Change of Heart

Looking back through some old posts - I have been writing now for over ten years, which 'plots' a journey and is a good achievement - I notice a habit in my writing about the voices.


I was just reading in a book about the power of love to change lives, and about how love "does not judge or criticise." I have been heavily critical of the voices.

We have different ways of speaking about the same thing - we can be angry or generous, angry or patient, angry or kind. I would say anger is not itself an evil, it serves a purpose, but I read of it being called the poison of the world! That is, the first thing to look at and change in ourselves.

What do you call these voices? Given that spiritual scientists say it is possible to have intrusive spirit entities with us, and it is possible that these can influence our minds and being and be heard as interior voices. Given that the voice hearing experience can be based in reality, what do we call them? Naming can be a shaming and a cause of conflict - that's an archetypal human issue. We have options.

Secondly, how do you talk further in describing these voices? Mine are problematic to me, I find they are often opposing my wellbeing and sabotaging my mental strength. How do I describe them in themselves? They seem to come from a lower place than myself (or anyone I know) and are rarely in great calm and stability and normal generosity. As soon as you fix a description of someone, it is creative and begins to call forth a repetition of the pattern of its qualities. It matters what words you use to describe. If you hold a high thought, it creates a high reality in response - that's metaphysical truth of how the universe works. You can think high thoughts about the voice-beings - or about anyone.

I have been responding with criticism. Basically, getting angry with them for being harsh to me, from a place of expectation that they should understand to treat others better, just as I understand. Sometimes or quite often, when they choose their routine of deliberate hurting, I might get angry and use language choices that are harsh though seemingly appropriate to describe them. This is criticism that is not very helpful, effectively giving them back like for like (returning harshness). Praise heals a person and a relationship. It is actually going to save a situation and bring in change to look for ways to praise and leave off from criticising. Because what is happening? It is merely a moment where you have the moral high ground; in another moment, you probably might not be in the right. The idea of fairness driving the criticism I would call a kind of illusion.

You have to be very careful, I think, not to denigrate when you are angered by another, and not to label them when they do something repeatedly, because it perpetuates trouble and division and suffering. Good words change the world. That's not a new idea: I was reading about the two millennia old religion we call Zoroastrianism that has the motto to live by "Good thoughts, good words, good deeds" as a path of closeness to God.

I have to find ways to bring in peace, and I don't do that by choosing more dramatic language, more condemning language or more disrespectful language, neither do I do it by staying in what is quite volatile anger and emotion of disgust. Instead, I could be feeling patience, generosity, kindness. There are 'keys' to do this, for example the one I noticed about expectation - you can't expect everyone to have perfect moral understanding in every case (which is doing good without thought of reward and also neither doing deliberate harm nor retaliating to harms).

I understand better just recently about forgiveness and the humility it involves and how I can forgive.

Part of the problem is the Problem of Rest. If you can't move away from a social/ego threat you get worn down. It is a problem of spaciousness, having voices as I do, they are always there! People require conscious rest like they require air, food, water and love. My voices can be unloving. If I don't rest enough, which easily happens, eventually I will be unloving back. I will find a way to verbally retaliate or even intimidate somehow or criticise. This is not unique and personal to me, it is standard for anyone who does not have perfect power and control for some reason. Maybe you saw the behaviour at some stage growing up and took it on; maybe you are tired or hurt; maybe you have not reached maturity in years; maybe you didn't grow up in a utopia! I can give myself grace for that behaviour, though I would like to change it.

Recently I found that I can use ambient noise (a loud water fountain) and at the same time some quite loud music (music that is more 'neutral') and I can meditate with all that noise and get into some conscious restfulness and recharge myself. It helps because the sound is loud and more ambient. Still it's an effort to meditate and I don't like to do it every day. This method mostly stops me from hearing the interior voices, and then the mind naturally heals up a bit, which is great! Maybe you readers out there in Internetland with difficult interior voices could try this.

These days I don't call the ones talking into my brain 'devils' or demons or damned or infernal, I don't like to label them as wicked. I think those are old terms based on superstition and not psychologically literate. The ones I have known are not actual demonic beings at all, but human beings awaiting transformation by Divine Love.
I have read of them being called lower spirits, which can be useful, but even that can sound derogatory. I would advise against labelling them negative or hostile. I could call them "entities" - a common term for "uninvited auric residents" among spiritual healers - but it sounds too impersonal as they are still spirits of human beings (the ones I have had). I keep a journal, and when I write about them, I have been making myself call them venerable, out of new understanding and to bring balance. Venerable spirits! After the Buddhist tradition of seeing all life as venerable. You can. I am reschooling myself not to retaliate - part of that involves respect.

