Spiritual Attack

I would like to hear from anyone who experiences disharmonious relations with the World of Spirit, especially those who have no other mental health issues. Please share with me (and the other readers of this blog) a few words in the comment section at the bottom of this post.

Psychicness Good, Psychicness Bad

How much psychicness is good for you?


My opinion:

• In the average person, only a little psychicness is necessary.

It is good to be a little open, because we profit by psychicness:

• for intuition - the helpful 'gut feeling' or immediate impression of a situation;
• for insights and ideas that come from the Greater Universal Consciousness;
• sensing energies that help us form opinions about situations and be safe.

And of course, modified openness is preferable - ie you are open when you wish to be and closed when you wish to be, not exposed to the pollution and hostility that could enter your awareness psychically when open all the time. (Equally, I'd say many people know nothing of spiritual techniques of psychic self-care, and suffer because of it, whether it be nightmares, taking on others emotions towards them or constantly feeling subconscious anger about unresolved conflicts that physically passed long before).

Don't Stress On It: Metaphysics and Manifestation: Daring Religious Reflections

Don't Stress On It

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Metaphysics and Manifestation:

Imagine that we live in an endless 'soup' of possibilities that respond to our thoughts and feelings. Our thoughts and feelings give us a certain vibration that attracts back to us outside the mind a reality equivalent with the vibration our free minds emit. Experience is changeable and 'plastic'. When we purify our minds and marshal our thoughts, miracles happen.




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Causes

Yesterday I was wondering about the causes of my troubles - where the misfortune came from and why I am the subject of a spirit vendetta.

Then I came to the conclusion that I should not be overly concerned about causes. My mental scenario began before I learned of the spiritual teachings about manifestation, - that is, about personal creativity as an experiencing member of the Divine Body.
There are two principle modes of personal creation: unconscious direction of the manifestation of one's experience, and conscious manifestation of experience. Conscious manifestation requires the right understanding and the application of it through careful cultivation of one's mental self. There is much literature to be found detailing this process.

It requires clarity, passion, persistence and faith to manifest a desired condition purely from thought force. I have not done it yet, but see it as a worthy goal; Neale Donald Walsch's God implies that it is a major goal of life for an individual to know themselves as creative. [In my perspective, I agree, we can be creators; if you are wondering how it is that we have God's power, think about this: God made us, so we are divine because our origin is in God, though God is Divine (capital D, always having greater power and glory).]


My point here is that all the paranormal trouble began before I took care over every thought (a habit which manifests good fortune), so it's not something to worry about, all this is a consequence of normal ignorance, and ignorance of the importance of a mind of love, rather than a mind of fear or resentment.



Love

So many sources say that Life is all about Love.

- That can be a wildly different perspective to the perspective our culture may hold, at least commonly (religions often teach that Life is about love or righteousness - the good deed, the righteous deed, is full of love). The message of Love is the message that resounds within our hearts and brings us peace and comfort.



The New Testament of the followers of Jesus of Nazareth called the Messiah [full title!] says that

"Deus caritas est : et qui manet in caritate, in Deo manet, et Deus in eo;"

                          ...that is: "God is love: and who lives in Love, lives in God, and God lives in them." (Again, the implication is that love is 'Godliness', or 'righteousness').

Likewise, the New Testament says that "Perfect Love casteth out fear."


Neale Donald Walsch's God says Life as we know it is based around two polarities, Love and fear, of which fear is ultimately an illusion that permits Creation to be [Imagine! Fear is just an illusion! The implication of this is that truly, love is all there is and so everything is perfect], and that at the Highest level, all blends into One and there is only Love.
So when I was younger and unknowing and was very afraid or very unloving, I brought to myself a frightening reality and a reality without a strong awareness of love. And that's Okay. I was creating, I just didn't know it. Now I know it in fact, and seek to express in reality that fact, that I am made a creator, in God's image and likeness, sharing in God's power, living in Love, and living in God.

Shamanism: My Clarification

I wish to make the note that shamanism, where I mention it as being a source of help with spirit-originated mental disturbance, is a form of healing through mediation and interaction with the World of Spirit.

I'm not an expert on shamanism. I was spiritually told to seek shamanic help with my situation of painful thought disturbance. As I have encountered it in the UK, shamanism is about healing. However, I know in some parts of the world, shamanism extends into sorcery and psychic warfare between practitioners or individuals in the community.

I guess shamanism, for the spirits in Heaven, is supposed to be a benign thing that does not injure unnecessarily or override personal freedom on any level, a system of practice that heals and teaches and brings happiness, - a system of spiritual medicine of the Light and in service of the Light. That's the shamanism I'm referring to on this blog.

Uninitiated Use Of Entheogens and Hallucinogens And Mental Health

I just wrote in the previous post about being ignorant of the full effects of cannabis.

Cannabis does more than give you a pleasing mental sensation, it is a portal agent, it activates and opens the spiritual senses, it awakens soul awareness. Fine if you are a shaman; trouble if you are an unknowing teenager.

As the uninitiated user, you have no existing contact with guides and angels - those soul guardians who guide you through danger to well-being, - and also, not to mention the fact that your ego is unprepared for receiving numerous large spiritual gifts in the form of Divine communion, spiritual euphoria, infusion of understanding and other blessings. You know nothing of the quietness and peacefulness with which you must receive the new influx of energy coming to you, - you know nothing of the subsequent dangers of mental derangement that can follow.


I think the most important thing, in terms of a person's safety, drawing conclusions from my own experience is how spiritually orientated you are before you get into deep water (say, from using cannabis intensively)
An analogy: if someone leaves prison with no goals of how to rectify things and make a new life for themselves, they will likely quickly buckle to pressure and fall into criminality again. Similarly, if someone opens the doors of spiritual awareness, perhaps unaware of the fact, and without firm anchoring in contacts and connections in Heaven with the good spirits there, what will happen? - they will be subsumed and broken by the force of the energy that will come in first to them to fill any vacuums, they will walk straight into darkness and an overwhelming amount of psychic pollution.

The ongoing spiritual threats to one's personal health and safety come from not being securely anchored in contact with good spirits before taking in the shamanic 'entheogen' or hallucinogen in sufficient quantities to lead to a large change in awareness.

The threats to one's psychological health might come from being unprepared for spiritualisation and an upsurge of psychic energy when taking in the shamanic 'entheogne' or hallucinogen in sufficient quantities to lead to a large change in awareness.


Also these substances that transform awareness and spiritualise are likely solemnly venerated by those that use them ritually - it probably does not help matters that other cultures such as mine appropriate them and use them at will and without ceremony. This raises questions on the sacred and the profane, on defilement and violation.
I saw a shamanic healer who released a cannabis spirit entity from my aura, that I was holding captive - presumably a part of me formed during dependence on the plant's 'narcotic' effects. The healer told me the plant spirit was very angry with me, and that I was forbidden by it from taking in that narcotic substance ever again.
- We might not annoy spirits in Heaven by irreverent use of cannabis (but maybe we do), but it seems possible that we can annoy and injure the spirit of the plant itself. This serves to demonstrate that everything has consciousness at some level.
I wonder how much the cannabis plant is suffering in these times, due to dependence and use that in fact leads to a darkening of personal qualities through unconscious psychic opening and overshadowing.

As an example the Wikipedia page on Ayahuasca [Mighty Wikipedia! A frequent source of mine], found here, lists plants used in the Ayahuasca mixture, some of which are purposefully used for their protective qualities. For example:

• Shiwawaku bark: Brings purple medicine to the ceremony. Provides healing and protection.
• Camu camu Gigante: Head spirit comes in the form of a large dark skinned giant. He provides medicine and protection in the form of warding off dark and demonic spirits.
• Tamamuri: Head spirit looks like an old Asian warrior with a long white wispy beard. He carries a staff and manages thousands of spirits to protect the ceremony and send away energies that are purged from the participants.
• Uchu Sanango: Head of the sanango plants. Provides power, strength, and protection. Head doctor spirit is a grandfather with a long, gray-white beard.
• Huacapurana: Giant tree of the amazon with very hard bark. Its head spirits come in the form of Amazonian giants and provide a strong grounding presence in the ceremony.

I have boldened and underlined some key phrases in this list of some plants used in the Ayahuasca ceremony, which I found on Wikipedia. Notice the presence of giants and thousands of good spirits! Obviously the shamans involved will work with the strong good spirits of the plants used, and through the age of the tradition, will have built up a relationship with them. They are like energy forms associated with the ceremony that they call on. I read about someone who used morning glory, outside of its native tradition, and came into contact with the spiritual persona of the plant, who welcomed and blessed and healed her (but said also that the way in which she approached the plant before use, which was with reverence, was good, but could have been better). You have to be on the energetic and shamanic end of belief to buy into this if it is not your first hand experience.
The point is that the medicine men who use entheogens and hallucinogens take their spiritual safety very seriously, and work with powerful good spirits to perpetuate their well-being; they also use the substances solemnly and with reverence.


The use of these drugs requires a certain amount of caution to be safe, such as active relationship with celestial guardians, and management of the aura (grounding, 'shielding', and closing down). However, this is not to say that there wil always be risks. The damage done to a person's aura may be cumulative, as it seemed to be with me - for some years I occasionally used cannabis to the point of strong intoxication without spiritualisation or mental disturbance. The dual reputation of cannabis as variously recreational or reverend in nature, depending on one's culture, also attests to the idea that in reality, the drug is not always damaging to the mind. Similarly, people still find reason to argue over whether cannabis use can cause psychosis (not that I have any reason to argue about that, my experience was obvious).




