Stats: Thank You For Reading

The blog stats up until today, posts read per country:

• United States 154 (ie 154 pages of the blog have been read by folks from the USA)
• United Kingdom 82
• China 25
• Russia 25
• Netherlands 24
• Latvia 21
• Indonesia 19
• Canada 18
• Yemen 17
• Japan 13

I am really proud of my readership, and very grateful to all who read my blog posts. God bless you!

Straight From The Horse's Mouth: On Spiritual Safety

Margaret West ends her post on spiritual possession (found at the Blog "Connecting With Spirit") in this way:

"It is important if we become awoken to spirit that we learn how to protect and shut ourselves down properly to avoid this conflict that might occur."

• She means by ' this conflict', "conflicted relations with the world of spirit"
• She means by 'awoken to spirit', "an important awakening that leaves us sensitive to spiritual phenomena".
• She means by 'protect and shut ourselves down properly', that we should take care of our auras. I read elsewhere that this is our side of the deal with Heaven for keeping us safe - if we look after our auras, they will do everything else possible to keep us safe. I have written elsewhere (the post "Spiritual Solutions To Attack: A Summary" of 23/11/2010) that we can protect ourselves by visualising ourselves filled with light (bright, healing light) and by closing down our auras after spiritual activity (closing the 'chakras'). There is much literature online giving instruction on how to look after your aura. It is a widely recommended practice for those who are spiritually awake or engaging in spiritual practices such as meditation. Time to get yourself an education if spiritual safety concerns you!

Three last things:

1. You have a 'biofield', an aura of energy around your body.
2. The aura is the interface operating when you are caused spiritual disturbance.
3. You can help yourself be happy and spiritually safe by managing the health of your aura with certain techniques.

A really good book on aura care is "Chakra Clearing: Awakening Your Spiritual Power To Know And Heal", by Doreen Virtue Ph.D.

An edition of this book comes with a CD with a guided chakra clearing process on it for morning and evening use, read by Dr. Virtue. The guided visualisation means you are walked through filling your chakras with light and closing them down appropriately at the end of the day. A highly recommended book on this subject!

Moving On: I Will Be Seeing A Trained Shamanic Healer. [Very Important Post! Read This Beauty...]

Next week I will be seeing a prestigious shamanka (female shaman) from London. Wish me luck! I will report back on the results; it's bound to bear fruit for me.

I am doing what I was told to do by the world of spirit - "Seek shamanic help", I was told when praying for help one day.


Traditionally, (according to Wikipedia), the shaman or shamanka is a healer and a mediator with the world of spirit.




PS I read yesterday that in the old days of the New Testament, the language for "oppressed by a devil" and "possessed by a devil" was the same - they used the same word for it, for someone sufficiently under the power of a malicious spirit to be oppressed by such a being. The sensation of control/possession is twofold: the feeling that the spirit has a 'lock' on me the way fighter planes can do with each other; the ability the spirits have to pressure my thinking one way or another. I wonder if the first control, the sense of being connected is to do with something happening outside the aura, like the spirit is influencing me through the aura; last night I projected my influence outside my aura space, banishing the spirit in the name of Jesus, and it seemed to clarify things, my mind felt noticeably lighter. Anyway, I'm sure this sounds confusing! I'm still just an amateur in my knowledge and special safety techniques. However I had read about overshadowing just prior to these new ideas on safety: is this a case of overshadowing that the spirit who is oppressing me can influence my thoughts? I had read, "Overshadowing is where spirit wrap themselves around the medium's aura in order to impress their thoughts and personality." (my underlining) [See Sarah Tyler-Walters' Website Voices of Spirit]. Usually this happens in a controlled way by experienced mediums surrendering themselves to the spirit world for a purpose, but what if it is a forced happening? The website says that such things cannot happen without permission, but I doubt this. Back to the safety tips, I had the sense that the top of my aura had some heaviness around it - heavy emotion and a heavy feeling too - is this how the spirit 'attacker' makes himself known? As I said, it seemed to work to direct flame-bright light in large quantities and use the name of Jesus to discourage the presence and influence of the spirit.