It is worth closing with a Buddhist teaching "The Five Methods for Removing Annoyance". This shares how we can hold goodwill, compassion and 'onlooking equanimity' towards those who might annoy us, while ignoring them where possible and affirming that the venerable being in question has responsibility for the effects of their choices. Doing all that we come from a high level. I have been helped a lot by this.


I hope you have benefited from this post. I am growing and beginning to see better ways of relating to the human beings I am aware of in Spirit. I see now that love is part of the release process; I think anything other than love will only bind you closer.

More On Telepathy

I have read online somewhere that the cells in the brain that are responsible for telepathy are the ends of the neurons, called "dendrites". I think these areas are activated in people who report telepathic awareness. In my case there was a psychic denuding, experiencing a sense of mental nudity, but I think things went further, so that there was a raising of awareness, becoming more actively telepathic, and that there was some damage done also to this part of me, leaving uncomfortable openness and spiritual vulnerability. That's what I think: I opened and opened and opened until I broke my mind. It is in this damaged inner space that angry spirits intrude and can successfully exert some dominating force (possessing my thinking). Things are broken in there, to my disadvantage. And these souls also will direct malevolence to other people through my telepathic power. And God doesn't stop them. (I stop them by not watching much TV or going to theatre, concerts and so on). God doesn't stop them. It's God's wisdom that puts individual freedom ahead of group well-being. Freedom is more important; every free moment is a moment for self-discovery, meaning that God does not step in and therefore deny to the unquiet souls the opportunity to consciously become salvation-minded  

But it hurts!

Why... how can I describe the last thirteen years of mental struggle and slow evolution? The first point is that those who go before have gained knowledge that can ease the paths of those who follow. That's a great thing. To one day help someone progress past obstacles and avoid unnecessary suffering.

Interesting that a description of this journey also means tackling referring to the world of Spirit, and referring to being mistreated by 'demonic' spirits. All the time "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", healing goes on and one day there won't be room for intruders to come in and cause upset.

By the way, well done for getting past the bit about broadcasting telepathy, if you got past it!! I know this is a topic vulnerable to skepticism, but it's something that happens. The condition here can be summed up as "telepathic openness in connection with demonic beings". This is the point which my sanity hangs on!! I have a joke that if you don't ask me about ESP or demons, then I am just as normal as anyone else. Actually this is like a religious belief that someone else does not share, an irreconcilable difference in belief that is respectfully overcome by tolerance. That's it. Being psychically active and not in immediate harmony with the spirit world we now encounter is the diagnosis. 

I prayed just a moment ago, thinking of the Virgin Mary, and I heard a female voice comment that I was sending out a wish to be met by Mary's white light (the auric energy of white light, which is God's 'colour', God's energy).  I often pray to her, but never thought about her light. The Virgin Mary is a very serious intercessor for each of us. She will always care for those who look to her for help.There is a kind of conflict going on in my mind, with the others taking delight in injury - they are unquiet souls, emotionally out of touch with God's nature, and finding more happiness in being full of hate. 

Another "hearing", from my (deceased) father, said to a spirit nearby (an unhappy wanderer), may be what you wish to read: "We ask of you the same that we ask of [...me, Mr S]: that you are not submissive". This is the key, then. Even if we cannot beat them in force, we can find peace and detachment and godliness in refusing to feel small and worthless. We are worthy of honour. We are part of a living Universe whose power transcends all conflicts. We need not feel afraid. This is a very important point. Essentially, it means that we should peacefully be aware of our dignity in the presence of an opposing force. Not to cower or beg; not to rage or injure, but assert that you and your well-being matter. To meet psychological attack with a higher awareness. 

There is some good information in this . Why do some people have their psychology upside down? Why are they hateful? God didn't make them that way.

What an amazing thing it must be for the Heavenly ones to restrain themselves from adding to conflict no Earth, or restrain themselves too from taking away suffering when it is in God's wisdom for the suffering to continue.

Popularity of Posts on Diagnosis Schizophrenia: My Drawings

In terms of written posts,. most people come here to find out about "psychic attack", and less come for my autobiography on living with psychic/spiritual attack and the blurred lines in my culture between mental suffering and being psychic or sick.