So, in conclusion, please leave this page with the belief that there is reason to at least be cautious with drug use, and that some degree of intiation into the potential effects of some drugs is very important for those who choose to involve themselves with them.

Take Care

I read on the Wikipedia page for Shamanism (found here) that cannabis is used as a shamanic herb (to aid the practitioner in transcendence and spirit contact); it mentions use happens for this purpose in India. This compounded my opinion, and made me think: cannabis, the drug I over-used, - apparently triggering psychosis, and spiritual and psychic awakening, is used by shamans! This again confirmed my opinion that the drug spiritualises. It is not just a 'high', "the hysterical herb" (as it is sometimes known in the Middle East), it bears solemn gifts too. Gifts I was totally unaware of. It's a shamanic herb! It opens you up to the World of Spirit! Not a toy for teenagers, or people who use it dependently.

I suppose that you invite a channel of spiritual energy to open with intensive cannabis use, and for the initiated that energy is unexpected, has nowhere to go, is not integrated, and begins then to contribute to an unsettling of the mind, in fear and paranoia, acting toxically to lead to psychosis.

For me cannabis use for the uninitiated and the young is on the same level as the Ouija board, that spiritualists so often warn people against 'playing' with or using without care and precaution: both Ouija boards and cannabis are very magnetic to spirits, and open a portal to the World of Spirit, resulting in earthbound spirits attaching themselves and inviting disturbance from spirits of 'lower' awareness.


So, I know that cannabis spiritualises, from first hand. Spiritualisation, or spiritual awakening, comes with first hand experiences of Divinity, and with great religious fervour and moral renewal; spiritual awakening apparently also comes with psychic sensitivity, that permits connection and comunication with the Spiritual. I also know that Sadhus (holy men) in India use it to get closer to God. Now I also know that it is used by shamans to assist in their opening up to the World of Spirit - and this just confirms how powerful the herb is. Here I am lamenting my former ignorance of cannabis' solemn properties, source of so much pain and trouble, and am recording my surprise at the fact that cannabis is used as a shamanic aid to transcendence, and the latter fact just confirms why I got into trouble.

Near Death Experience Insights

There is a great website called www.Near-Death.com, where you can find compiled accounts of the afterlife experienced by certain people who have been clinically dead, left the body and gone to Heaven (or elsewhere) and then come back to their bodies and back to life on Earth, and told others about what they learned.

Reading this website I gained great comfort in my thinking about God and the afterlife and how God feels towards every one of us. People tend to come back with a message of comfort and love and joy.

PS Reading through the section "How To Escape From The Earthbound Realm", in the interest of helping earthbound spirits, on the webpage entitled "The NDE and Hell" (found here), I came across this statement by Near Death experiencer Dr George Ritchie:

"The living have auras of light surrounding their bodies. If the aura becomes distorted through alcohol or drugs, an earthbound soul can temporarily possess the body."

- This reminded me of my own situation, when my troubles began from using cannabis. As I have stated before, it hinders the aura, so that what is essentially an organ for downscaling the cosmic Light that allows the Light to bless and give to us, is disabled in its secondary function, its naturally ability to keep 'darkness' ('dark' intent, malice, ill will, psychic hostility)at bay. In my situation I was troubled by disturbance at the thought level by spirits of lower realms. [Take note of the page linked above, in the section "Negativity Must Be Removed To Enter Heaven", where Arthur Yensen writes, "After death, if a soul has been too bad, they go to a realm of lower vibrations where their kind of thoughts can live. If they entered heaven, they would be annihilated by the Master-Vibration of God."]

Also, I just read something on the same page (a page I have read and been back to a few times), that helps explain the psychology of the souls that do evil. Mellen-Thomas Benedict reports a revelation from God, that "What all people seek, what sustains them, is love...What distorts people is a lack of love." What distorts people is a lack of love. What takes a person directly to God after death is a strong awareness of love within them; what keeps them away from God after death is the antithesis of love, - whether fear and a weak awareness of love, or the fear and hostility that arise from having been distorted by a lack of love.
'Awareness of love' means how much you love and feel loved - many 'New Age' sources, as well as ND experiencers, say that love is actually the centre of Life, and the gains we make in Life are in the moments when we are loving. It figures that one's awareness of love is key for a successful transition after the moment of physical expiration.

So that's all, just wished to recommend a site, and make a note of the personal point about drugs affecting the aura and making me/anyone susceptible to telepathic disturbance by spirit-people who have a lesser awareness of love than those in Heaven; and the solution that the ND experiencers keep coming back to, is to hold an awareness of love to be safe from hostile spirit-people.

Spirit Attachment And Spirit Release: What Can Be Done?

I read about earthbound spirits on a website, where it was saying you don't necessarily need to go to someone to help you with the attachment. The article (read it here, and scroll down to the section entitled "Earthbound Spirits") seems to suggest that the spirits can be talked to and encouraged to cross over by you yourself, you don't need to go to a medium to do the same thing for you, usually - unless the spirits are unusually disturbed. The author uses the words 'unstable' and 'distraught' to describe some spirits who may need a degree of counselling before they move on to the Light. In other words, if, like me, your resident ghosts are reasonable and calm, you can try encouraging them verbally (and emotionally) to cross over to the next world. It seems that the principle barrier for earthbound souls between them and their deserved heaven is their emotions - first emotional release, then spirit release. The author says that most people make it over to the world of spirit on their own without a problem.


I spent hours last night looking for information on spirit release. Exactly how is it done?, I was wondering, and what can I do to help these souls, I asked myself impatiently, for want of help from others?

There are books by psychologists on techniques of spirit release involving hypnotherapy, which seem to extend to putting someone in a trance and giving the spirit-person in question the chance to voice their concerns and be counselled, so that they can loosen their attachments to Earth and move on.

There are books by mediums about spirit release, but with little information as to how you or I at home can do it for ourselves, - at least that's what the book reviews by ordinary people seemed to be saying.


I was angry and a little in despair at this.What do you do?

But there is information online, to this effect:

• Send them love
• Tell them to go to the light

The love strengthens and heals them, the direction to go to the Light is an encouragement and what they need to know and do.


You can see a medium, who works with people in spirit to help the earthbound people in spirit to get Home to where the Light is and where their family and friends are. I read on one site a medium saying you have to do this with a medium, it is not possible alone, but I don't exactly follow this, I prefer what the other person says as discussed above (the author of the article quoted at the top of this post is a professional psychic medium as well), which is that we ordinary people, without easy contact with guides and angels to help us can move the spirits on through our encouragement and forgiveness and love.

Essentially the earthbound spirit, through your help or through the help of a professional,

• gains the confidence to move on
• changes in what they feel, from a majority of fear-based emotion to a majority of love-based emotion, and peace, they become positive in outlook; it is an opening of the heart that the earthbound spirit-people will undergo
• releases attachment to Earth and its people, things and animals and opportunities for satisfaction, under the assurance that all good is in the Light, and that when they move on and cross over they will be whole and happy and provided for in every way (as if in a more perfect world, Heaven).

Lastly, you yourself will be no less whole when they are gone. It is probably best not 'converse' with them in an ordinary way, but to reduce communication and help them as described above (Send them love, direct them to go to the Light).


Don't forget, if you live in the UK (or the US?), you can always go to your local spiritualist church for advice on releasing spirits stuck near you - and that won't cost you any money.

Also, spirit release for some professionals who practice it and write about it, is a solemn process, because of the great importance and meaning of the release. It really is a great good deed, beyond words.

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I have just been looking at the Spirit Release Foundation website. They run training for people to become spirit release practitioners (click this link to go to their training information webpage). This is something I feel very interested in, as a good thing to be done for the world - and probably useful for my own well-being too; however I wouldn't wish to go to a course meeting until I am fully free of 'attachments', since I would have trouble concentrating, and it could be quite embarrassing if someone detects earthbound spirit presence around me!


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Just read through an article on the SRF website (linked here), written from quite a scientific perspective (probably interesting to my scientific readership), called "Spirit Attachment and Human Health", and this article shares information on spirit release techniques (which is ironic, since I've just complained about a lack of specific information on it on the web!) The article reminds me - you can also pray for relatives of the spirits stuck near you, (and their angels and guides) to come from the Light and guide their dear one Home. - I read that elsewhere as a techinique you or I can do.
 It has also occurred to me that prayer repeated at certain times every day (or at least with some regular frequency) will be enormously helpful in bringing a solution to become manifested.

I have prayed a few times for the spirit-people remaining near me, as follows:

God,

Please help these spirits to be Heavenly, so that they may experience Heaven wherever they are, until they are fully reunited with You in awareness.

Thank you, Amen.

The prayer for them to be Heavenly is a reference to their emotions, that they may feel all goodness in order to be  near God, wherever they are, and to bring them nearer to God at the same time so they can go Home more easily.

Good luck in your desire to be free and happy.

You can do something about it.

PS During this post, the earthbound spirit-person near me named Mohammad has been praising me ( - "Well done," he said, on two occasions, as I researched spirit release).

Healer Trip

Am having a crisis of confidence in the healer I have chosen to help me, (there will be a session next week).

Yes she is named as a top healer by a piece of publicity.

Yes she has trained in the shamanic tradition.


But is she a true shaman?

• Does she work with good spirit-people who can help heal my energy?
• Will she be powerful and effective enough to cause many positive changes for me?

I had been looking at a list of shamanic practitioners in the UK, and it made me compare her with them, to the effect that she seemed professionally weaker.
She is accredited by testimonials, she seems knowing and sincere, but I'm not sure I trust her methods, from what I read in an account of a session she did. We'll see.
I don't know, maybe she will turn out to be an extremely powerful personality, who can give me healing effects and not just a (quite expensive) healing routine. Trip all booked and paid for...

