequently a blocking of my creativity when I am playing the keyboard and he thinks I should be doing other things with my time). Quite satisfying that I now get to publicly get my own back and have a go at my dad in this post...
So, telepathy, very common among the population. There you go - and everyone's telepathic, that's how the universe works, just more or less noticeably.
I realise that I get a lot of unidentified telepaths speaking in my mind every day.
Senders and receivers. Apparently we all fall into one of those two camps.
I must be a sender, because I get a lot of people hearing me. I get a lot of response to thoughts - flirty, funny, friendly or critical. Any of these can be intrusive - or not - but the critical ones will obviously be more likely to put a spanner in the works emotionally. Yes, being psychic can be fun, if you are 'alone', you can be laughing away because there's someone else there to share the joke!! Which, guess what, can look or sound crazy, and has embarrassed me, or nearly embarrassed me a number of times.
The amount of telepathy I get means that there must be a lot of telepathic people out there. I can sense, or figure out, that who I am hearing in my mind is mortal and not discarnate or celestial. You can just always tell. Celestial ones are loving, other spiritual ones are likely irritable or hostile, and earthly ones - I don't know, but I can tell that they're mortal.
Apparently everyone is telepathic. Apparently the telepathic centres are the meridians that run along the upper sides of the head.
Where thought goes, there energy follows is the famous saying. If you think of someone negatively, you will affect their mood - that's a telepathic effect.
It's hard to substantiate, but I think that I am so telepathic that I can cause others to awaken by being around them, and this is to do with the energy of intrusion that comes from hostile spirits. In public they can seek to shame me by causing telepathic connection with those I am around, whilst communicating a strong suggestion that I am unworthy. - That's painful, and sounds strange, but it's something that happens very often, and I think it contributes to my social phobia.
One person I was around for a while I later heard thinking "Am I mad?", as I had triggered an awakening in them; on another occasion I heard someone thinking the same thing, after spending a couple of hours in the same room with them and others during a turbulent inner conflict.
Again, I feel that last group of statements was a little weak in authority as testifying to something true and real (at the point where I was able to say that I had heard others thinking). This happens. It's the essence of telepathy!
When you hear the voices of celestial people, that's telepathy. When you hear the voices of ghost-people and hostile spirit-people in the etheric, that's telepathy.
I heard my brother thinking, not so long ago. He was going through a tough time, a personal crisis, and I heard him thinking "Who am I?" in an anguished way. I asked him about this later that night... and he confirmed it to me. This is quite a rare thing, a confirmed case of telepathy. That's a good thing to me personally, because I often feel a gap in authority when I'm telling him (and my mother) about my esoteric experiences of spiritual sensing - I suppose ever since I used to say irrational thing in the early stages of my schizophrenia; things like a confirmed instance of telepathy help my credibility with them.
They won't, for instance, believe that my once-deceased, passed-over, 'dead' father, now in Heaven, can be a pain in the back end quite often, in telling me what to do - that's not how spirits are supposed to act, they say. Maybe they aren't supposed to act that way, but they do! I get a sense of his presence, feel his irritation, and even get interference with what I am doing (most frequently a blocking of my creativity when I am playing the keyboard and he thinks I should be doing other things with my time). Quite satisfying that I now get to publicly get my own back and have a go at my dad in this post...
So, telepathy, very common among the population. There you go - and everyone's telepathic, that's how the universe works, just more or less noticeably.
Friday, 2 July 2010
Ongoing Saga. An important post.
I have identified a couple of top flight healers in the UK, my country, who I hope can help me. Both the individuals I am thinking of seeing have connections to the Spirit Release Foundation (I thank God for the SRF!)
As a side note, I think that spirit release (a new name for exorcism) is a valuable thing, and it's something I 'd quite like to learn about and be involved in sometime in my life, because I feel for the discarnate people who wander about the Earth plane when they should be in the higher spiritual realms.
As I have written already, I am under frequent psychic attack. How else can I describe this? Mental intrusion, loss of spiritual power, harmful spiritual voyeurism, spiritual harassment. I know what Penelope must have felt like in the Odysseus, her home full of interlopers and her husband Odysseus away - for me it's like the soul part who is the master of its territory is away, and all manner of energy is playing around my awareness instead. The level of psychic battling can be horribly intense, or very wearying, and it all starts within moments of waking,and continues until I fall asleep - it's challenging. I have been wondering recently if it was always mean to be this way, if I had planned for this before incarnating, ie if this was predestined, supposed to happen. I actually prefer to think that it was not supposed to happen.
I read the other day "We have all played the victim and the villain in our cycling through Life-experience"; I have also read that calling ourselves victims takes away our power. Instead of thinking in terms of victim and villain, we are often encouraged by knowing souls to raise our awareness and think of others harming us as servants of our growth, and we can even express gratitude to them - obviously that's quite a high level of understanding, and good for you if you reach it, it must be a happy place when it comes naturally.
I have come to realise that friendly ghosts can really misbehave sometimes - one was calling me names the other day, so I have stopped thinking of him as a friend, but send love to him at a higher level; "friends are friendly", and he's not always that.
I am mediumistic (psychic) to such an extent that I can be influenced not just at a mental level but at a phsyical level as well; the on-off friendly discarnate person mentioned above can actually speak through me a little bit, his favourite word "Result!", said whenever there is some little success in my daily round. This is a benign-ish intrusion, but annoying ultimately, though he won't stop when asked. Maybe he needs to
do it to affirm his existence.
If I was more mediumistic I would be able to go into trance and 'channel' spirits, but it kind of leaks through, as I am at the moment. I often know my dad is near, because his laugh will come through me if there's something going on he finds funny.
There are two levels of disturbance, the local kind from discarnate people not ready to be in Heaven, and from spirits further away not local to the Earth plane. The local ones are mostly benign-ish, but the ones further away are fairly ruthlessly harmful, taking the opportunity to cut into my awareness and project powerful negativity. At preseent I avoid live performances, radio, TV, live music (even recorded), because it's like a magnet for this distant harmful disturbance.