However, way more (twice the number) of people come to see my drawings, from my initial breakdown and from time since then - which is a BIG surprise! It is unexpected, and I really like that people are interested in the drawings. Those drawings (from the search item "schizophrenia drawings") are very unusual. First I was an ordinary person, capable but not overly interested in art, then I was in a borderline mental place and drawing with passion or rapture and bringing forth designs from the unconscious. These drawings I hold to be special; I have had two of them made into posters, that I framed and hung on my walls in my home, they have a special place in my life, and rise above being a symbol of illness.

For me, the main point here is that most people who come to my blog are looking for some manner of support to respond to psychic attack or spiritual warfare, perhaps also with an emphasis of being disorientated and supposed insane . In many parts of the world and among the general population, awareness of spiritual attack is obviously non-existent (and you might well know that this awareness may merely be manifested as utter skepticism), and where it does it exist, it is likely to be known as fact rather than experience, or be special knowledge held by a few or by knowing ones. Which is not surprising. Psychic attack is "a big deal", you can buy many books on "psychic protection" on Amazon now, for example, but this condition of experiencing psychic aggression in an everyday or pronounced way is, I suppose, quite or very marginal. If you are reading this, you are likely a skeptical scientist or a spiritually sensitive person. If you are here as a spiritually sensitive person, then good luck to you, it is not all bad, you must be in the grace of God and on  a path with many gifts and wonders in store! Peace be with you, whatever the reason why you are reading this.

I hope I have been some help in guiding spiritually sensitive people on Earth at this time who are coping with spiritual wounds and warfare. Perhaps it is coming to the end of the 'investigation', this parapsychologist writes, as I am hopefully about to go to hospital and be initiated into the "bunker-buster" of psychiatric medications, called Clozaril, which may shut down and heal any excessive sensitivity of mind that I have. But I expect to report on that attempted treatment too, as it is also worth writing about for the world.

Until next time, good luck, and happy reading. Remember, the truth is out there...

I'm Lucky, Because...

I realise that I am lucky with the haunting I have, because they do not cause me any problems of addiction. I have read that if you are someone who has ghosts around you, then they can pass on parts of their thinking or behaviour to you, for example causing you depression or alcoholism or any kind of compulsions. I don't get that, and in that respect I consider myself lucky. If you read this blog, you will know by now that the real problems I have with haunting are to do with what is known as verbal abuse or psychological abuse from spirits. I suppose in the old days they would have called such abuse the attacks of the devil.


In the last week I have obtained a Christian crucifix with the medal of Saint Benedict behind Jesus' head (which medal is traditionally used for exorcism and spiritual well-being).

I have also begun annointing myself with water (local spring water, which I don't feel particularly the need to bless by prayer or ritual - my intention is strong enough; but you can bless water by leaving it in the sun for some hours or by making the sign of the cross or other powerful symbol over it). I do this having researched holy water a little, learning that holy water is used to remind Christians of Baptism, which purifies and washes away evil and blesses and gives Life. That's a powerful thing for me, and it's important in realigning myself and dedicating myself to the Power of Powers. That's a kind of thing you might read about in a psychic protection handbook.

I have also made an appointment to see a lady in London with experience of psychic healing, who treats psychic attack and heals the aura, who is a psychic medium. I have faith in her. That's at the end of the month, so we'll see what happens. They say that healing is internal, not external, of the soul, and occurs (I suppose) in God's good time - healing happens when it is right to happen. The lady has trained with the Spirit Release Foundation and Sue Allen, so I am 100% sure she is genuine, and not a fraud, as some people out there are who offer esoteric help.

I have also come to understand, from thinking about one spirit around me, that when people act in ways that don't make sense to cause harm, it is because they are unhappy at the soul level, principally the crown chakra or top two chakras (third eye chakra as well). The crown chakra is to do with the connection a being has with the universe, and perhaps feelings of self-worth in relation to Divinity. This is kind of an insight, kind of an intuition, but it rings true with me. Also note that spirits have souls, just as we in dense form have souls. I know that in Heaven we are close to God again, and also united with our Higher Self, but I suppose that soul awareness is something bigger that Heavenly souls learn to access, just as we can on Earth. As I understand it, God makes us by putting all the Light he/she can into our bodies (!), but there is still some left over - a lot in fact, and that is the soul. That's how I see it, and I say that's a reliable way of seeing it, too. In my culture we might refer to people as souls ("lost souls", "poor souls", "save our souls" (S.O.S.)), but the soul, according to my beliefs, is something in us and something more than us, at once like God in nature, but also less than God in nature. This perspective could well be reassuring to spirits, to understand that there is more and that they can evolve.
But, going back to our spirit who is badly-behaved without being able to explain why, it is because they are having some funny thoughts about Life and Who They Are in relation to All That Is. So we can pray for them to become aware and knowing and trusting of Life.