Spirit Attachment

So, I must have spirit attachments. that's what it means when you have earthbound spirits with you who go with you wherever you go and who 'live' (/squat) in your home with you.

We have:

• Mohammad; aged 37ish? on 'death', of Pakistani origin, I think, since he sounds just like someone I met in psychiatric hospital who was from Pakistan originally -presumably M chose to jump ship and come with me at the time, for his own reasons.
• Marjory; I think her name is Marjory - why not? That is the name I got when I mentally asked for it. She is quite elderly, usually a little stressed.
• [Young man, name unknown]; can be ornery (moody, rude).

The two Ms can more or less put words in my mouth, so I know what they are saying, kind of like a result of unskilled channelling. Mohammad's favourite words are "Result!" and "Jesus"... (used as interjections).


- Imagination? Or a spirit reality?


It's been two years like this. For some reason my awareness of them clarified at some stage. and I began to realise I had spirits ('ghosts') around me.

I don't know their stories, they don't tell me. I know Mohammad does not wish to be here 'forever'. He often used to say, emphatically, "We're real", just on it's own like that; maybe he is a siprit hero for raising my awareness.

They are highly conscious, the same as you or I - these are not spirit fragments or energetic imprints in a place.

In their point of view, they may be looking for somewhere energetically 'warm' to be near (ie me, an energetically more active person through being spiritually aware); for my point of view, these are not terribly disturbed souls causing havoc, but they are an intrusion at times... Sometimes we are both unwelcome to each other, by fact - they do not wish to be here (I presume), and I prefer to have privacy, like any one else.

I tell them, I am sensitive, not an exorcist, I don't know how to move them on to the Light. However, I read that as their attachment to the Earth and it's world of things and people fades, then if they turn their attention to God, they will find that the 'Light', the eternal presence of God, grows clearer, brighter, stronger and warmer, leading to their successful transcendence. But I'm not an exorcist, they are still here.


Spirits from the Heavens / angels haven't lead them Home yet, either.

Their attachment can be 'positive', in that they love Earthly things enough not to prefer to move on, or 'negative', in that they are afraid to move on, or it can be just that they don't know how to move on. Surely for someone helping a spirit, the merit must be very high. I mean, it's an extremely good deed.





I have seen one professional exorcist (who may or may not have been the real deal), one crystal healer, and two shamanic healers, all of whom have not been able to detect attached spirits. This is through their own inability, I believe; I think someone more in the spiritualist line of capability may be able to help me, someone clairvoyant and clairaudient enough to detect their presence - of which there are many such people.
I know this does not really stand in my favour as a testimony to the fact of spirit attachment, that they went undetected. the crystal healer for example only saw certain things in trance; one of the shamanic healers only told me in an overarching sort of way that I am strong enough to get my health/normality back.
However, I wouldn't be surprised if the spirits 'hide' from healers, through fear or unreadiness to move on.

I am at fault for not finding more help, but that's life - I mean, I have my own life to contend with, a hundred different things that need attending to, and the dripping tap of ghost presence, surprisingly, amidst serious serious psychic attack, depression, fatigue and daily requirements, gets a bit lost. You keep having to remember and remind yourself of what needs doing. "Terrible, you may think, he's living with ghosts, and not helping them" - well yes, I am, you get used to it, and in the overall scheme, a little more time earthbound doesn't seem to hurt anyone too much within that context, frankly.
I tell them "Very soon", they will be home. Next week I am seeing a healer, who may be able to help. I will keep looking as and when I can find someone and organise it.

I think the best piece of advice to give myself or someone in my position is to find a spiritualist church. I've tried this, so, addendum - find a spiritualist church that will help you. [Again, I had the "you're strong enough to rule your world and send anything away you don't want affecting you" line from the people I saw, when help would have been preferable.]


Three kinds of spiritual awareness, to reiterate:

1. Earthbound spirits around me 24/7 who I hear circumstantially and communicate with
2. Visiting friendly spirits from Heaven (Eg family), coming frequently every day, who I hear and communicate with
3. Sensing of spirits partially visiting, 'from above' causing mental disturbance (painful thought interference).

Apparently with spirit attachment, there's a danger of blending of personalities, so you become like them; there's a danger of addiction, so you/they don't want to let go. I can identify. When all this is over.. I don't know what it will be like to have peace and quiet, and privacy.



I'm getting angry again, writing this post! I have to remember the Light, which is all goodness, that we come from, and remember my mantra of compassion for these souls:

All souls go Home.

- I believe all souls find their way back to the Light, whether as a place, or as a condition of the heart (of the emotions, of morality). Hope.

Who To Go To For Mental Or Spiritual Problems

If you have mental problems, see a doctor and a psychiatrist.

If you have mental-spiritual problems, see a mental-spiritual health practitioner.

If you have problems with spiritual evil, seek spiritual defense and spiritual warriors.
[You may, like me, become a spiritual warrior yourself, although I am still in need of the helping attentions of someone stronger/healthier than I am]. - Telling point. In the material world, we are defended by the police and the 'armed forces'; when in need to be safe from spiritual evil, who do you go to? A priest? Yes, or someone trained in the shamanic tradition. ['Shaman' is becoming an over-used word on this blog, but 'shaman' is still a very important word here to pay attention to.] The 'shamanic' tradition is an ancient and diverse tradition found individually in societies all over the world, and it includes a tradition of spiritual awareness and mediation with the spirit world; be sure to look into this tradition for more information - as someone spiritual, with one foot in the waters already, it may interest you to study these old ways.




At present, in the UK, in the West, there probably are only very few people who are interested in holistic mental health care, - qualified as both a psychiatrist and spiritual mediator. These are at present incompatible realities, here. I guess the way it is at present is, if you are like me, you suffer until you find someone who can help and until you can find ways of helping yourself.

Terminology And Belief

Where do I begin? How do I describe things?

• "Health issues", "mental health issues"
• "A condition"
• "Diagnosed with schizophrenia"

I don't like to say I'm schizophrenic, partly because of the general connotations of unpleasantness and fear that the label may inspire; partly because I now believe I had a fairly short-term dug-induced psychosis that responded well to appropriate medication, and that I am now left experiencing a condition that may look like a psychiatric illness, while actually being a paranormal problem (though nonetheless distressing).

But how do you go about describing that? Recently I found that there was nothing I could say, beyond the intimation that I had had "an illness". The moment I start trying to put it into words, when I choose to reveal the situation, I enter into into what is essentially an argument about the paranormal - in a world not ready to believe in it.

• 'condition' not disorder
• psychic attack, spirit attack

I can't really talk about my condition to friends or the uninitiated; even a little discussion "wraps them up in a spider's web", strange and frightening ideation hard to believe. I'm left feeling a bit strange and unvalidated, - and sad, alone.

Of people who are not specialists in spiritual healing, I know of only one person who is willing to give me some credence - one person in the world who 'buys' what I'm trying to 'sell'. "I'm not sure whether there really is something real happening to you," he says, my Community Psychiatric Nurse - how mind-blowing that it would be someone in his position who was willing to believe me. He understands that my sensitivity yields both supportive comforting input (from the celestials), and destructive harmful input (from spirits of lesser light and happiness), and I suppose the fact that it is not all flat-out negative input that helps him believe - he has a 'spiritualist' bone in his (agnostic) body); his sister is an awakened individual in touch with her guides.
Another individual who believes me is the shamanic healer I saw who helped me feel healthy once; he affirmed that I am strong enough to 'reclaim my energetic space', and he didn't really go into lots of discussion  about what I said was happening to me, he merely agreed with me.

There is such a weight of belief against credence in the spiritual in the world today, in my part of the world. We have edged it out, disbelieved it and called it 'paranormal' (that is "outside of normal"). Perhaps this state of belief leads to repressed psychicness (that we call 'weirdness', instead of respecting psychicness when it is pronounced in someone); perhaps it also leads to problems with spirits, through our own ignorance, lack of initiation and inability to relate to the spirit world. - Who knows?

Yes it's a problem to deny our psychicness. But we do at least benefit from a lack of superstition, fear of the malus oculus (Latin) fear of the ophthalmos baskanos (Greek) - the "evil eye" - and so on. And we don't walk around daily in fear of witches and their ill-will.


So, thank you for your wisdom on some things, thank you for the medicine, but my part of the human community has large bare patches that could be more fertile (just as other parts of the global culture have wild parts of superstition that could be tamed and cut back); the definition of my condition is made difficult by my particular home area of the world's cultural awareness. There is near-blanket disbelief in Western psychiatry about spirit influence upon the mind, and this must be adversely affecting a lot of people who could otherwise be helped, or helped sooner (sooner than it takes a person to figure out themselves what's happening to them and go and find help independently of the medical system). I guess the state of medicine here makes me angry. The science-related level of spiritual awareness and willingness to believe here makes me angry.I'm a little angry writing this. But things may change, with the science side of things, the psychiatric sensitivity may change. Things do change.

Stats: Thank You For Reading

The blog stats up until today, posts read per country:

• United States 154 (ie 154 pages of the blog have been read by folks from the USA)
• United Kingdom 82
• China 25
• Russia 25
• Netherlands 24
• Latvia 21
• Indonesia 19
• Canada 18
• Yemen 17
• Japan 13

I am really proud of my readership, and very grateful to all who read my blog posts. God bless you!

Straight From The Horse's Mouth: On Spiritual Safety

Margaret West ends her post on spiritual possession (found at the Blog "Connecting With Spirit") in this way:

"It is important if we become awoken to spirit that we learn how to protect and shut ourselves down properly to avoid this conflict that might occur."