[↓Read This Bit ↓]

OMG Excuse me for 'shouting' and swearing at the same time, I have just found a blog entry at http://magsx.blogspot.com/ called Spiritual Possession that backs up what has been said here on this post and on this blog. Take note that she says people with schizophrenia were once thought to be possessed with a devil (ie also oppressed by 'devils', see above part of this Post Script).
First quote from her post:
"However I do need to add it is possible, to those who are spiritually aware, to experience a mild to quite severe spiritual attacks or unnerving experiences carried out on them by a spirit who is either cloaked in their own darkness (hell of their own making) or they are lost souls seeking help. These can be malignant spirit people and are often themselves in a confused and disturbed state of mind."
Second quote from her post:
"In the worst case scenario, vulnerable people can be over shadowed by a spirit person giving the feeling they are being Demonic Possessed, this is however very rare. Demonic possession to all intents and purposes is the ability for a bad spirit to have an effect on an individuals mind. This can vary from mild sensations to a spirit being able to over shadow to the extent of taking control of the mind for a time, but not the body."

Third quote from her post on afterlife transition and earthbound spirits:
"I know a lot of people believe that when you pass into the next world you go into a beautiful light. That is mostly true. But some don’t. Usually those who feel that they have unfinished business or are not at peace enough to let their earthly ties go. Sometimes spirit people get stranded because they died very traumatically and on a very rare occasion, they don’t fully realise that they have died."
These quotes were from Margaret West's blog; she is apparently a fully proficient psychic medium specialising in trance - someone who "knows"!

Phew. This is immensely important for me. I put into words what I think is happening to me and then find someone else's expert testimony supporting everything I've gone through. I left her this comment:

• Hi, You don't know how helpful that post was in validating my experience!
  
  I have had painful intrusion into my mind every day for ten years. I have come through schizophrenia after excessive use of cannabis and now am left with this remaining condition - that the doc calls psychosis (because he absolutely claims that there is no sixth sense).
  
  Thank you so much for this. You don't know what it means! I have written a hundred or so posts on my blog describing and defending what happens to me, as well as offering tips for anyone else in this "very rare" position you describe, of harmful overshadowing. I am seeing someone next week who may be able to help me (shamanic tradition).
  
  
  
  Thank you so much. I will be following your blog!
  
  
  
  Yours anonymously,
  
  
  
  Mr S
  

Wow. Thank you Margaret. That's Margaret West's Blog, Connecting With Spirit. Follow her blog!

Guess I officially have to look into 'overshadowing' now.





PPS I also read something which makes it look like I have been making a mistake in my terminology: that there is a difference in meaning between the terms 'psychic' and 'medium':

• a person who is psychic is sensitive to energies around people and places
• a person who is mediumistic can make contact with celestial beings at will for information.

I guess I'm between the two, being psychically sensitive and able to hear the voice of Heaven and spirits stuck on Earth, although I don't have full interaction with my guide so as to be able to get any information at will like TV mediums do.

Warning! Opinions On This Blog May Change

I notice that I have changed my mind over a few things.

• I have attributed a significant amount of the psychic attack I get to mortals - not true, there is not such a significant amount in fact, the problem is in the spirit world, and being out of harmony in general.
• 'Delusions of reference' style telepathy (sending thoughts etc to people on TV, in films; my current stance is that it is definitely something I go through as a sender, but not certainly something received. However I believe it is possible; I have seen others doing it! I have heard it happen!

I had a hard time defining the telepathy stuff when I was writing it down in an earlier post. I am aware of what it might sound like ('irrational') when I talk about being plagued buy the thoughts of living people on Earth, or bothering newsreaders and presenters with my thoughts.
Still, the rest is as it stands, unless I find anything else in the blog's older posts that needs changing.