Mr. S.

Consequences: Why I Am Where I am

I asked myself today, what are the causes that lead to the consequences of my being psychotic and experiencing psychic attack?

The simple answer: it was using cannabis, without understanding or initiation.

I was not prepared for the potential of cannabis to cause fearful anxiety, nor for its potential to induce spiritual experiences. Both of those factors resulted in a downfall for me, as I became terribly anxious, then withdrawn, delusional and had hallucinations as the fear increased; I also opened up spiritual sensitivity - both to God and to the spirit reality. 

Cannabis can actually be a mystical aid in its spiritualising properties, and the possibilities of spiritual opening are best prepared for with some kind if teaching, to prevent paranoia and to ground a person to avoid sudden change of personality and outlook. 

As for attracting spirit attack, this could have come about through the general toxic mindset I had at the time of breakdown, being full of fear and having perceptions of evil and horrible hallucinations, and because spirits from realms of less Divine Light awareness can be drawn to those on Earth whose inner light is blossoming through spiritual awakening [I read recently that spirits can be drawn to those who are spiritually awakening].

This was supposed to be a simple post! I was just going to write that I got into this difficulty through using cannabis without knowing what it could do.

Introducing Milarepa, A Hero of the Inner World.

I have just been reading an article found here called "Inviting the demon" about the great Tibetan Buddhist poet-saint Milarepa and his adventures with demons. He went away to be a hermit and found himself harassed by demons.

I laughed when I read this, about when Milarepa first 'met' the hostile spirits:

Shocked, Milarepa politely introduced himself and asked them to
leave. At this, the demons became menacing, surrounding him while
growling, grimacing, and laughing maliciously. Milarepa was alarmed and attempted the most powerful of exorcism recitations, to no avail. The demons became even more threatening. Next, the yogin tried with great compassion to pacify them with Buddhist teachings, but they still remained, more vivid and horrible than before.

 
Clearly Milarepa couldn't find anything that worked to rid himself of the demons, not even 'the most powerful of exorcism recitations'!
 
This echoes my experience. That nothing seems to get rid of the threatening energies coming in.
Reading further in the article, I learned that Milarepa saw meeting with these spirits as a projection of his own mind - a manifestation of his own creating [read older posts to find out more about the metaphysical philosophy that we are all creating our reality in a primal sense, through our minds, whether in a more or less controlled manner]. That was interesting, and resounded with what I have been writing here.
 
If you need to love your demons, keep reading the article linked above, because it says that Milarepa also thought that these spirits were filled with luminosity and transparency, just the same as everything else. This reminded me of a near death account I read about at http://www.near-death.com/ of someone dying, and being accompanied by angels; whilst on a tour, they were shown a person who was down-and-out, lying in the gutter and drunk, and then that someone who was near death was asked by the angels what they saw - they reacted with disgust at the individual, before being shown by the angels that even this person who seemed degraded was full of love and light. To read that is an uplifting and reassuring experience - we are all filled with love and light! It is the essential nature of the universe/God's energy.
 
Milarepa strengthens himself, saying:
 
Faith grew in my mother's womb. A baby, I entered the door of
Dharma; A youth, I studied the Buddha's teaching; A man, I lived
alone in caves. Though demons, ghosts, and devils multiply, I am not afraid ....
I, Milarepa, fear neither demons nor evils; If they frightened
Milarepa, to what avail Would be his realization and enlightenment?
 
Then he invites the demons in to stay with him - symbolic of 'accepting' them, the beginning of compassion. In the article, the writer Judith Simmer-Brown says that this moment of invitation is important: instead of avoiding difficulties within our psyche, we profit by facing them and dealing with them.When Milarepa realises that the demons are projections in the world he creates and that they are not external to him but part of him, he can then 'look' at these parts to address them, rather than avoid them. And indeed he does 'look' at them, first challenging them to see who's way is stronger, the White or the Black, before boldly charging at them; they then dissolve, in fear. Milarepa has confronted his demons and won - moreover, he has settled for himself which way of living is superior - the Way of Light.
 
 
Our demons may be internal qualities, or they may appear to be outside of us, either way, this Buddhist story teaches us

• not to be afraid
• to see the perception of evil as arising from within oneself
• to accept the situation and deal with it
• to trust in goodness
• to confront darkness.