• She means by ' this conflict', "conflicted relations with the world of spirit"
• She means by 'awoken to spirit', "an important awakening that leaves us sensitive to spiritual phenomena".
• She means by 'protect and shut ourselves down properly', that we should take care of our auras. I read elsewhere that this is our side of the deal with Heaven for keeping us safe - if we look after our auras, they will do everything else possible to keep us safe. I have written elsewhere (the post "Spiritual Solutions To Attack: A Summary" of 23/11/2010) that we can protect ourselves by visualising ourselves filled with light (bright, healing light) and by closing down our auras after spiritual activity (closing the 'chakras'). There is much literature online giving instruction on how to look after your aura. It is a widely recommended practice for those who are spiritually awake or engaging in spiritual practices such as meditation. Time to get yourself an education if spiritual safety concerns you!

Three last things:

1. You have a 'biofield', an aura of energy around your body.
2. The aura is the interface operating when you are caused spiritual disturbance.
3. You can help yourself be happy and spiritually safe by managing the health of your aura with certain techniques.

A really good book on aura care is "Chakra Clearing: Awakening Your Spiritual Power To Know And Heal", by Doreen Virtue Ph.D.

An edition of this book comes with a CD with a guided chakra clearing process on it for morning and evening use, read by Dr. Virtue. The guided visualisation means you are walked through filling your chakras with light and closing them down appropriately at the end of the day. A highly recommended book on this subject!

Moving On: I Will Be Seeing A Trained Shamanic Healer. [Very Important Post! Read This Beauty...]

Next week I will be seeing a prestigious shamanka (female shaman) from London. Wish me luck! I will report back on the results; it's bound to bear fruit for me.

I am doing what I was told to do by the world of spirit - "Seek shamanic help", I was told when praying for help one day.


Traditionally, (according to Wikipedia), the shaman or shamanka is a healer and a mediator with the world of spirit.




PS I read yesterday that in the old days of the New Testament, the language for "oppressed by a devil" and "possessed by a devil" was the same - they used the same word for it, for someone sufficiently under the power of a malicious spirit to be oppressed by such a being. The sensation of control/possession is twofold: the feeling that the spirit has a 'lock' on me the way fighter planes can do with each other; the ability the spirits have to pressure my thinking one way or another. I wonder if the first control, the sense of being connected is to do with something happening outside the aura, like the spirit is influencing me through the aura; last night I projected my influence outside my aura space, banishing the spirit in the name of Jesus, and it seemed to clarify things, my mind felt noticeably lighter. Anyway, I'm sure this sounds confusing! I'm still just an amateur in my knowledge and special safety techniques. However I had read about overshadowing just prior to these new ideas on safety: is this a case of overshadowing that the spirit who is oppressing me can influence my thoughts? I had read, "Overshadowing is where spirit wrap themselves around the medium's aura in order to impress their thoughts and personality." (my underlining) [See Sarah Tyler-Walters' Website Voices of Spirit]. Usually this happens in a controlled way by experienced mediums surrendering themselves to the spirit world for a purpose, but what if it is a forced happening? The website says that such things cannot happen without permission, but I doubt this. Back to the safety tips, I had the sense that the top of my aura had some heaviness around it - heavy emotion and a heavy feeling too - is this how the spirit 'attacker' makes himself known? As I said, it seemed to work to direct flame-bright light in large quantities and use the name of Jesus to discourage the presence and influence of the spirit.

[↓Read This Bit ↓]

OMG Excuse me for 'shouting' and swearing at the same time, I have just found a blog entry at http://magsx.blogspot.com/ called Spiritual Possession that backs up what has been said here on this post and on this blog. Take note that she says people with schizophrenia were once thought to be possessed with a devil (ie also oppressed by 'devils', see above part of this Post Script).
First quote from her post:
"However I do need to add it is possible, to those who are spiritually aware, to experience a mild to quite severe spiritual attacks or unnerving experiences carried out on them by a spirit who is either cloaked in their own darkness (hell of their own making) or they are lost souls seeking help. These can be malignant spirit people and are often themselves in a confused and disturbed state of mind."
Second quote from her post:
"In the worst case scenario, vulnerable people can be over shadowed by a spirit person giving the feeling they are being Demonic Possessed, this is however very rare. Demonic possession to all intents and purposes is the ability for a bad spirit to have an effect on an individuals mind. This can vary from mild sensations to a spirit being able to over shadow to the extent of taking control of the mind for a time, but not the body."

Third quote from her post on afterlife transition and earthbound spirits:
"I know a lot of people believe that when you pass into the next world you go into a beautiful light. That is mostly true. But some don’t. Usually those who feel that they have unfinished business or are not at peace enough to let their earthly ties go. Sometimes spirit people get stranded because they died very traumatically and on a very rare occasion, they don’t fully realise that they have died."
These quotes were from Margaret West's blog; she is apparently a fully proficient psychic medium specialising in trance - someone who "knows"!

Phew. This is immensely important for me. I put into words what I think is happening to me and then find someone else's expert testimony supporting everything I've gone through. I left her this comment:

• Hi, You don't know how helpful that post was in validating my experience!
  
  I have had painful intrusion into my mind every day for ten years. I have come through schizophrenia after excessive use of cannabis and now am left with this remaining condition - that the doc calls psychosis (because he absolutely claims that there is no sixth sense).
  
  Thank you so much for this. You don't know what it means! I have written a hundred or so posts on my blog describing and defending what happens to me, as well as offering tips for anyone else in this "very rare" position you describe, of harmful overshadowing. I am seeing someone next week who may be able to help me (shamanic tradition).
  
  
  
  Thank you so much. I will be following your blog!
  
  
  
  Yours anonymously,
  
  
  
  Mr S
  

Wow. Thank you Margaret. That's Margaret West's Blog, Connecting With Spirit. Follow her blog!

Guess I officially have to look into 'overshadowing' now.





PPS I also read something which makes it look like I have been making a mistake in my terminology: that there is a difference in meaning between the terms 'psychic' and 'medium':

• a person who is psychic is sensitive to energies around people and places
• a person who is mediumistic can make contact with celestial beings at will for information.

I guess I'm between the two, being psychically sensitive and able to hear the voice of Heaven and spirits stuck on Earth, although I don't have full interaction with my guide so as to be able to get any information at will like TV mediums do.

Warning! Opinions On This Blog May Change

I notice that I have changed my mind over a few things.

• I have attributed a significant amount of the psychic attack I get to mortals - not true, there is not such a significant amount in fact, the problem is in the spirit world, and being out of harmony in general.
• 'Delusions of reference' style telepathy (sending thoughts etc to people on TV, in films; my current stance is that it is definitely something I go through as a sender, but not certainly something received. However I believe it is possible; I have seen others doing it! I have heard it happen!

I had a hard time defining the telepathy stuff when I was writing it down in an earlier post. I am aware of what it might sound like ('irrational') when I talk about being plagued buy the thoughts of living people on Earth, or bothering newsreaders and presenters with my thoughts.
Still, the rest is as it stands, unless I find anything else in the blog's older posts that needs changing.



This is still a blog about spirit-originated psychic attack/'demonic oppression', about the condition of spirit attack overlapping with schizophrenia, and establishing credence for the happening of the former despite the presence of the latter.

My Blogging: Enormity

I have come to realise that I write enormous posts sometimes! Really long ones! Sorry if this bothers you. I hope you don't get 'put off' by the length of them. There's still value in reading them through.

I guess I have started to bear this in mind, and when my blogging expertise picks up, I imagine I will write in smaller chunks for you!

Paranoid Symptom: Distrusting Others and Feeling Disliked

If you read my recent post called "A Spiritual Truth I Found That Helps Me Understand My History", you will have picked up that I experienced massive quantities of very fearful jealousy, conjuring worst case scenarios into my mind about my then-lover. You will also have read that in her heart she began to love another in the same way she had loved me, and colluded with another in secret; an irony.

This has brought back memories of another fearful delusion and scenario. The feeling you get when you have suspicions that all of the people around you - acquaintances, let's say - secretly do not like you. Do not like you at all. This is a disconcerting feeling, and a very toxic emotional 'environment' for the mind. For me this was a profound and strong feeling. Another irony - in reality it wasn't far from the truth that I was disliked. Acting very strangely, showing up to smoke cannabis but not contributing to the cost of it, isolating myself, and irritating people with my mistaken beliefs. Plus there were clear signs that they feared me, a combination of stereotyping and being afraid seeing me act strangely, not knowing what to do about that. It is not excessive to say that they would have talked conspiratorially about me behind my back, frightened by my illness, laughing perhaps, and disgusted or annoyed by my lack of communal spirit and generosity. So much for that. It's not an excessive idea at all, it's human nature, though not so much on its generous and strong side. These were people who didn't know me at all, and within two days, I was acting strangely, saying things in a  way that wasn't normal, making no sense. These people were mere acquaintances with whom I was an unwelcome but strangely tolerated guest. Once I was thrown out of a room, for talking about God in a strange and charismatic way, fresh from personal religious experiences and full of fervour - and slightly 'unhinged'. Another time, I may have been ignored by my group of associates when I came and knocked on the door to share their cannabis; (I don't know for sure - a gray area, and gray areas are always painful, they are where anxiety grows). Another time I was discluded from a room, on the grounds that the few people in there had serious private business to discuss.
But there were many, many times when we were together and I was kind-of accepted.
Once I was so much in a haze of awareness that I was anxiously trying - and failing  -to discern whether a computer game I was taking my turn to play with in the group was on 'Demo' mode or not - was it? where they playing a trick on me? I even voiced my concerns. That's being way out.
There was never any outright rejection, it was all in my mind. Or was it? Ironically, as I said, I seemed to be somewhat disliked, irritating to very many of them, and very often I sensed little love from them.