This is still a blog about spirit-originated psychic attack/'demonic oppression', about the condition of spirit attack overlapping with schizophrenia, and establishing credence for the happening of the former despite the presence of the latter.

My Blogging: Enormity

I have come to realise that I write enormous posts sometimes! Really long ones! Sorry if this bothers you. I hope you don't get 'put off' by the length of them. There's still value in reading them through.

I guess I have started to bear this in mind, and when my blogging expertise picks up, I imagine I will write in smaller chunks for you!

Paranoid Symptom: Distrusting Others and Feeling Disliked

If you read my recent post called "A Spiritual Truth I Found That Helps Me Understand My History", you will have picked up that I experienced massive quantities of very fearful jealousy, conjuring worst case scenarios into my mind about my then-lover. You will also have read that in her heart she began to love another in the same way she had loved me, and colluded with another in secret; an irony.

This has brought back memories of another fearful delusion and scenario. The feeling you get when you have suspicions that all of the people around you - acquaintances, let's say - secretly do not like you. Do not like you at all. This is a disconcerting feeling, and a very toxic emotional 'environment' for the mind. For me this was a profound and strong feeling. Another irony - in reality it wasn't far from the truth that I was disliked. Acting very strangely, showing up to smoke cannabis but not contributing to the cost of it, isolating myself, and irritating people with my mistaken beliefs. Plus there were clear signs that they feared me, a combination of stereotyping and being afraid seeing me act strangely, not knowing what to do about that. It is not excessive to say that they would have talked conspiratorially about me behind my back, frightened by my illness, laughing perhaps, and disgusted or annoyed by my lack of communal spirit and generosity. So much for that. It's not an excessive idea at all, it's human nature, though not so much on its generous and strong side. These were people who didn't know me at all, and within two days, I was acting strangely, saying things in a  way that wasn't normal, making no sense. These people were mere acquaintances with whom I was an unwelcome but strangely tolerated guest. Once I was thrown out of a room, for talking about God in a strange and charismatic way, fresh from personal religious experiences and full of fervour - and slightly 'unhinged'. Another time, I may have been ignored by my group of associates when I came and knocked on the door to share their cannabis; (I don't know for sure - a gray area, and gray areas are always painful, they are where anxiety grows). Another time I was discluded from a room, on the grounds that the few people in there had serious private business to discuss.
But there were many, many times when we were together and I was kind-of accepted.
Once I was so much in a haze of awareness that I was anxiously trying - and failing  -to discern whether a computer game I was taking my turn to play with in the group was on 'Demo' mode or not - was it? where they playing a trick on me? I even voiced my concerns. That's being way out.
There was never any outright rejection, it was all in my mind. Or was it? Ironically, as I said, I seemed to be somewhat disliked, irritating to very many of them, and very often I sensed little love from them.

My first year at university, having a major schizophrenic breakdown, living in a student apartment block that was built with no aesthetic value [my father said it was 'Kafkaesque', after the bleak, bleak, empty industrial world Franz Kafka pictured in his writing] - and on top of all that using a great amount of a psychoactive drug (that requires a benign 'set and setting'), becoming totally withdrawn and receiving very little warmth of love from those I associated with.

PS In terms of 'set and setting', emotionally the equation "YOU + Psychoactive drug = Trouble," when you  do not feel loved by the people you are around. Esoterically speaking, energetically speaking, "You + Psychoactive drug = Big Trouble" when you feel unloved and anxious - it is dangerous and places you on a slippery slope.

I look back at all this with surprise, having forgotten how bad it was. I think I do a pretty good job of capturing the tone of the scene here. A fairly tragic episode in my life, just from the social aspect. And to think of all the good will I spent on them during my hallucinations!! No gratitude for the ways in which I saved the world for them!!
I had a waking sense of one of them, more of a friend, being killed treacherously - a display of evil. I had another drama play out in my mind of another person, also more of a friend (to my mind an angel on Earth, a friend and guardian) being killed fighting - although I tried to 'help' him from a distance, in my mind.