There are valuable lessons here. And it made me laugh that he couldn't get rid of them with any means he initially knew of!
 
Previously, I was confused by delusion, And staying in the dwelling

of ignorant confusion, I perceived gods who help and demons who harm as real.
Now, through the kindness of the jetsun siddha, I understand there
is no samsara to stop, no nirvana to accomplish. Whatever appears
arises as mahamudra.
With the realization that confusion is groundless, The water that
reflects the moon of awareness is clear of murkiness. The sun of
luminosity, free of clouds, Clears away the darkness of ignorance
from the edges. Deluded confusion disappears. The true nature arises from within.
The precious thought that perceives demons is the wonderful
clarifier of the unborn bias. 

Once Milarepa had gone beyond this state of awareness where he perceived evil, every moment that came to him he was able to accept and welcome.There was nothing to do, and he could be happy with all of Life. Perhaps Milarepa had gone beyond a sense of separation with the darkness, he had healed his relationship with it by not rejecting it (he invited the demons in); for how could he be whole, as someone who had once committed "black deeds" whilst he absolutely rejected evil, however pure he was in the present? There is a lesson of flexibility here. Being organic and not absolute, compassionate not judgemental. There is more humility in the purity that loves rather than judges; we must do what Jesus said, be humble in purity remembering that none is without sin, rather than "throw stones".
Being pure means healing ourselves and our perspective, rather than being closed off, separate, and living within a fixed boundary. Perhaps the sensation that there is something, an obstacle, that is very discordant in my awareness is a sign that I have been living with and making a painful judgement, which must be healed in order for there to be peace within me.
This whole syndrome of spiritual warfare could therefore be seen as a painful moment of personal growth and opportunity to take steps to move beyond polarity. Either that or live with a painful awareness forever! And I suppose it takes time, to gain the added understanding, the clarity that Milarepa mentions in his song above. Is that too ambitious? The whole thing has to progress somehow.
 
All this is a spiritual way of looking at being under the influence of hostile spirits or dark energies. It is based on unity, on a unifying perception, and it is based on the realisation that we are creative (receiving the exact nature of our Great Creator and calling reality to us in accordance with our mental activity). Also important is the respect we can have for ourselves and for all of life as being full of love and light, whatever the frightening outer appearances may be.

I rejoiced when I found this story because I identified with it. We can all be like Milarepa, and heal ourselves.

PS I found this article on Milarepa whilst investigating the integration of the shadow self. It was my idea that rather than heal all the lower astral world, I would heal the lower nature nature in myself. This article above, then, is especially interesting, as it shows interactions with the lower astral world as being a projection/extension of the self, and shows that resolution does not come by treating our stubborn demons as external beings, but by dealing with them as intrinsically linked to our mind and world-view. Rather than requiring a simple exorcism, we require careful self-analysis, and commitment to personal change. Christian demonology will examine a person's life and say, "why are you in this situation?" - and that is valid; perhaps the spirit oppression shows us that there are still unresolved areas at the edge of our consciousness that we had not quite been aware of, - perhaps we are being shown that there is another journey to be made towards psychic health, another story and adventure to undertake.

PPS It occurred to me that when Milarepa confronts the intrusive and ill-tempered spirits, he is expressing his strength, and asserting his right to his own space. Or symbolically, this means that really, love and light are more powerful than malice and fear. In the end, [according to Neale Donald Walsch's God], fear is in service of Love, and fear is ultimately an illusion. Comforting.
Secondly, going back to the point about being humble and not assuming a position of superiority based on one's level of evolution/based on right and wrong, the power struggle between Milarepa and the demons could be seen to be about dignity. They are angry, hostile; they cannot be pacified - there is a grudge between them. Only when they have been invited in can they be dealt with. Symbolically, whatever we do, we are still the same being doing it, we still have the same worth, whatever the appearance of matters - even demons deserve recognition.  This means that we cannot separate ourselves from ourselves in becoming and being pure, because there is continuity between the self that does the 'black deed' and the self that is pure (good, lightsome, godly, kind). The path of evolution requires total respect for all of Life, and we cannot proceed whilst carrying harsh opinions, because all is one. It's easy to be proud when in conflict with another, but humility is healing, - it brings peace.
Indeed, I did have a period growing up when I did things that were harmful. I still look back in a troubled way sometimes - I would benefit from looking at my personal growth and seeing who I was when all this began, and blessing my former self rather than cursing that self. It follows that the awareness of darkness cannot be healed with rejection.