There's a kind of permitted lawlessness in my world, whereby even these spiritual attacks on others are permitted by God and Heaven etc., and the negativity, let me assure you dear reader, is very strong, could not be stronger in its malevolence and will to cause distress. This can cause some despair, but then you have to think, "Well, there has to be some order here, even though I don't yet understand it; all must be well, still."
So what with intrusion, which is wearing, plus the erosion of well-being caused by insults and injuries by those spirits who are basically able to watch whatever goes through my mind... I get pretty well beaten, psychologically, experiencing suffering and duress and distraction from ordinary life ansd success.
But Oh! the alarm bell has just gone off...
The alarm that says "OK, I was with you for a while, but now you've lost me - there's no way this can be real." I felt that alarm go when I was writing how the spirits are able to survey my every thought and feeling. Actually it's what Heaven does all the time - they like to come and visit when we think of them, to be in the aura of our love for them and commune with us (emanating their own love presumably). All those who watch over us to guide us presumably also our inner world to take care of us. Same as God does. So how did this happen to me? Why am I like this?
There are people who are sensitive to the spiritual; there are those who are not sensitive to the spiritual (but may still believe and have an active 'spiritual life'). I was very rarely sensitive to the spiritual until I smoked cannabis. I believe this cannabis use caused a spiritual emergency, a sudden spiritual awakening that damage my aura. Instead of evolving a sensitivity to the spiritual at a natural pace, it happened all at once - and also at a time of great fear and inner turmoil (going through a schizophrenic breakdown). Yes, I say you can be schizophrenic and 'psychic'. And yes, I say that a negative condition of psychic, mediumistic awareness can imitate schizophrenic symptoms - that's what this blog and blogger attest to. Mine was a unique psychological make-up that permitted 1) a sensitizing to the spiritual with cannabis use (for which it is used in India by 'sadhus' and 2) a full schizophrenic breakdown and continuing delusions of grandeur and so on.
If I had gradually become more sensitive to the spiritual, I probably would not be writing this now, would not be troubled by the proximity and intrusions of ghosts, and would know nothing of the vast malevolence that haunts regions of the etheric realm. Mind you, and this I will mind too, because it is an important personal point, if I had not had a rapid awakening, I would not have passed-over (once-deceased) friends, I would not know God like I do and have a strong optimistic faith in the afterlife, I would not know about the spiritual guidance we all receive, I would never have had a vision of my guide, and I would not have educated myself in the esoteric as I have done (as much as anyone can in eight or nine years!) That's a long list, and it's one to be grateful for. I love my celestial friends; not only are they lots of fun, and supportive, but they are faithful, by my side every day. I have a small bagful of friendship with God, too, who as we all know can seem an elusive character, and this is something special. Spirituality brings happiness and strength too, powerful experiences.
As a side note, I think that spirit release (a new name for exorcism) is a valuable thing, and it's something I 'd quite like to learn about and be involved in sometime in my life, because I feel for the discarnate people who wander about the Earth plane when they should be in the higher spiritual realms.
As I have written already, I am under frequent psychic attack. How else can I describe this? Mental intrusion, loss of spiritual power, harmful spiritual voyeurism, spiritual harassment. I know what Penelope must have felt like in the Odysseus, her home full of interlopers and her husband Odysseus away - for me it's like the soul part who is the master of its territory is away, and all manner of energy is playing around my awareness instead. The level of psychic battling can be horribly intense, or very wearying, and it all starts within moments of waking,and continues until I fall asleep - it's challenging. I have been wondering recently if it was always mean to be this way, if I had planned for this before incarnating, ie if this was predestined, supposed to happen. I actually prefer to think that it was not supposed to happen.
I read the other day "We have all played the victim and the villain in our cycling through Life-experience"; I have also read that calling ourselves victims takes away our power. Instead of thinking in terms of victim and villain, we are often encouraged by knowing souls to raise our awareness and think of others harming us as servants of our growth, and we can even express gratitude to them - obviously that's quite a high level of understanding, and good for you if you reach it, it must be a happy place when it comes naturally.
I have come to realise that friendly ghosts can really misbehave sometimes - one was calling me names the other day, so I have stopped thinking of him as a friend, but send love to him at a higher level; "friends are friendly", and he's not always that.
I am mediumistic (psychic) to such an extent that I can be influenced not just at a mental level but at a phsyical level as well; the on-off friendly discarnate person mentioned above can actually speak through me a little bit, his favourite word "Result!", said whenever there is some little success in my daily round. This is a benign-ish intrusion, but annoying ultimately, though he won't stop when asked. Maybe he needs to
do it to affirm his existence.
If I was more mediumistic I would be able to go into trance and 'channel' spirits, but it kind of leaks through, as I am at the moment. I often know my dad is near, because his laugh will come through me if there's something going on he finds funny.
There are two levels of disturbance, the local kind from discarnate people not ready to be in Heaven, and from spirits further away not local to the Earth plane. The local ones are mostly benign-ish, but the ones further away are fairly ruthlessly harmful, taking the opportunity to cut into my awareness and project powerful negativity. At preseent I avoid live performances, radio, TV, live music (even recorded), because it's like a magnet for this distant harmful disturbance.
There's a kind of permitted lawlessness in my world, whereby even these spiritual attacks on others are permitted by God and Heaven etc., and the negativity, let me assure you dear reader, is very strong, could not be stronger in its malevolence and will to cause distress. This can cause some despair, but then you have to think, "Well, there has to be some order here, even though I don't yet understand it; all must be well, still."
So what with intrusion, which is wearing, plus the erosion of well-being caused by insults and injuries by those spirits who are basically able to watch whatever goes through my mind... I get pretty well beaten, psychologically, experiencing suffering and duress and distraction from ordinary life ansd success.
But Oh! the alarm bell has just gone off...
The alarm that says "OK, I was with you for a while, but now you've lost me - there's no way this can be real." I felt that alarm go when I was writing how the spirits are able to survey my every thought and feeling. Actually it's what Heaven does all the time - they like to come and visit when we think of them, to be in the aura of our love for them and commune with us (emanating their own love presumably). All those who watch over us to guide us presumably also our inner world to take care of us. Same as God does. So how did this happen to me? Why am I like this?