My first year at university, having a major schizophrenic breakdown, living in a student apartment block that was built with no aesthetic value [my father said it was 'Kafkaesque', after the bleak, bleak, empty industrial world Franz Kafka pictured in his writing] - and on top of all that using a great amount of a psychoactive drug (that requires a benign 'set and setting'), becoming totally withdrawn and receiving very little warmth of love from those I associated with.

PS In terms of 'set and setting', emotionally the equation "YOU + Psychoactive drug = Trouble," when you  do not feel loved by the people you are around. Esoterically speaking, energetically speaking, "You + Psychoactive drug = Big Trouble" when you feel unloved and anxious - it is dangerous and places you on a slippery slope.

I look back at all this with surprise, having forgotten how bad it was. I think I do a pretty good job of capturing the tone of the scene here. A fairly tragic episode in my life, just from the social aspect. And to think of all the good will I spent on them during my hallucinations!! No gratitude for the ways in which I saved the world for them!!
I had a waking sense of one of them, more of a friend, being killed treacherously - a display of evil. I had another drama play out in my mind of another person, also more of a friend (to my mind an angel on Earth, a friend and guardian) being killed fighting - although I tried to 'help' him from a distance, in my mind.

There were many 'deaths' in those few months. I have revealed some horrible ideas; I'm sorry for any distress caused; but maybe you can identify with what I went through, so much. But, and it's a big 'but', you 'wake' up from hallucination and it's not real anymore, just strange painful memories left - this is good fortune, that it is not objectively real. I could cycle away from home, think my father had been killed, go home and find him happily tending to the garden. [My father 'died' several times! Maybe that was why it was not so hard when he passed on for real, through already having gone through it and been well and truly burnt out in it. - That's worth another post, - my near-totally 'griefless' emotionality I have these days].

Look back a few paragraphs and you will see that I regarded at least a couple of those individuals as friends. they showed me some kindness and warmth, one helped to rescue me somewhat from the ongoing process of withdrawal, by talking to me in public as if there was nothing strange about me. In truth, I did receive kindness and respect here and there, and I'm grateful for it; but also there was dislike from some others; one person defended my honour once. There was community but also an empty space between people. I didn't connect with any of the others in a way that I would recognise as a close friendship that made me truly happy.

Think I am muddying the waters! Did they like me, or didn't they? Yes, no, no more than yes, and in my mind they often unsettlingly did not like me.
I've seen this paranoia, from cannabis use, twice. When I became jealous, that lover also synchronously became distrustful of me, distrusting my intentions at a basic level; it was clear to me that she did not feel psychologically safe, that she did not trust my intentions, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. That was hard. It was plainly written across her face. Speaking to her, her mind was flooded with fear, in small ways that I suppose she thought were hidden. She had just come from an intensely difficult relationship, and presumably she still bore some injury that turned into full-blown delusional distrust.
The second instance of this cannabis distrust that I have witnessed was when, years later, I felt drawn to take cannabis again, and did so on one occasion; the set and setting were wrong for my friend. For me I was able to detach from mental disturbance, and this was refreshing and relaxing. [I have to state that I will never take cannabis again]. My friend grow obviously anxious, and voiced concerns about not trusting someone who had come into the room. There was a busy party going on in her house, and the door to the room we were in was open! Not exactly conducive to a relaxing change in reality. I could tell - it was obvious - that she fundamentally distrusted the person who had come in, someone who appeared to all the world to be friendly, her familiar housemate. I recognised at once her thought processes from outward signs. She fundamentally distrusted this person's emotions, who as I said was showing friendliness. Rather, should I say, she distrusted the intention of the person, the intention behind their emotion. In short, she thought they were lying, deceiving her in their behaviours in the most sinister way. That's basically cannabis paranoia, and it is very unpleasant, distressing, and can be an ongoing condition of perception. You end up a nervous wreck from it, shaking in shock from the horror of the emotions apparently being expressed.

Terrible distrust. You need a hug. You need to lie down and have a good sleep, wake up and be taken care of, take a bath and be given breakfast and kissed simply on the side of your face, you need to be returned to healthy feeling.

Imagine not trusting ordinary love! How terrible. And wearing. A virus in your emotions, turning all the world into a foreign, dangerous place. Combine this with social withdrawal, and you get a flash of the reality of how the person with schizophrenia perceives in their waking reality, you begin to understand how a person can be closed down in fear to the world, become very 'shy' and reclusive, suffering phobic levels of discomfort near others. The feelings have had enough! They condition you to avoid society. After all, who needs that level of psychological battery? We don't prosper in unloving environments, it's not good for us. Like the (poor) monkey scientists removed from its mother in early infancy, that then grew up to be terribly anxious and fearful, - withdrawn. Love is good for us. Spread the love. Awaken hearts, awaken your hearts, help others keep their heads above water and not go through this, - it's good for everyone when one is saved.



(I repeat:)

Love is good for us. Spread the love. Awaken hearts, awaken your heart, help others keep their heads above water and not go through this, - it's good for everyone when one is saved.

New look Diagnosis: Schizophrenia!

I've just given the blog a makeover. Hope you like...

Comment if bright orange and pale green work for you or not... I think it's lively! Thank you blogger.com.

Imagination And Schizophrenia: Ideas and Reflections

Hallucinations are like the dreaming self impressing itself on the waking self. Or like the unconscious self trying to be born through the waking self all at once, becoming a tragic failed birth.

Delusions are like the logical mind being unravelled by the unconscious' power of imagination. Again, interference from the unconscious places the waking self in a world of magic, though one for which it is 'ill-fitted', unsuitable. 'Creative thinking' and 'creative thinking gone wrong' are here associated like genius and madness. (Creative thinking - thinking that is different, imaginative, daring, accepting of errors, and yet ordered; creative thinking gone wrong is similar but misses errors on a grand scale, for all its pretensions of genius and confidence.)

Strange behaviours in public occur through a displacement, the waking mind being forced out and breaking its boundaries, so that it shows itself naked, and frightening in its strangeness - the irrationality and lost consciousness of propriety are apparent. The subject's mind has 'gone to seed', run wild, lost all sense of reality as governed by responsibility and social learning: the subject is a free agent and the boundaries are broken so that behaviour is governed mostly by will alone. A kind of expression of withdrawal, these behaviours represent overt individuality and individuation; if there was more 'space' for the person's mind, the behaviours would never come to light, would pass by as unnoticed dreams; a manifestation of stress, therefore?, of the brain part of the organism not having enough 'space' to rest and relax and reorganise?
[My strange behaviours were done without awareness that they were strange, and they were based on delusion. I know what it's like to act strangely; I think that it is especially frightening to other people; it is madness very much on display, a seeming powerful, unpredictable and unlimited force.]

A Spiritual Truth I Found That Helps Me Understand My History

"Every tragedy of the human experience can be attributed to one human decision - the decision to withdraw from each other."

The above is a quote from Neale Donald Walsch I came across on the web - that's to say, it's very probably a quote from God, via Neale Donald Walsch, because that's what they do. Mr Walsch has shared his inspirations in the books Conversations With God (in three volumes) and in other books since they were published. these books are one of a kind; I found them deeply informative, and comforting, even amusing - they're great! But if you are new to these books, they will require you recalibrate your awareness of the Divine, because they are different to other sources of spiritual information. You will have to be more expansive in outlook, because the God that came to Neale Donald Walsch one night in conversation to help him is everybody's God, not the God of this or that religion. Recommended reading, just on a 'life' basis, rather than schizophrenia-basis, - but certainly the books Mr Walsch has produced will help everyone feel more comfortable.

So. What did you read all that for? Now to the real point of the post! Re-read the quotation. Tragedy in our lives is always due to one decision, that is the decision to withdraw from each other. Wow. this is an especially poignant idea for people with schizophrenia, for whom social withdrawal is a key element (though perhaps sidelined element) as people with health issues. It goes beyond health issues, it is a social issue. A person connecting is a happy person and an active person. A person who hides themselves does so because it makes loneliness easier, because of their pain. I know I have been accustomed to an inner alarm of pain and panic when outside the home or near strangers, even when near family friends. I liken the social side of my condition to the ability to fly: you get injured, you forget how to fly, and meanwhile all the confident fliers around you are wondering what's wrong with you. I'm sure you can identify with that, if you are reading from the perspective of someone with schizophrenia.

What's wrong with us, then? What is the key injury? Perhaps for everyone this serious root of all problems is different. Looking back, I was really helped by this spiritual or metaphysical truth quoted above. Question: as social beings, can a serious illness like schizophrenia be put down to the moment when we withdraw, or begin to withdraw from others? Looking back, I can remember the exact day when the illness and withdrawal began - that seems to corroborate the statement that heads this post.

I was thinking, well, the first person I withdrew from was my 'love' at the time, a person I was very close to, and the withdrawal was purely of speech, I stopped speaking and confiding. Then I went on to become very socially withdrawn, isolating myself physically; at this stage I had 'forgotten how to fly' socially - gone was any sense of affableness, that gels social gatherings, I was awkwardly on the sidelines, and strangely silent. Next was the internal withdrawal. I retreated into my mind, to the centre of a place of pain, having terrible hallucinations and comforting myself with the presence of something that ironically was also hurting me and was my downfall - the intoxicant cannabis.

Back to the first moments of withdrawal, we find one piece of a two piece puzzle, the second of which only becomes obvious in context.

