I have identified a couple of top flight healers in the UK, my country, who I hope can help me. Both the individuals I am thinking of seeing have connections to the Spirit Release Foundation (I thank God for the SRF!)
As a side note, I think that spirit release (a new name for exorcism) is a valuable thing, and it's something I 'd quite like to learn about and be involved in sometime in my life, because I feel for the discarnate people who wander about the Earth plane when they should be in the higher spiritual realms.
As I have written already, I am under frequent psychic attack. How else can I describe this? Mental intrusion, loss of spiritual power, harmful spiritual voyeurism, spiritual harassment. I know what Penelope must have felt like in the Odysseus, her home full of interlopers and her husband Odysseus away - for me it's like the soul part who is the master of its territory is away, and all manner of energy is playing around my awareness instead. The level of psychic battling can be horribly intense, or very wearying, and it all starts within moments of waking,and continues until I fall asleep - it's challenging. I have been wondering recently if it was always mean to be this way, if I had planned for this before incarnating, ie if this was predestined, supposed to happen. I actually prefer to think that it was not supposed to happen.
I read the other day "We have all played the victim and the villain in our cycling through Life-experience"; I have also read that calling ourselves victims takes away our power. Instead of thinking in terms of victim and villain, we are often encouraged by knowing souls to raise our awareness and think of others harming us as servants of our growth, and we can even express gratitude to them - obviously that's quite a high level of understanding, and good for you if you reach it, it must be a happy place when it comes naturally.
I have come to realise that friendly ghosts can really misbehave sometimes - one was calling me names the other day, so I have stopped thinking of him as a friend, but send love to him at a higher level; "friends are friendly", and he's not always that.
I am mediumistic (psychic) to such an extent that I can be influenced not just at a mental level but at a phsyical level as well; the on-off friendly discarnate person mentioned above can actually speak through me a little bit, his favourite word "Result!", said whenever there is some little success in my daily round. This is a benign-ish intrusion, but annoying ultimately, though he won't stop when asked. Maybe he needs to
do it to affirm his existence.
If I was more mediumistic I would be able to go into trance and 'channel' spirits, but it kind of leaks through, as I am at the moment. I often know my dad is near, because his laugh will come through me if there's something going on he finds funny.
There are two levels of disturbance, the local kind from discarnate people not ready to be in Heaven, and from spirits further away not local to the Earth plane. The local ones are mostly benign-ish, but the ones further away are fairly ruthlessly harmful, taking the opportunity to cut into my awareness and project powerful negativity. At preseent I avoid live performances, radio, TV, live music (even recorded), because it's like a magnet for this distant harmful disturbance.
There's a kind of permitted lawlessness in my world, whereby even these spiritual attacks on others are permitted by God and Heaven etc., and the negativity, let me assure you dear reader, is very strong, could not be stronger in its malevolence and will to cause distress. This can cause some despair, but then you have to think, "Well, there has to be some order here, even though I don't yet understand it; all must be well, still."
So what with intrusion, which is wearing, plus the erosion of well-being caused by insults and injuries by those spirits who are basically able to watch whatever goes through my mind... I get pretty well beaten, psychologically, experiencing suffering and duress and distraction from ordinary life ansd success.
But Oh! the alarm bell has just gone off...
The alarm that says "OK, I was with you for a while, but now you've lost me - there's no way this can be real." I felt that alarm go when I was writing how the spirits are able to survey my every thought and feeling. Actually it's what Heaven does all the time - they like to come and visit when we think of them, to be in the aura of our love for them and commune with us (emanating their own love presumably). All those who watch over us to guide us presumably also our inner world to take care of us. Same as God does. So how did this happen to me? Why am I like this?
There are people who are sensitive to the spiritual; there are those who are not sensitive to the spiritual (but may still believe and have an active 'spiritual life'). I was very rarely sensitive to the spiritual until I smoked cannabis. I believe this cannabis use caused a spiritual emergency, a sudden spiritual awakening that damage my aura. Instead of evolving a sensitivity to the spiritual at a natural pace, it happened all at once - and also at a time of great fear and inner turmoil (going through a schizophrenic breakdown). Yes, I say you can be schizophrenic and 'psychic'. And yes, I say that a negative condition of psychic, mediumistic awareness can imitate schizophrenic symptoms - that's what this blog and blogger attest to. Mine was a unique psychological make-up that permitted 1) a sensitizing to the spiritual with cannabis use (for which it is used in India by 'sadhus' and 2) a full schizophrenic breakdown and continuing delusions of grandeur and so on.
If I had gradually become more sensitive to the spiritual, I probably would not be writing this now, would not be troubled by the proximity and intrusions of ghosts, and would know nothing of the vast malevolence that haunts regions of the etheric realm. Mind you, and this I will mind too, because it is an important personal point, if I had not had a rapid awakening, I would not have passed-over (once-deceased) friends, I would not know God like I do and have a strong optimistic faith in the afterlife, I would not know about the spiritual guidance we all receive, I would never have had a vision of my guide, and I would not have educated myself in the esoteric as I have done (as much as anyone can in eight or nine years!) That's a long list, and it's one to be grateful for. I love my celestial friends; not only are they lots of fun, and supportive, but they are faithful, by my side every day. I have a small bagful of friendship with God, too, who as we all know can seem an elusive character, and this is something special. Spirituality brings happiness and strength too, powerful experiences.
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