There are people who are sensitive to the spiritual; there are those who are not sensitive to the spiritual (but may still believe and have an active 'spiritual life'). I was very rarely sensitive to the spiritual until I smoked cannabis. I believe this cannabis use caused a spiritual emergency, a sudden spiritual awakening that damage my aura. Instead of evolving a sensitivity to the spiritual at a natural pace, it happened all at once - and also at a time of great fear and inner turmoil (going through a schizophrenic breakdown). Yes, I say you can be schizophrenic and 'psychic'. And yes, I say that a negative condition of psychic, mediumistic awareness can imitate schizophrenic symptoms - that's what this blog and blogger attest to. Mine was a unique psychological make-up that permitted 1) a sensitizing to the spiritual with cannabis use (for which it is used in India by 'sadhus' and 2) a full schizophrenic breakdown and continuing delusions of grandeur and so on.
If I had gradually become more sensitive to the spiritual, I probably would not be writing this now, would not be troubled by the proximity and intrusions of ghosts, and would know nothing of the vast malevolence that haunts regions of the etheric realm. Mind you, and this I will mind too, because it is an important personal point, if I had not had a rapid awakening, I would not have passed-over (once-deceased) friends, I would not know God like I do and have a strong optimistic faith in the afterlife, I would not know about the spiritual guidance we all receive, I would never have had a vision of my guide, and I would not have educated myself in the esoteric as I have done (as much as anyone can in eight or nine years!) That's a long list, and it's one to be grateful for. I love my celestial friends; not only are they lots of fun, and supportive, but they are faithful, by my side every day. I have a small bagful of friendship with God, too, who as we all know can seem an elusive character, and this is something special. Spirituality brings happiness and strength too, powerful experiences.
Blogosphere
Is there anyone out there?
I'm hoping this is a worthwhile occupation of mine. I know there are millions of blogs out there. I'd like mine to be useful and read. Maybe it will be read the longer it stays on the web.
I'll keep publishing posts in the hopes it will serve someone. I know it helps me - it helps me clarify my ideas, and it's validating.
I'm hoping this is a worthwhile occupation of mine. I know there are millions of blogs out there. I'd like mine to be useful and read. Maybe it will be read the longer it stays on the web.
I'll keep publishing posts in the hopes it will serve someone. I know it helps me - it helps me clarify my ideas, and it's validating.
Saturday, 15 May 2010
Who Am I?
Who am I? This is not an existential question! Nor is it time for me to expose my identity.
I mean by this, who am I in daily life? If you met me, how would I appear?
Well, first, what do I say about myself?
I am calm, rational, and high-functioning. I am a creative person. I manage all my bills myself, all my shopping and cooking and cleaning. I am well-educated, even at my age of 29.
If you meet me I am very shy, and you may detect some unnaturalness in the way I speak, the way I order words. [I am shy because some of the spirits who influence me seek to project an aura of strong untrustworthiness through me, which makes me seem untrustworthy; other times I am shy because of the berating the spirits give me in trying to persuade me I am a person somehow of low worth]. I talk less than most other people.
I just think this is an interesting question, of who I am, because it fills out the picture presented by the blog here at "Diagnosis: schizophrenia!" It's important for me to tell you that I am, in my own opinion, a carefully reasoning, reflective individual.
If you met me, you would likely not have a clue of my condition - just unless you mentioned telepathy and malevolent spirits and suffering...
All I'm saying is that I have a problem with spirits - next to any schizophrenic symptoms I have had - a problem which some Christian churches (in an un-politically correct fashion) call 'demonic infestation', or oppression. I have a problem with spirits. [And not spirits of the drinking kind].
As time goes on I will become healthier and healthier, more rational, stronger, yet I can guarantee that this condition will be unchanged, until I can find someone to help me with it, because it is independent of my mental health. It is indeed an ongoing challenge to my mental health, making it hard for me to blossom again as an individual after my breakdown ten, yes, ten years ago.
I'm doing my best in this blog to put forth a persuasive account of my story. I hope it does persuade (that's not such an easy task, it's demanding, even if the theme of my plaint were different).
I sometimes wonder what it must be like not to be troubled, I was that person once, only dealing with the mundane, and fully operational, not incapacitated in anyway by the causes of pain I know today. So if you're reading this and you are well, thank your lucky stars, thank God, and go out and do something good, enjoy Life and spread happiness.
I mean by this, who am I in daily life? If you met me, how would I appear?
Well, first, what do I say about myself?
I am calm, rational, and high-functioning. I am a creative person. I manage all my bills myself, all my shopping and cooking and cleaning. I am well-educated, even at my age of 29.
If you meet me I am very shy, and you may detect some unnaturalness in the way I speak, the way I order words. [I am shy because some of the spirits who influence me seek to project an aura of strong untrustworthiness through me, which makes me seem untrustworthy; other times I am shy because of the berating the spirits give me in trying to persuade me I am a person somehow of low worth]. I talk less than most other people.
I just think this is an interesting question, of who I am, because it fills out the picture presented by the blog here at "Diagnosis: schizophrenia!" It's important for me to tell you that I am, in my own opinion, a carefully reasoning, reflective individual.
If you met me, you would likely not have a clue of my condition - just unless you mentioned telepathy and malevolent spirits and suffering...
All I'm saying is that I have a problem with spirits - next to any schizophrenic symptoms I have had - a problem which some Christian churches (in an un-politically correct fashion) call 'demonic infestation', or oppression. I have a problem with spirits. [And not spirits of the drinking kind].
There is a spiritual reality as well as a material reality.
We have each of us a soul and there is perseverance of the soul.
Some troubled souls cause trouble post-mortem.
Oh, and there is such a thing in Heaven called the Law of Non-Interference, so prayers for protection may well seem unanswered.
As time goes on I will become healthier and healthier, more rational, stronger, yet I can guarantee that this condition will be unchanged, until I can find someone to help me with it, because it is independent of my mental health. It is indeed an ongoing challenge to my mental health, making it hard for me to blossom again as an individual after my breakdown ten, yes, ten years ago.