My first sign of illness and withdrawal was this: I was with my love in her bedroom in a simple communal flat; we decide that I will go out to buy some Coca Cola and other items for a pleasant snack; a  man enters the room and converses with my love in a friendly way, he is very confident in a laidback way, and a single man; while I am away, the real love that dares not speak its name - jealousy- enters my mind, and in a powerful fearful way - is she being unfaithful right this minute with that man, who lives in her neighbouring room?

Jealousy and fear. Irrational. The tendency to be jealous must be a natural weakness of the human mind, in its irrational fear.

Wikipedia describes "morbid jealousy" or "delusional jealousy" as a disorder also nicknamed "Othello syndrome". Wow. I'd never seen this information until I just looked it up to double check that there is a syndrome of thinking called delusional jealousy. Phew. Thinking your lover is having illicit relations with others when going to a public toilet, out of the room, or spending time with your best friend; I even once spent a short time outside her flat watching to see if she would leave after me, late one night. Ironically, the delusions came true, she formed a deep emotional attachment to my best friend, and I discovered them embracing one night in secret - merely embracing, but illicitly. I tried to make her confess, sat her down made her write, tears were coming from her eyes. There was nothing really to confess; he was my faithful friend and would not cross a line - close as brothers, yet we broke off contact soon after. I was mad. mad with jealousy, sometimes utterly heart-rended. My later withdrawal could have been a kind of emotional exhaustion, from all this.

This delusional jealousy is a pitiful state, truly inhabiting the ghost of Othello in all its drama and tragedy. My downfall - delusional jealousy. But hold one, didn't we say that cannabis was my downfall? This is that other piece of the puzzle, clearly. Illness onset with intense use of cannabis, and proceeded to take root and grow through yet further intense use of the illegal drug. It can only be that prior to this initial experience of jealousy was a quiet unhinging of my mentality, a loosening of the screws that would deny me the capacity to limit and disregard jealous thinking, or allow me to be afraid of infidelity in that situation in the first place.

I suppose it is natural for love to trust, and very natural for strong love not to question, even when suspicious - thus I remained silent. And more and more silent, not expressing myself at all. That's a kind of silence, that once overt in tantrums-without-explanation, is very injurious,  that must have caused a pain of similar proportions in the one I loved. But really, this episode gave me peaks of emotion almost unrivalled, except by thinking my father had been murdered, later on during that initial full breakdown that was to come with further cannabis abuse and isolation. But I'm still here.

So what about withdrawal? It first came in the withdrawal of verbal communication in not expressing my fears, - the suspiciousness, the jealousy. It then came in the withdrawal of my social abilities, I suppose as I became different in my mind and lost normality; it was like I had lost all 'presence' all powerfulness when in a social scene - physically I was withdrawn, shoulders huddled up, looking down, looking around with shyness, not able to think fast enough to contribute speech to conversations - and interested in other things through delusion maybe, through new religious fervour that had spontaneously begun with cannabis use. Then finally I withdrew inside, pushed the boat out; now I was ready to not talk, to not talk to others in 'social' settings - and even not talk when spoken to. Later my silence would infuriate my father, who misunderstood it as an offense.

Love, innocence of danger, cannabis use, subtle derangement, delusional jealousy, SILENCE, withdrawal, full madness.

So perhaps, if the opposite of withdrawal is reunion, then, (for me at least), it begins with a word spoken, with the opening of my mouth spontaneously and bravely to speak in a friendly way.

Remember this: speak up! It's so important! Share your thoughts. It's OK. And forget about being afraid of how others might react.

If the tragedy is withdrawal, then the illness is repaired by speaking and establishing anew meaningful connections with others - which action can seem so hard to someone who has developed a vritual phobia of social contact (the alarm bell in the stomach that alerts to the presence of "people"). What about the internal aspect, the return to the world from within? It must begin with willingness and intent, a full, living and hearty desire to commune and be a member of the Whole in awareness (as well as in fact, which is unchanging), a desire that is fed by thoughts that recognise the Light in the world and the love in society (whatever the health of society might be today).

I guess that's all. And the motto is "Health in Unity" and "Happiness in Unity". Saints say the way to become close to God is to serve humanity, and it is said that we do not know ourselves until we interact with other beings. Not just mother, father, brother, sister; not just beloved dog, cat or horse, (angels though they are, with four feet). Love all people; there is Light within everyone (whatever they say). It's a Divine wish, a wish of God that we love one another, for we are all so special to God.

I read that the Universe reciprocates to this effect: feed others and you will be fed; so if you are 'hungry', Get Up And Feed Another! And be faithful that in that reunion you will find the meaning that restores happiness to you.

Wishing you readiness and willingness to enter into community again, for your full health and happiness,

Mr S

Cheeky Post. Appeal For Readership

The world has maxed out its cheeky points! It's time to get cheeky with the world!


OK, this is terrible. Here's a scholarly blog (albeit laced with outrageous-lookin' claims) - and my readership... could be higher. I'd really like it to be higher.

Where is everyone?

So tell a friend, people. Up my stats! So far, since the stat counter started working (sixth months ago, seven months after I started writing) the world wide webbers have clocked up 400 page views. Which I'm pleased with, but...

surely, this is a good blog! Worth more views!

Follow me; and check out more outrageous claims that way.

I can't believe it; this is a decent blog on schizophrenia!


                                                                                                                                          ok, end of rant

Solutions To Spiritual Attack: A Summary

This is a very important post for anyone experiencing unsettling psychic phenomena.

In this post I'd like to gather together some of the solutions that have emerged in the content of this blog.
Here they are:

1. Grounding: Just like in household electrical circuits, the human organism (including its spiritual nature, the 'biofield' or 'aura') sometimes benefits from shedding excess spiritual energy. This apparently is done through passing the excess energy down a special cord that extends from the base of the spine deep into the energetic fabric of the Earth. If we are not well-connected with the Earth we are not strong. There are many ways of grounding, from visualising the grounding cord being wide and extending deep into the Earth, to engaging in physical activities of various sorts, like running or walking or gardening. Think of how much the Earth gives you, and develop your relationship with the Earth. In my experience, the Earth is alive, just as some religions hold.
2. Mental Hygiene: think positive affirmations, pray, think about things that make you happy, laugh, focus your mind on things that make you happy and are good for the world and other beings, be spiritual, be religious, keep clear of harshness, cultivate kind thoughts and loving emotions and emotions of peace. Don't dwell on the thought of your misfortune in suffering - metaphysically-speaking, thought is magnetic. Be compassionate and forgiving to yourself and others when you encounter expressions of Life that you find are not wholesome. Wholesomeness is the way to health.
3. Auric Hygiene: mental hygiene will help you have auric health (a healthy aura). Active grounding will help you have auric health. So will good nutrition (good diet) - and good company and occupation (nothing too stressful, and nothing that is bad for the Whole of Life). Beyond that you can visualise spiritual light coming to you and filling your aura, lightening it and making it healthy. Golden light is very healing and 'transmutes' auric dirt and pollution. There are many recommended ways of cleansing the aura to be found online (and in books) - and you will find them if you use a search engine to look for information on psychic protection.
4. Shielding: Imagine that you are surrounded by a giant egg shell that has the broad end beneath you and the small end above your head, whose shell is about three or four feet away from your body; imagine that this shell is invisible and filled with the brightest light, brighter than a sunny and warm summer's day; imagine that the shell is quite tough and permits good energy to come through and is not present to other energy - no unwelcome energy can get in. Do this daily, twice in the beginning, morning and night, and then once a day after a few weeks of practise. 
5. Intention: Metaphysically speaking, your intention will determine your experience. As the Buddha said, wholesome mind bears good fruit. Be true and good, and you will come to 'good fortune', your experiences will be full of goodness. For more information on this kind of thinking read about "manifestation" or pick up a copy of "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne from your local library.
6. Outside Help: The local person who knows. The exorcist, the priest, the healer, the shaman. Failing that - if you can't find such a person - pray, and have faith. Like the great Padre Pio says, "Pray, hope, and don't worry". Pray for celestial guardians to come to you. Mine are deceased friends and relations, but they could be angels, or God or similar Beings of Light, of the Highest vibration in  the universe.
7. Medical Professionals: ...can help. They can help you sleep (with medicine), they can help you be happy (medicine, talking therapy) they can give you advice (eg to practise mindfulness meditation, to exercise, to eat well), they may well be able to help you with strong medication (to think clearly and be free from troubling perceptions), and they may help you be safe (by keeping you in hospital, watching you and looking after you). These people have good intentions, they are helpful, although they may not have any beliefs in the spiritual reality.
8. Rest: Remember, this will pass.
9. Hope: keep a gentle hope alive in your heart that change will come. Remember there is Light in the world.
10. Stay Positive: Have you heard of the positivist school of psychology? It's brilliant. It's a kind of thinking about life that says by focusing on the times when you are happy, by making good connections with the world (with people/animals) and being active you will be happy (and not sad all the time, ie depressed). Secondly, keep your heart open, don't let the ones that bully/torment/bother you become devils, be compassionate towards them; they are different beings, with God-given Freedom and Dignity (just like you); say a prayer everyday for them to be healed of their distress (the cause of their hostility).

Well that's all. I'm pleased with that list. What more do I have to write on this blog now? (!)


If you have good self-discipline, this list will be easy for you and will help you a lot; if you don't have good self-discipline, then this was the place on the Internet where you once read a list of ideas that would really help you...

Good luck!



Mr S

Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds

(Meds = medication)


This was originally going to be a blog about demedicating, about coming off the anti-psychotic major tranquillisers. I believe they are called major tranquillisers. They have been in the newspapers recently as the "chemical cosh" for the elderly demented, as actually causing damage to the brain. I read too that they chiefly serve as an emotional sedative - they dull your feelings; the writer described them as potentially a way of pacifying difficult people for the benefit and ease of society at large. What do I think? I am concerned by the thought of brain damage. I read too that not everyone needs them - some do fine without them, provided, the research said, that they had certain personal strengths before becoming ill, such as independence. Plus there's the 'can of worms' that is the fact that the scientists don't know the brain well at this stage in history and cannot say exactly how the medicine works anyway. Understanding is developing.