Spiritual Safety And Well-Being

Look online and you find countless methods of self-care for the spiritually sensitive when you search for special terms like and .

Search online for books on and you will find many sources of information for those who wish to protect or defend themselves against subtle energy related causes of unhappiness.

Search online for spiritual healing practitioners, and you will call up a host of mediums, shamans and Reiki transmitters and others [of differing ability and even of differing honesty (- beware of dishonest people seeking to effectively rob you whilst smiling! May God bless them and be closely with them.) Still, it seems you can do very much yourself, on your own, with a program of daily spiritual self-care].


Recent books, fervent posts on spiritual well-being, ages-old traditions of healing spiritual relations. These are organised systems of belief... and although part of an 'alternative' culture, they will 'by and large' be put forth by people who can be certified sane.

1. There is a Deity, that is loving to all
2. There are guardians who can be called on to help bring spiritual well-being - celestial people, angels, departed loved ones, and even animals

Those who can heal us help us with any energies that affect us that are not moving very quickly, by nudging them into a lighter state, usually by working with a higher power, a stronger power of love and light. You or I can help ourselves through prayer and faith in those Higher Powers, we can even seek to commune with them, drawing them closely to us, until our vibration is faster and we are naturally free from spiritual causes of unhappiness.

Good luck is strong connection with those Higher Powers, and good luck is a habit of spiritual self-care; this is true for all people, but especially those who are sensitive to the subtle reality of Spirit. The rest of health is in being natural - in us being a friend and blessing, in us being happy, in maintaining good relations and in common sense.



So much for my ideas about spiritual health-and-happiness, gained from research and reflections on eleven and a half years of psychic disturbance. For real.

Night is setting in as I write this, and I can see half of the moon, bright in the clear sky.

Supplication says "I pray for you who read this; I wish all of you you all good".

Faith says "God is working miracles with us; even now we are knowing health-and-happiness."

Amen.

Demonology

Hello World, I have more to write.

I have sometimes called the spirits that bother me demons. Not the spirits that are around me on the Earth plane - these lost souls are properly called ghosts, or as I like to call them, to humanise them, ghost people, or discarnate earthbound spirit people. I have called them demons who are spirits existing in the etheric realm (not the astral, where properly housed spirits are), who choose to bother humanity (bother me).

Well it's time to rename these bothersome etheric realm spirits.

Naming them'demon' alienates, pushes away; this is not what love does. Love heals and embraces. These are the spirits of people - or the one that bothers me is anyway. In a universe of love, only love can heal, only love can restore order.

The etymological origin of the word 'demon' is linked with the Greek 'daimon', which means 'master'. This made me think, although the troublesome spirit cannot dominate the essence of me, which I believe is divine and free (same as anyone else's), the 'master' can teach us. What am I learning from the master?

I have also compared this spirit (and it's allies) to the Japanese 'stablemasters', the educators of the sumo wrestlers, who sometimes beat their proteges to harden them and prepare them for combat. So the stablemaster are like harsh but useful teachers.

Again, what do they teach me? In simple terms, the spirit is like a 'bully', but a more pronounced kind, who uses all means to injure, with focussed intent and maximum force, a bully who watches over the mind and exerts force directly upon it. What does anyone learn from being bullied?

One thing one may learn from being bullied is the pattern, the tone, the ins and outs of bullying... which one could apply to others - a soul tragedy to do so. Sometimes I worry that my identity is eroded by this bullying process - do I occasionally lose my temper too quickly, through having faced the feeling of being helpless too long? Am I becoming harsh and insensitive myself through receiving cruel treatment? Perhaps there may come a time when I wish to be a bully, and the universe may test my nature then. Better to be a hero than a bully.

To be honest I'm not exactly sure what I learn from all this.
I know I gain heroism, but it's not an especial quality of mine, it's human nature; still it's good.
I also develop compassion for my enemy. I suppose this is an example of it. If compassion is love and understanding, then this is an example of it - not wishing to demonise the enemy!! - But wishing to be on the same level as them to heal the energy between us.

In metaphysical writing it is said that once you understand what you are learning from a pattern of experience, then you can release it. There must be something major I am learning, but I do not have the awareness to clearly identify it, not yet I don't.

So I conclude by affirming the spiritual view, that there is a God, that people can be attuned to the spiritual, that we have a soul and that life persists after death, and that we always have the freedom to do what we wish - whether in this world or the next, and whether we wish to do harm or good. May you all be safe from spiritual harm; and if you are not safe from spiritual harm, may you find a refuge and a hero who can heal you.