I'm doing my best in this blog to put forth a persuasive account of my story. I hope it does persuade (that's not such an easy task, it's demanding, even if the theme of my plaint were different).
I sometimes wonder what it must be like not to be troubled, I was that person once, only dealing with the mundane, and fully operational, not incapacitated in anyway by the causes of pain I know today. So if you're reading this and you are well, thank your lucky stars, thank God, and go out and do something good, enjoy Life and spread happiness.
My diagnosis
I am diagnosed with a psychotic condition - my psychiatrist didn't bother giving me more details. [I'm always having a go at my psychiatrist in my blog!] I have previously been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I thought I was being influenced by other people (mortal people); I had, I suppose, lost some of my soul power to the degree that I felt completely overwhelmed, and I was overwhelmed, although my thinking was paranoid. I suppose, too, that I was right in thinking that I was under a dark shadow that was making me feel abnormally bad, - bad in mood and bad about myself.
But, all that besides, I am quite comforted by the fact that my illness was induced by cannabis misuse (overuse). It feels like I don't really have proper schizophrenia, not like other people... I mean that this fact helps me dissociate from people who develop the illness naturally, thus causing me to feel less stigma - and also hope, that my illness will pass more easily.
I don't mean to distance myself from others who have schizophrenia in a spirit of rejection.
On a related note, what do I call what I have? I tend to call it 'my condition', rather than an illness, becuase I believe my symptoms are derived from a naturally occurring phenomenon, namely haunting.
Haunting is rare. Ghosts, I think, are not rare; neither are spirits who seek to injure the living. but there are more workers for Light than detractors seeking destruction and harm.
To get to my position, you have to have a) strong sensitivity, and b) strong vulnerability (both of which cannabis use and overuse may cause or trigger). I guess that combination, which will expose a person to spiritual threat and attract danger, is not common. Still, it happened to me. It may be with me for many years, but there are advantages for me - I get stronger, and wiser.
But, all that besides, I am quite comforted by the fact that my illness was induced by cannabis misuse (overuse). It feels like I don't really have proper schizophrenia, not like other people... I mean that this fact helps me dissociate from people who develop the illness naturally, thus causing me to feel less stigma - and also hope, that my illness will pass more easily.
I don't mean to distance myself from others who have schizophrenia in a spirit of rejection.
On a related note, what do I call what I have? I tend to call it 'my condition', rather than an illness, becuase I believe my symptoms are derived from a naturally occurring phenomenon, namely haunting.
Haunting is rare. Ghosts, I think, are not rare; neither are spirits who seek to injure the living. but there are more workers for Light than detractors seeking destruction and harm.
To get to my position, you have to have a) strong sensitivity, and b) strong vulnerability (both of which cannabis use and overuse may cause or trigger). I guess that combination, which will expose a person to spiritual threat and attract danger, is not common. Still, it happened to me. It may be with me for many years, but there are advantages for me - I get stronger, and wiser.
Thinking, Thinking
A common phenomenon for me is 'backtracking'. This word 'backtracking' refers to my reaction when my thoughts get overrided by spirits. It may be the spirits round me, or the ones further away. (The ones nearby are more tame, the ones further away are mroe savage and intent on causing injury).
Typically the interference, or disturbance, pointedly contravenes my personality type, so as to be rude. I will then respond in various ways, with patience or reproach, or focussing healing intent to repair any damage done. By rude, I mean profane humour, racist humour, sexist humour and such like. The worse the disturbance, the more serious it is, and the more injurious it is, for example cruel judegements and disrespectful observations of others.
I may be thinking, and my thoughts will literally rush into an uncharacteristic or unnatural channel, as they get railroaded by spirits. It's a kind of possession. I have only once been fully possessed, and that was just for a moment, but I very often get this irritating, upsetting or polluting version of thought possession.
This would be one way I know that I interact with spirits - the other is that I hear them. The more powerful and more distant-seeming spirits seem to KNOW what I'm thinking very often and use their forceful influence to change the course of my thoughts. Any negative avenue (eg base humour, or more severely, critical and judgemental views) is brought up, when I would not naturally have those thoughts. The result is a very draining effect - but secondarily, because of the back-tracking, because of my responses, I have become stronger and have marshalled a body of positive thinking and attitude. I suppose it has helped me identify myself and helped me refine my personlity to be a more positive and nicer person (when I'm not under the terribly gloomy influence of these unhappy and disgruntled and malevolent spirits).
I hope this isn't too boring. I think it's interesting!
I'd love to know how they do it. I guess that is not likely, unless a celestial spirit informs me... I'd love to know how they observe and infuence my thoughts - oh, and I'd love them to stop too...
Typically the interference, or disturbance, pointedly contravenes my personality type, so as to be rude. I will then respond in various ways, with patience or reproach, or focussing healing intent to repair any damage done. By rude, I mean profane humour, racist humour, sexist humour and such like. The worse the disturbance, the more serious it is, and the more injurious it is, for example cruel judegements and disrespectful observations of others.
I may be thinking, and my thoughts will literally rush into an uncharacteristic or unnatural channel, as they get railroaded by spirits. It's a kind of possession. I have only once been fully possessed, and that was just for a moment, but I very often get this irritating, upsetting or polluting version of thought possession.
This would be one way I know that I interact with spirits - the other is that I hear them. The more powerful and more distant-seeming spirits seem to KNOW what I'm thinking very often and use their forceful influence to change the course of my thoughts. Any negative avenue (eg base humour, or more severely, critical and judgemental views) is brought up, when I would not naturally have those thoughts. The result is a very draining effect - but secondarily, because of the back-tracking, because of my responses, I have become stronger and have marshalled a body of positive thinking and attitude. I suppose it has helped me identify myself and helped me refine my personlity to be a more positive and nicer person (when I'm not under the terribly gloomy influence of these unhappy and disgruntled and malevolent spirits).
I hope this isn't too boring. I think it's interesting!
I'd love to know how they do it. I guess that is not likely, unless a celestial spirit informs me... I'd love to know how they observe and infuence my thoughts - oh, and I'd love them to stop too...