I would rather not take medicine.

I have had a setback recently. I have reduced, with medical consent, the dosage of the anti-psychotic, but find that I am 'sleeping round the clock'. The reduction and the sleeping seem to be related, and it's a fairly intolerable state. We'll see what the answer is; I'd rather not increase the dosage again.


I have had a period before, before diagnosis, of being untreated and ill, and things were not so bad. There were no major hallucinations, only some delusions persisting from my dramatic first breakdown. I had got ill from abusing the illegal drug cannabis - once I stopped taking it, I stopped getting hallucinations. Then I took medicine, upon being correctly diagnosed, and this cleared up my delusions relatively quickly. I feel that without medicine, I would be stable ( as I was then), I would feel better and be more alert, and be more creative (yes please), and I would sleep less, and eat less. I think it will surprise everyone in my family. They are doubtful of any of this - to an aggravating extent.

I have got to the stage that I can handle the 'symptoms' I still have well enough - God knows (excuse me), God knows the medicine has not changed the so-called magical persecutory syndrome I have; the medicine has never changed the mental sensations of intrusion and being harassed. I feel that I would be better off without the medicine.

Do I really need the medicine?
I had a problem two years ago. I gradually started to lose a sense of reality, had a breakdown from stress and stopped taking my anti-psychotic medicine and quickly became very ill. Does this mean that without the medicine I am very psychotic, or does it mean that the brain suddenly deprived of a strong medicine to which it has become accustomed rapidly turns psychotic in its activity? I think the latter, and according to one of my doctors, it's what happens when you suddenly stop taking the medicine. You feel great, healthy, happy, then soon decay into a psychotic break. I thought at the time that the medicine was bad for me - when they readministered it in psychiatric hospital, I noticed it caused an increase in distressing thoughts; whatever the truth of that is, the medicine was clearly becoming less effective, one way or another, whether being impeded through my increasing stress or on its own becoming toxic or less effective. Worryingly, it showed me that stress can bring me down - but that's the same for everyone. I am told that no medicine can prevent a break when it's from stress. So what would happen if I was off medicine and had a break from stress? I guess I would become delusional and have hallucinations. That's not good; but I would rather watch my stress levels and not take medicine, for the benefits of being medication-free and because of the health I believe I would have without the medicine.
Actually, my first breakdown happened from cannabis-overuse (and my natural 'allergy' to it); my second breakdown happened from stopping taking the medicine suddenly. Remember, I felt healthy at one stage in the process of stopping taking my medicine suddenly. These are both unusual events; unless I use cannabis again to that degree or stop taking the medicine suddenly, I presume I will be well.

Fortunately all this is my choice. No one is making me take the medicine, and the doctor has approved(grudgingly, but approved) my reduction and cessation of medication. I live in the UK, which, for all the bad press it gets for its foreign policy and actions abroad, is a country with integrity, where no one gets 'disappeared' by the government. There is no death penalty. This is a place that has respect for my human rights, that is leading civilisation in the right direction. I have a vote when it is election time. I have freedom of speech. And I have the right to live without medication for a diagnosed mental illness. Thank God; because I have come to a place of stability and intellectual lucidity that I think allows me to live without anti-psychotic medication.

I'm fairly sure I will continue to suffer without the medication, since there will still be the spiritual reality I deal with. Strange. However, it may well be that in time I reach a point of strength and control that heals my relation to the spiritual reality. Until then, as I said, I can cope with the condition I have. I certainly do not expect that the 'attacking' syndrome will get worse. I expect to feel more powerful as an individual through increased emotional range and depth, to be more normal in my social capacity through feeling more relaxed and having more 'fertility of thought'. These other changes will make life easier, just as they make it better.

A load of conjecture? I don't know for sure what will happen, but I've given an explanation, and I expect that I will remain stable and be happier, on the whole. There have been no mental changes so far, through a halving of the dose of medicine I was on. Let's hope it all works. There will be more updates as things progress.

Sharing In the Real World

:( My family are pitiful-skeptical towards a lot of what I report of my paranormality, I think quietly taking it as "real for me" but not objectively accurate. I know why - they have heard me speaking of delusions in the past, so much that they have been conditioned by it, - once bitten, twice shy.

So much for the :( part.

I would like to have a close friend / partner, but I am not ready yet on an intellectual level. It is not contained. I have not reached a satisfying level of clarity about things. Maybe I'm getting there! This posting here really helps. I feel if I tried to explain things, I'd fail, or confuse, or worse suck a person into a deluded, frightened state. Worse still, try and explain a paranormal spiritual reality to an atheist! ['Atheist' is not a swear word; it's just that they would think me wildly insane... Ha ha! That's an irony. And not a nice feeling.]

There are things then I can't talk about or can't explain, and there are barriers of understanding that would prevent a 'non-believer' from getting close to me.

Just like it would be an admirable stretch for an atheist to truly respect me, the potential friend would have to be big-hearted enough to respect some bearing the diagnosis of having schizophrenia - and to trust them too. there's that old stereotype/ conundrum that everyone who has schizophrenia is supposed to spend their free time sharpening axes for personal use... Sorry, that is an example of a bad joke, in fact, because people commit murders - (that doesn't stop it from being made into films and TV shows for our 'entertainment' though). Rewind: people with schizophrenia have an enormous public image problem, because they are thought to be firstly probably violent and as a close second, of course, potential murderers. And check the facts and you see that we are a less violent minority, that you have in illness as someone with schizophrenia the same propensity to violence as when you were healthy.
The special person therefore would have to have a compassionate, loving stance towards the person with schizophrenia, and understand that this is a person with a profound mental illness that causes them to suffer - just not to be unnecessarily afraid of them.

Let's hope.

Wishing you all good,


Mr S

Rubber Personality

"M a l l e a b l e" would perhaps be a better term than 'rubber', meaning 'easy to mould'. Some people are more suggestible than others - easier to convince, hypnotise, manipulate even; I'm one of them. On the paranormal side, this means I am very sensitive to energies.

I wrote about the need to feel 'in grace', and the feeling of not being in grace. Being in someone's bad books - so much so that it's a chronic problem, manifesting like depression. It's like expressing yourself through a cloud of smog - the real you doesn't get through. You may feel:

• silly
• annoying
• stupid
• down
• submissive
• small
• weak
• hyper

These are personality disturbances I get. I put it down to being 'connected' to people who think strongly about me in certain ways. In ways that are negative.

"I hate you"
- "You don't know me well enough to hate me."

Psychologists among the readership here will understand what's meant by holding an image of someone else that's not accurate, that says more about the first person than the other, that they even attack. I remind you of something you dislike, so you attack me. At the end of the day, you may think I'm different to you in a way that irritates you. In fact, you may be grossly mistaken. In fact, you may, through the metaphysical laws ("Where thought goes, there energy follows") be changing me, be moulding me, be turning me into your personal monster and punchbag.

An ungrounded person is more malleable. An unshielded person is more open to disturbance.

Guess I should ground more. Kneel down, close my eyes and touch the ground reverently, and wish my energy to unify with the earth.
Everyone has a 'grounding cord' coming from the base of their spine that acts as a spiritual overflow, going deep into the earth. Sometimes this cord is not well-grounded; it can be visualised as a six-foot wide 'tree trunk' touching the heartcore of Earth for better energy diffusion and well-being - this is a spiritual technique.

'Shielding' is the effect that comes from visualising your 'aura' as being full of light/Light. It has the natural effect of repelling dark spiritual influences.

My mind is open, not private, and there is an audience there who does not like me, does not trust me, and does not know me, and I find it hard to express my natural dignity and true nature because of that and because of the spiritual attacks I get injuring me and undermining my self-esteem.
The opinion held of me is similar to the thought-force that attacks me, since injuring my self-esteem will make me feel small and weak.
But I try and think good thoughts. The Buddha said that good intentions bear fruit eventually and transform circumstances/ fortune. (And likewise with unloving intention).

Ten years of daily psychic attack. I hope I may be out of it in another ten years. Out of personal verbal abuse, psychological injury and personality oppression.
I don't really remember so well what things were like before this phase of life. Disturbance to my health began when I was eighteen, I'm thirty now, I'm hoping to come through this - I gain mastery all the time, though as if from 'the other end of the rope' - at this end of the rope, there is no change, I am always the focus of the same amount of hostile mental intrusion. But I gradually become more myself, more sociable, more spiritually knowing, more clear in intellect, more able in the external world of actions.


Phew! So my point here is that the mind of thoughts, and personality, are linked and both subject to change - and 'oppression' through psychic influence. This is not just a condition afflicting the thinking life, it affects the expression of my nature through my personality as well.

PS I'd say that most people at present do not know me as I am. I think my dad would have got a shock when he came to visit me after he died and 'saw' who I really am inside. My true self is not introverted but more extraverted, is a fluent speaker (linked to confidence), and like a 'light entertainment TV host'! Maybe that's my future! Watch out for me! I have a hard time expressing that quick-witted, funny, talkative and agreeable side, but it's who I am, it's who I will evolve to reveal myself to be. That's good. I know what it's like to feel healthy. I once saw a shamanic healer who removed all mental duress and restored my feelings of ease and spaciousness and natural warmth of personality. Do you have a feel for who I am? Sadly, running for the bus afterwards, travelling on a busy train and talking to my mother on the phone, combined with a return to accustomed patterns of thinking outside the shaman's presence served to undo these immediate effects of the healing within the course of an afternoon. But I still had that! I still experienced feeling and being healthy in mind! What a miracle. I even heard his helper spirits during the healing (all shamans work with good spirits); they said to me "You who give, you will receive, you shall be well"; - I had been thinking about how I am always giving, primarily through my fending off of the mental influence of hostile spirit-people.

