Who Am I?

Who am I? This is not an existential question! Nor is it time for me to expose my identity.

I mean by this, who am I in daily life? If you met me, how would I appear?

Well, first, what do I say about myself?

I am calm, rational, and high-functioning. I am a creative person. I manage all my bills myself, all my shopping and cooking and cleaning. I am well-educated, even at my age of 29.

If you meet me I am very shy, and you may detect some unnaturalness in the way I speak, the way I order words. [I am shy because some of the spirits who influence me seek to project an aura of strong untrustworthiness through me, which makes me seem untrustworthy; other times I am shy because of the berating the spirits give me in trying to persuade me I am a person somehow of low worth]. I talk less than most other people.

I just think this is an interesting question, of who I am, because it fills out the picture presented by the blog here at "Diagnosis: schizophrenia!" It's important for me to tell you that I am, in my own opinion, a carefully reasoning, reflective individual.

If you met me, you would likely not have a clue of my condition - just unless you mentioned telepathy and malevolent spirits and suffering...


All I'm saying is that I have a problem with spirits - next to any schizophrenic symptoms I have had - a problem which some  Christian churches (in an un-politically correct fashion) call 'demonic infestation', or oppression. I have a problem with spirits. [And not spirits of the drinking kind].

There is a spiritual reality as well as a material reality.

We have each of us a soul and there is perseverance of the soul.

Some troubled souls cause trouble post-mortem.

Oh, and there is such a thing in Heaven called the Law of Non-Interference, so prayers for protection may well seem unanswered.

As time goes on I will become healthier and healthier, more rational, stronger, yet I can guarantee that this condition will be unchanged, until I can find someone to help me with it, because it is independent of my mental health. It is indeed an ongoing challenge to my mental health, making it hard for me to blossom again as an individual after my breakdown ten, yes, ten years ago.

I'm doing my best in this blog to put forth a persuasive account of my story. I hope it does persuade (that's not such an easy task, it's demanding, even if the theme of my plaint were different).

I sometimes wonder what it must be like not to be troubled, I was that person once, only dealing with the mundane, and fully operational, not incapacitated in anyway by the causes of pain I know today. So if you're reading this and you are well, thank your lucky stars, thank God, and go out and do something good, enjoy Life and spread happiness.