Haunting
Following on from my last post, in which I called into doubt all my experience (!) I would like to extend an electronic hand of friendship, (since we're on the Internet) to those experiencing haunting.
Experiencing haunting, you may, in this day and age - if you are not an experienced psychic - doubt yourself and wonder if you are insane.
I think it's a major calling really - it's a major Life-experience. The sad fact is that it may be hard to clear up, but I guess it also will set you on a Life-path of spirituality and awareness.
The souls gravitate towards you because of your sensitvity and the amount of Light you are putting out into the world - its a kind of compliment.
Problem:
You're on a blog about schizophrenic-type symptoms. Experiencing haunting, your average doctor may well decide you are not well... You have to take sides and decide which world you belong to, for there are many worlds on and supported by our Earth. Conversely you can walk out and get exorcised by a priesthood, or cured by a witch-doctor type.
With me, I experience ordinary haunting, I hear usually two or more spirits trapped in the etheric near me, and a rather worse type of haunting from afar by spirits less well-known to me, who can exert influence over my mental activity. There are two tyes of haunting going on in my life. If you are goig through something simliar, I etxned my hand to you. I know something of the apin you may go through, and the heaviness of the weight of what is often more than harassment, and extends into - and mind the cliche of schizophrenic symptomology - persecution.
In this entry, I just want to say, yes, it's real, keep going, have courage, you can find a way through.
Psychicness can be nice, but this kind of paranormality isn't. You end up craving the normality you once knew. You can create any condition you like for yourself. You are very strong! Have faith that you can reclaim your spiritual space.
A final note: I read recently that aggression is a cry for help; no matter how authoritative your attacker or oppressor, no matter how strong they seem, in truth they are weak in their core - ask yourself what help they could use and what you could do for them.
Experiencing haunting, you may, in this day and age - if you are not an experienced psychic - doubt yourself and wonder if you are insane.
I think it's a major calling really - it's a major Life-experience. The sad fact is that it may be hard to clear up, but I guess it also will set you on a Life-path of spirituality and awareness.
The souls gravitate towards you because of your sensitvity and the amount of Light you are putting out into the world - its a kind of compliment.
Problem:
You're on a blog about schizophrenic-type symptoms. Experiencing haunting, your average doctor may well decide you are not well... You have to take sides and decide which world you belong to, for there are many worlds on and supported by our Earth. Conversely you can walk out and get exorcised by a priesthood, or cured by a witch-doctor type.
With me, I experience ordinary haunting, I hear usually two or more spirits trapped in the etheric near me, and a rather worse type of haunting from afar by spirits less well-known to me, who can exert influence over my mental activity. There are two tyes of haunting going on in my life. If you are goig through something simliar, I etxned my hand to you. I know something of the apin you may go through, and the heaviness of the weight of what is often more than harassment, and extends into - and mind the cliche of schizophrenic symptomology - persecution.
In this entry, I just want to say, yes, it's real, keep going, have courage, you can find a way through.
Psychicness can be nice, but this kind of paranormality isn't. You end up craving the normality you once knew. You can create any condition you like for yourself. You are very strong! Have faith that you can reclaim your spiritual space.
A final note: I read recently that aggression is a cry for help; no matter how authoritative your attacker or oppressor, no matter how strong they seem, in truth they are weak in their core - ask yourself what help they could use and what you could do for them.
I Hear
I am clairaudient, very clairaudient for a non-professional psychic person.
Today I have been thinking about something my dad said to me around Christmas-time. He called me a soldier of Christ, which is nice. It makes me proud. It makes me feel I have a duty to fulfil and a service to offer. Actually, he told me to act like a soldier of Christ, because I was misbehaving (I can't remember exactly what I was doing amiss, though).
Oh, and my dad died four years ago...
I hear things. I'm spiritually sensitive and I hear spirits. Sometimes I wish I wasn't spiritually sensitive, because then I wouldn't hear the ghosts around me, those people in spirit who are squatting near me in the etheric dimension who follow me around, and I wish I wasn't spiritually sensitive so I wouldn't be affected by intrusions and disturbances to my mental activity.
This is hard, since having a diagnosis as a person with schizophrenia, it's all harder to believe for the non-psychic person, whether they be family members or the psychiatrist I am under. It puts me in a difficult position. Sometimes, when everyones disagrees with you, you will start to agree with them, no matter what the proofs may be otherwise - funny that. ESpecially when it's all about the spiritual reality.
Today I have been thinking about something my dad said to me around Christmas-time. He called me a soldier of Christ, which is nice. It makes me proud. It makes me feel I have a duty to fulfil and a service to offer. Actually, he told me to act like a soldier of Christ, because I was misbehaving (I can't remember exactly what I was doing amiss, though).
Oh, and my dad died four years ago...
I hear things. I'm spiritually sensitive and I hear spirits. Sometimes I wish I wasn't spiritually sensitive, because then I wouldn't hear the ghosts around me, those people in spirit who are squatting near me in the etheric dimension who follow me around, and I wish I wasn't spiritually sensitive so I wouldn't be affected by intrusions and disturbances to my mental activity.
This is hard, since having a diagnosis as a person with schizophrenia, it's all harder to believe for the non-psychic person, whether they be family members or the psychiatrist I am under. It puts me in a difficult position. Sometimes, when everyones disagrees with you, you will start to agree with them, no matter what the proofs may be otherwise - funny that. ESpecially when it's all about the spiritual reality.
Paranormality or Paralunacy?
Where is the line between believing you are in the world of the paranormal and being, actually, in the realm of paralunacy?
I remember seeing a healer who 'turned off' the moment I began to talk about the finer points of telepathy. You may have the same reaction, now...: there is a force that impels my mind to make telepathic connection and it is very strong. I get hijacked by malevolent spirits. They say where thought goes, there energy follows, and well, I stopped watching TV and listening to live music a few years ago. I felt the spirits were polluting others' awareness through me, which isn't a nice situation to be in, to be a bearer of that energy.