"You shall be well"

You have to remember to have hope sometimes; you have to remember the love of God, and the way it feels to be loved by God; you have to have hope.

Good luck, good health and happiness to you. Or should I say Grace, good vibes, and good spiritual relations to you. It's all about feeling grace and being in harmony with the rest of the cosmos - even with our own selves ultimately, probably.

Signing off,

Yours

Mr S

My Perspective: Why I Dissent

I read something yesterday that changed my point of view. That I could be trying to liberate rather than indoctrinate, to lead the reader to their own conclusions rather than impress my own upon them. In other words, I am writing very persuasively, when there is not so much need to do so.

Following on from this, I would like to write about my perspective. Would you like to know how I got where I am today, in my thinking about my experiences?

Why do I believe that a lot of my 'strange' experiences are actually real and not perceptual disturbances and hallucinations, as the doctors say?

The answers to that seem at first to be too simple. You start off in another world, when you become ill, and that's your perspective. I remember telling the doctor who first diagnosed me as paranoid schizophrenic about my world. It was what seemed real to me, it reflected the beliefs that I had developed and overlaid on normal reality, as experienced by the healthy. (But still, I say there must still  have been germs of the paranormal in what I was relating).

Then, as my awareness changed, cleared up and calmed down with use of suitable medicine, I found myself in a perceptual world with hallmarks of the paranormal. That's what it's like. And it's like being an amateur in that world. I educated myself, looking into crystal healing, flower essences, knowledge about the human aura, psychic protection, the afterlife, psychic empathy, etheric cords of attachment between people, near death experiences and information about those who dwell in realms of part ascension to the Light.

My experiences were not uncorroborated by schools of thought out there on planet Earth. There were many resonances, and much that informed and gave me hope.
The first big lead was reading a book by a psychologist doctor about psychic empathy [The Sensitive Person's Survival Guide by Kyra Mesich]. She had had convincing psychic experiences herself and found that flower essences remedied excessive sensitivity. (I tried them myself, with great hope - they didn't work for me, I presume because I am not very sensitive to vibrations of things, although I am very sensitive in other ways). Her book was about psychic empathic feeling, and it helped me believe that I was psychic. I rarely have empathic experiences, but telepathic experiences I have in abundance. Still the relief I felt when I identified myself as psychic was so strong I felt well for a short time - and (mistakenly) I thought I had recovered. I wrote to my parents about this, around St. George's day, to tell them about a 'miracle' that had happened - I was well again. Sadly, this was not the case. I now call it a breakthrough. I call any new surge of health, hope or understanding a breakthrough.

But, there is the sheer volume of intellectual corroboration for psychic experience out there. There is a vast community of people who seem to have open channels of spiritual communication, on many levels, and who contribute to continuing traditions of thought on the subject. Spiritual sight and hearing always were, and still are a religious fact, forming part of traditions all over the world. It's just that the dominant culture of the world passed into a 'scientific' phase of thinking that excludes the realm of spiritual belief, so much so that it became opposed to religion (in the nineteenth century) and now disregards psychic experience as a delusion.

So, if you had a religious upbringing like I did, you will have absorbed information about demonology (true!), in Christian scripture, for example. Jesus casting out spirits and demons from distressed and possessed people. That's one source of validation and corroboration.
Then, as I said there's the proposition by the spiritual communities (particularly New Age and clairvoyant communities), that mediumship, that is, the variety of 'psychic' faculties, are real. REAL!

Medical psychiatry being opposed to the existence of the sixth senses reminds me of the people who argue about the possibility of life on other planets, in our vast, vast universe.


So it's not like I was told I was deluded and then looked out and found nothing out there to convince me otherwise. I looked out suffering, looking for a way of alleviating that suffering, a way of changing (controlling) what was going on for me. I'll repeat: there is corroboration for my experience in the world. And lots of it. Lots.
Secondly, I am in this position: I have experienced profound mental illness, affecting my perception and thinking, and I claim also to have psychic experiences. If psychicness is possible, why couldn't I be psychic and ill, as it seems from my observation in psychiatric hospital, many people are. Is it so unlikely then that mentally ill people should be experiencing extra sensory perception dysfunctions as well? I mean that they may be sensing too much, for example, being bombarded by 'extra-sensory' reality?

But, after all this, even saying there is a spiritual dimension to reality, so far known beyond scientific measurement, known subjectively, and saying that incarnate beings can be sensitive to the spiritual and even communicate with beings in the spiritual but not the physical - after all this, still, how do I know that I am not hallucinating, that my extra-sensory perceptions are real?

It seems real. Occasionally there are little things. 'Hearing' an uncommon word out of the blue. Being 'given' forgotten information (being reminded of something). 'Hearing' someone's thoughts (and having what was heard confirmed as true). Feeling a spirit's touch (my departed father). Having a vision of God that removed fear. Ghosts saying and stressing "We're real".
But other than the occasional experiences that tend to reach out of the subjective towards situations that could be objectively convincing, it's just the realness of everything that goes on inside. The friendly chatting and joking with celestial friends-and-relations - and earthbound spirit-people (ghosts); the pain produced by mental harrassment by anonymous spirit-people of realms between earth and the classical Heavens.  These are realistic. I tend not to question them. Only sometimes does the weight of opinion against the reality of it make me think, well is this a hallucination? But then I quickly revert to my ongoing assumptions.

The last time I was ill, I was lucky enough to have an ongoing drama playing out in my mind where there was someone on the roof. I could hear their voice, but looking outside, it turned out there was no one there. I was hallucinating. The voices were coming from somewhere though. I might half suggest that sometimes the voices in breakdown come from lower spirits. And I also say that they could be hallucinated, unconsciously imagined. I can tell the difference between real and unreal voices because the unreal ones come during periods of breakdown and refer to subjects that are clearly unreal (there's no one there; robots fighting over a city; rooms thought occupied that are not).
Some people consider it a proof of reality that some of my voices are friendly, cooperative, and helpful. It's not all demonising. I might see a known holy person like Swami Yogananda appear (dimly) in the corner of the room and promise to help me by "warding off evil". It's almost as if there is a struggle between the Light and hostile spirits playing out in my life (!)


So, why do I not just listen to the doctor, take the medicine and consider all my strange inner goings-on as hallucinations?

1. There is corroboration for my reality in spiritual schools of thought in the world
2. It seems real.
3. Occasionally there are happenings that are more than subjectively convincing of their reality.

PS If I've made you afraid: It pays not to be in a panic about your spiritual well-being. Secondly, if you are not in a position where you are troubled by spirits, don't worry. Thirdly spirituality is usually safe, though in unusual circumstances people can enter into unwelcome situations through being too spiritually open and not grounded enough in physicality, and in their connection to the Earth. (I just remembered I need to ground! Ha ha. Simple solution shows its head again. I don't 'shield', I don't ground, I don't visualise closing my aura... I forget to do this, whilst advocating it! In truth visualisation feels blocked in me, it's hard. I guess you have to learn the hard way. For all my advice, I forget to do these important things. But my self-discipline is far from immaculate. I suppose what will happen is that my spiritual awareness comes under control... through being controlled!! By me! That is, I'll end up spending a little time and energy everyday looking after myself spiritually: Shield; Ground; Close Down. "Clunk, click, every trip!" Like seat belts! Like daily oral hygiene! Ah well. I feel foolish. Maybe my 'empty-handed' way has served a purpose...)

PPS Sometimes my perception is woolly, I admit it. I used to think I was experiencing massive psychic attack from earthly 'living' people. My awareness cleared up and now I know it comes from elsewhere, from an afterlife realm. Some of the telepathy stuff is hard to identify, too, like when you have the feeling you are consciously connecting  to a media personage - a classic psychotic symptom, right? (I get a wave of hostility projecting out of me very forcefully towards someone, like a guaranteed bring-them-down insult/attack, and I get a feeling of connection.) Who knows, maybe there are TV or film stars reading this trying to figure out why they have a hard time in the telly!
I once sensed a film star responding to a very ungrounded young man, whose presence I sensed watching him and wandering into that star's awareness; guess I'm a witness to this - he sent back the thought to him "I know you're afraid; but I have to act now". Now more than ever, with drug use, people in the media I think must get bombarded by telepathy of friendly, unfriendly,and over-friendly kinds. (There's a flower essence for this (!), to close you off from other's mind intrusions when performing- golden yarrow). I have been sat next to people who I figure must have the same 'abilities' as me, twice, who I instantly knew where sending their friendliness/overfriendliness to the person on screen; they had a look of focused concentration, and a kind of looseness too. Unbelievable? This I'm sure about, I'm just not yet sure how it is that one person can receive a thousand signals at once, statistically speaking. Maybe it truly is that only one or two tend to get through.
I got so concerned about the attack that I was unwillingly channelling that I took the personal decision to be responsible and avoid media with faces or voices; I did this for about a year, and I can now watch some films quite safely. It used to be that I was very sensitive to voices - if I turned the sounds off a soap opera, for example, I could watch it happily, otherwise, I would tend to feel like I was connecting, even doing harm.
This is so strange! The stuff you find on the Internet...
From the convincing to the unconvincing. Like I say, I come across as a normal person (though presently also a quiet person), - just don't ask me about telepathy and evil spirits...