I guess I could use this page for confession, seeing as it's anonymous; the hijacking of my mind, which is obviously telepathically 'switched-on' and susceptible to interference, has caused me great feelings of guilt, because of the darkness that previously came through me, before I abstained from those aforementioned media.
Crazy, huh?
I guess there have always been people of experience, and people who ask them, "Is this true?" Just nowadays, in the developed urban world, the orthodox tends to ask "Is this true?" in a way that discredits experience, rather than seeking to be sure of it and verify it. The skeptics are the orthodox, but the people of experience still keep rolling on. Still, telepathy like I have known must be pretty unusual.
Apparently, some people are senders and other people are receivers. I do 'hear', in the special clairaudient way, but I guess I am a powerful sender, and this faculty is open to exploitation.
Paralunacy or paranormality? What you believe depends partly on your experience and the teachings you have received - and beyond that depends on how much you can maintain an open mind and open heart.
I remember seeing a healer who 'turned off' the moment I began to talk about the finer points of telepathy. You may have the same reaction, now...: there is a force that impels my mind to make telepathic connection and it is very strong. I get hijacked by malevolent spirits. They say where thought goes, there energy follows, and well, I stopped watching TV and listening to live music a few years ago. I felt the spirits were polluting others' awareness through me, which isn't a nice situation to be in, to be a bearer of that energy.
I guess I could use this page for confession, seeing as it's anonymous; the hijacking of my mind, which is obviously telepathically 'switched-on' and susceptible to interference, has caused me great feelings of guilt, because of the darkness that previously came through me, before I abstained from those aforementioned media.
Crazy, huh?
I guess there have always been people of experience, and people who ask them, "Is this true?" Just nowadays, in the developed urban world, the orthodox tends to ask "Is this true?" in a way that discredits experience, rather than seeking to be sure of it and verify it. The skeptics are the orthodox, but the people of experience still keep rolling on. Still, telepathy like I have known must be pretty unusual.
Apparently, some people are senders and other people are receivers. I do 'hear', in the special clairaudient way, but I guess I am a powerful sender, and this faculty is open to exploitation.
Paralunacy or paranormality? What you believe depends partly on your experience and the teachings you have received - and beyond that depends on how much you can maintain an open mind and open heart.
Friday, 5 March 2010
Demonology
Hello World, I have more to write.
I have sometimes called the spirits that bother me demons. Not the spirits that are around me on the Earth plane - these lost souls are properly called ghosts, or as I like to call them, to humanise them, ghost people, or discarnate earthbound spirit people. I have called them demons who are spirits existing in the etheric realm (not the astral, where properly housed spirits are), who choose to bother humanity (bother me).
Well it's time to rename these bothersome etheric realm spirits.
Naming them'demon' alienates, pushes away; this is not what love does. Love heals and embraces. These are the spirits of people - or the one that bothers me is anyway. In a universe of love, only love can heal, only love can restore order.
The etymological origin of the word 'demon' is linked with the Greek 'daimon', which means 'master'. This made me think, although the troublesome spirit cannot dominate the essence of me, which I believe is divine and free (same as anyone else's), the 'master' can teach us. What am I learning from the master?
I have also compared this spirit (and it's allies) to the Japanese 'stablemasters', the educators of the sumo wrestlers, who sometimes beat their proteges to harden them and prepare them for combat. So the stablemaster are like harsh but useful teachers.
Again, what do they teach me? In simple terms, the spirit is like a 'bully', but a more pronounced kind, who uses all means to injure, with focussed intent and maximum force, a bully who watches over the mind and exerts force directly upon it. What does anyone learn from being bullied?
One thing one may learn from being bullied is the pattern, the tone, the ins and outs of bullying... which one could apply to others - a soul tragedy to do so. Sometimes I worry that my identity is eroded by this bullying process - do I occasionally lose my temper too quickly, through having faced the feeling of being helpless too long? Am I becoming harsh and insensitive myself through receiving cruel treatment? Perhaps there may come a time when I wish to be a bully, and the universe may test my nature then. Better to be a hero than a bully.
To be honest I'm not exactly sure what I learn from all this.
I know I gain heroism, but it's not an especial quality of mine, it's human nature; still it's good.
I also develop compassion for my enemy. I suppose this is an example of it. If compassion is love and understanding, then this is an example of it - not wishing to demonise the enemy!! - But wishing to be on the same level as them to heal the energy between us.
In metaphysical writing it is said that once you understand what you are learning from a pattern of experience, then you can release it. There must be something major I am learning, but I do not have the awareness to clearly identify it, not yet I don't.
So I conclude by affirming the spiritual view, that there is a God, that people can be attuned to the spiritual, that we have a soul and that life persists after death, and that we always have the freedom to do what we wish - whether in this world or the next, and whether we wish to do harm or good. May you all be safe from spiritual harm; and if you are not safe from spiritual harm, may you find a refuge and a hero who can heal you.
I have sometimes called the spirits that bother me demons. Not the spirits that are around me on the Earth plane - these lost souls are properly called ghosts, or as I like to call them, to humanise them, ghost people, or discarnate earthbound spirit people. I have called them demons who are spirits existing in the etheric realm (not the astral, where properly housed spirits are), who choose to bother humanity (bother me).
Well it's time to rename these bothersome etheric realm spirits.
Naming them'demon' alienates, pushes away; this is not what love does. Love heals and embraces. These are the spirits of people - or the one that bothers me is anyway. In a universe of love, only love can heal, only love can restore order.
The etymological origin of the word 'demon' is linked with the Greek 'daimon', which means 'master'. This made me think, although the troublesome spirit cannot dominate the essence of me, which I believe is divine and free (same as anyone else's), the 'master' can teach us. What am I learning from the master?
I have also compared this spirit (and it's allies) to the Japanese 'stablemasters', the educators of the sumo wrestlers, who sometimes beat their proteges to harden them and prepare them for combat. So the stablemaster are like harsh but useful teachers.
Again, what do they teach me? In simple terms, the spirit is like a 'bully', but a more pronounced kind, who uses all means to injure, with focussed intent and maximum force, a bully who watches over the mind and exerts force directly upon it. What does anyone learn from being bullied?
One thing one may learn from being bullied is the pattern, the tone, the ins and outs of bullying... which one could apply to others - a soul tragedy to do so. Sometimes I worry that my identity is eroded by this bullying process - do I occasionally lose my temper too quickly, through having faced the feeling of being helpless too long? Am I becoming harsh and insensitive myself through receiving cruel treatment? Perhaps there may come a time when I wish to be a bully, and the universe may test my nature then. Better to be a hero than a bully.
To be honest I'm not exactly sure what I learn from all this.
I know I gain heroism, but it's not an especial quality of mine, it's human nature; still it's good.
I also develop compassion for my enemy. I suppose this is an example of it. If compassion is love and understanding, then this is an example of it - not wishing to demonise the enemy!! - But wishing to be on the same level as them to heal the energy between us.
In metaphysical writing it is said that once you understand what you are learning from a pattern of experience, then you can release it. There must be something major I am learning, but I do not have the awareness to clearly identify it, not yet I don't.
So I conclude by affirming the spiritual view, that there is a God, that people can be attuned to the spiritual, that we have a soul and that life persists after death, and that we always have the freedom to do what we wish - whether in this world or the next, and whether we wish to do harm or good. May you all be safe from spiritual harm; and if you are not safe from spiritual harm, may you find a refuge and a hero who can heal you.
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
Imaginary Friends... Me And My Spirit Buddies
So, I have said that I co-habit with ghosts (unwillingly). One of these ghosts has a knack for speaking through my mouth occasionally, which annoys me. Not in conversation, but in reaction to things. (Another intrusion).
Sometimes I can laugh like my dad, if he's around and there's somethng he finds funny! (My dad has passed over). (Clearly I can't say he's dead, because he isn't!) This is one way I may know he's around - he doesn't always speak 'to' me and thus let me know he's there.
I must be a very absorbent kind of psychic person.
In this post I just wanted to say that I can seem to have imaginary friends. Imagine if your every thought is heard - including every humourous thought. Sometimes (quite often actually) I chuckle to myself because I'm sharing a joke with the world of spirit!
One of my neighbours at university thought I was more than eccentric because I could be heard laughing to myself very frequently (this was at a time when I my medicine was making me 'high' - I wouldn't want you thinking me 'more than eccentric'! ;) ).
One time I was on the brink of bursting out laughing in an optician's treatment room, and a spirit friend mischievously tipped me over the edge into full hysterics! (I always have a real problem getting though eye tests - I don't like it when they come very close to my face to look in my eyes.. it always makes me want to laugh!)
But really, I have few friends in the outside world. I fell out of the social loop when I got ill, and because of my condition I find it hard to get on with others. When I'm alone (- or more properly 'alone') - there are ghosts to contend with who very often provide a focus for my attention, and there are also my friends from on High who come and visit out of love, in a spirit of service. So my mind is often busy when I am alone and my heart is satisfied for friendship.
I believe my health will improve. In another ten years or so, I may have a lot of friends again, as I did one day. I think in some time I will be ready to be natural with other people again, and be able to enjoy myself with others. I also have to find out who I am before then, and come out of the inner world more. But for now, I'm grateful for my 'imaginary friends'.
Sometimes I can laugh like my dad, if he's around and there's somethng he finds funny! (My dad has passed over). (Clearly I can't say he's dead, because he isn't!) This is one way I may know he's around - he doesn't always speak 'to' me and thus let me know he's there.
I must be a very absorbent kind of psychic person.
In this post I just wanted to say that I can seem to have imaginary friends. Imagine if your every thought is heard - including every humourous thought. Sometimes (quite often actually) I chuckle to myself because I'm sharing a joke with the world of spirit!
One of my neighbours at university thought I was more than eccentric because I could be heard laughing to myself very frequently (this was at a time when I my medicine was making me 'high' - I wouldn't want you thinking me 'more than eccentric'! ;) ).
One time I was on the brink of bursting out laughing in an optician's treatment room, and a spirit friend mischievously tipped me over the edge into full hysterics! (I always have a real problem getting though eye tests - I don't like it when they come very close to my face to look in my eyes.. it always makes me want to laugh!)
But really, I have few friends in the outside world. I fell out of the social loop when I got ill, and because of my condition I find it hard to get on with others. When I'm alone (- or more properly 'alone') - there are ghosts to contend with who very often provide a focus for my attention, and there are also my friends from on High who come and visit out of love, in a spirit of service. So my mind is often busy when I am alone and my heart is satisfied for friendship.
I believe my health will improve. In another ten years or so, I may have a lot of friends again, as I did one day. I think in some time I will be ready to be natural with other people again, and be able to enjoy myself with others. I also have to find out who I am before then, and come out of the inner world more. But for now, I'm grateful for my 'imaginary friends'.
Psychicness: The Social Standing of Psychic People
It's probably easier to be affiliated with the spiritualist church, here in the UK. They seem to be good people, nice people, decent people, and, most importantly they of all psychic people seem to me to have the best reputation. They are, although slightly mysterious in their supernatural way, respectable.
The Social Standing Of Psychic People. If only 'psychic' was easy to say. I have hear people use it in a way that suggests they think it to be acceptable, but also something more than controversial... also something illicit. Could be this harks back to our more religious background, when anyone slightly witchy was condemned and killed. Or brutally tortured and killed. And not long ago, mediums were prosecuted for witchcraft.
Still, the spiritualist church is in the lead for the respectability stakes.
Oh, and one more thing: there's the other connotation lurking behind the word 'psychic' - a connotation of craziness, of madness. This could just be through the ability of psychically active people to see and hear things that 'aren't there', just like someone insane talking to him- or herself. This does not help me much! Me in my quest to be recognised as a borderline insane individual with pronounced psychic abilities!
There is another side to 'psychic' - its scariness, having higher knowledge others can't seem to attain, and being able to communicate with ghosts, with the dead (spirits).
Lastly, it seems it's not too hard to fake being psychic - to basically lie about having special knowledge - which is itself a cause for disbelieving these people who claim to see and hear things that aren't there...
All of this means that 'psychic' is not an easy thing to claim to be to anyone, be it a friend or the doctor.
And writing this I'm starting to have doubts about the appropriacy of using the word 'paranormal'; - although psychicness is certainly not most people's normal, it is my normal and that of many others. Psychicness feels perfectly normal to me!
However, if I'm not confusing myself!, the word paranormal is helpful in indicating why psychicness is not very well understood, officially, the reason being that it is not common to be psychically active.
The Social Standing Of Psychic People. If only 'psychic' was easy to say. I have hear people use it in a way that suggests they think it to be acceptable, but also something more than controversial... also something illicit. Could be this harks back to our more religious background, when anyone slightly witchy was condemned and killed. Or brutally tortured and killed. And not long ago, mediums were prosecuted for witchcraft.
Still, the spiritualist church is in the lead for the respectability stakes.
Oh, and one more thing: there's the other connotation lurking behind the word 'psychic' - a connotation of craziness, of madness. This could just be through the ability of psychically active people to see and hear things that 'aren't there', just like someone insane talking to him- or herself. This does not help me much! Me in my quest to be recognised as a borderline insane individual with pronounced psychic abilities!
There is another side to 'psychic' - its scariness, having higher knowledge others can't seem to attain, and being able to communicate with ghosts, with the dead (spirits).
Lastly, it seems it's not too hard to fake being psychic - to basically lie about having special knowledge - which is itself a cause for disbelieving these people who claim to see and hear things that aren't there...
All of this means that 'psychic' is not an easy thing to claim to be to anyone, be it a friend or the doctor.
And writing this I'm starting to have doubts about the appropriacy of using the word 'paranormal'; - although psychicness is certainly not most people's normal, it is my normal and that of many others. Psychicness feels perfectly normal to me!
However, if I'm not confusing myself!, the word paranormal is helpful in indicating why psychicness is not very well understood, officially, the reason being that it is not common to be psychically active.
Stubborn Ghosts
I co-habit with ghosts.
This is not such a nice situation, because a) it's intrusive b) they can be unpleasant c) I don't approve of their presence.
On the other hand, the fact that I know they are there and can sometimes hear their voices is a good thing for me, as it indicates I have a psychic gift, which could be useful to others.
This is a post about the phemonon of spectral stubbornness, the refusal of these spirits to go to the light.
I had read that if you sense earthbounds, you are to send them love and tell thm to go to the Light. This has not yet been succesful for me. Either they want to be here, they're afraid to go on, or they don't know how to go on to ascend in the Light.
I don't know. I don't know what professional people do to move on ghosts - although I remember that they use the help of celestial allies - and I don't have that capability at present.
PS "b) they can be unpleasant" above can be anything from grindingly bad / frequent bad jokes to bullying - since they know my thoughts, they know my sensitivities. Still, they're not as bad, generally, as The Ones Who Watch from further away, who seem more intent on hurting me...
This is not such a nice situation, because a) it's intrusive b) they can be unpleasant c) I don't approve of their presence.
On the other hand, the fact that I know they are there and can sometimes hear their voices is a good thing for me, as it indicates I have a psychic gift, which could be useful to others.
This is a post about the phemonon of spectral stubbornness, the refusal of these spirits to go to the light.
I had read that if you sense earthbounds, you are to send them love and tell thm to go to the Light. This has not yet been succesful for me. Either they want to be here, they're afraid to go on, or they don't know how to go on to ascend in the Light.
I don't know. I don't know what professional people do to move on ghosts - although I remember that they use the help of celestial allies - and I don't have that capability at present.
PS "b) they can be unpleasant" above can be anything from grindingly bad / frequent bad jokes to bullying - since they know my thoughts, they know my sensitivities. Still, they're not as bad, generally, as The Ones Who Watch from further away, who seem more intent on hurting me...
My Psychic Disturbances: Frequency and Quality
Frequency and quality - some vaguely scientific words! Frequency = how often; quality = of what nature.
Just a note to say that the frequency of disturbance can be as bad as the quality of it. Disturbance need not be outright and obviously objectionable to cause injury, but merely be an intrusion into the mental space. Having someone around all the time, (I mean a ghost, or ghosts), someone who you hear speaking to you within seconds after you wake up in the morning, is a kind of disturbance. Too much mental traffic is painful - the frequency of thought activity must be within comfortable boundaries; this is especially true on hard days, days when the quality of disturbance is particularly burdensome.
Strangely it is a rare occurrence for my celestial friends and relations to intrude on me. I hear them often, but they do not injure me - either because I have become accustomed to thinking of them as allies, as desirable presences - or because they know to respect my boundaries, or some other reason. (Still, the frequency of hearing my celestial friends is much lower than that of the earthbound uninvited and unapproved presences).
Here I'm making a division between wanted and unwanted presences, and this is what defines 'disturbance'. (A disturbance is technically an unwanted psychic phenomenon caused by another being).
Finally, this excessive frequency of mental activity is irritating at least and very painful at worst; it's tiring and can be painful.
Just a note to say that the frequency of disturbance can be as bad as the quality of it. Disturbance need not be outright and obviously objectionable to cause injury, but merely be an intrusion into the mental space. Having someone around all the time, (I mean a ghost, or ghosts), someone who you hear speaking to you within seconds after you wake up in the morning, is a kind of disturbance. Too much mental traffic is painful - the frequency of thought activity must be within comfortable boundaries; this is especially true on hard days, days when the quality of disturbance is particularly burdensome.
Strangely it is a rare occurrence for my celestial friends and relations to intrude on me. I hear them often, but they do not injure me - either because I have become accustomed to thinking of them as allies, as desirable presences - or because they know to respect my boundaries, or some other reason. (Still, the frequency of hearing my celestial friends is much lower than that of the earthbound uninvited and unapproved presences).
Here I'm making a division between wanted and unwanted presences, and this is what defines 'disturbance'. (A disturbance is technically an unwanted psychic phenomenon caused by another being).
Finally, this excessive frequency of mental activity is irritating at least and very painful at worst; it's tiring and can be painful.
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