There were many 'deaths' in those few months. I have revealed some horrible ideas; I'm sorry for any distress caused; but maybe you can identify with what I went through, so much. But, and it's a big 'but', you 'wake' up from hallucination and it's not real anymore, just strange painful memories left - this is good fortune, that it is not objectively real. I could cycle away from home, think my father had been killed, go home and find him happily tending to the garden. [My father 'died' several times! Maybe that was why it was not so hard when he passed on for real, through already having gone through it and been well and truly burnt out in it. - That's worth another post, - my near-totally 'griefless' emotionality I have these days].

Look back a few paragraphs and you will see that I regarded at least a couple of those individuals as friends. they showed me some kindness and warmth, one helped to rescue me somewhat from the ongoing process of withdrawal, by talking to me in public as if there was nothing strange about me. In truth, I did receive kindness and respect here and there, and I'm grateful for it; but also there was dislike from some others; one person defended my honour once. There was community but also an empty space between people. I didn't connect with any of the others in a way that I would recognise as a close friendship that made me truly happy.

Think I am muddying the waters! Did they like me, or didn't they? Yes, no, no more than yes, and in my mind they often unsettlingly did not like me.
I've seen this paranoia, from cannabis use, twice. When I became jealous, that lover also synchronously became distrustful of me, distrusting my intentions at a basic level; it was clear to me that she did not feel psychologically safe, that she did not trust my intentions, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. That was hard. It was plainly written across her face. Speaking to her, her mind was flooded with fear, in small ways that I suppose she thought were hidden. She had just come from an intensely difficult relationship, and presumably she still bore some injury that turned into full-blown delusional distrust.
The second instance of this cannabis distrust that I have witnessed was when, years later, I felt drawn to take cannabis again, and did so on one occasion; the set and setting were wrong for my friend. For me I was able to detach from mental disturbance, and this was refreshing and relaxing. [I have to state that I will never take cannabis again]. My friend grow obviously anxious, and voiced concerns about not trusting someone who had come into the room. There was a busy party going on in her house, and the door to the room we were in was open! Not exactly conducive to a relaxing change in reality. I could tell - it was obvious - that she fundamentally distrusted the person who had come in, someone who appeared to all the world to be friendly, her familiar housemate. I recognised at once her thought processes from outward signs. She fundamentally distrusted this person's emotions, who as I said was showing friendliness. Rather, should I say, she distrusted the intention of the person, the intention behind their emotion. In short, she thought they were lying, deceiving her in their behaviours in the most sinister way. That's basically cannabis paranoia, and it is very unpleasant, distressing, and can be an ongoing condition of perception. You end up a nervous wreck from it, shaking in shock from the horror of the emotions apparently being expressed.

Terrible distrust. You need a hug. You need to lie down and have a good sleep, wake up and be taken care of, take a bath and be given breakfast and kissed simply on the side of your face, you need to be returned to healthy feeling.

Imagine not trusting ordinary love! How terrible. And wearing. A virus in your emotions, turning all the world into a foreign, dangerous place. Combine this with social withdrawal, and you get a flash of the reality of how the person with schizophrenia perceives in their waking reality, you begin to understand how a person can be closed down in fear to the world, become very 'shy' and reclusive, suffering phobic levels of discomfort near others. The feelings have had enough! They condition you to avoid society. After all, who needs that level of psychological battery? We don't prosper in unloving environments, it's not good for us. Like the (poor) monkey scientists removed from its mother in early infancy, that then grew up to be terribly anxious and fearful, - withdrawn. Love is good for us. Spread the love. Awaken hearts, awaken your hearts, help others keep their heads above water and not go through this, - it's good for everyone when one is saved.



(I repeat:)

Love is good for us. Spread the love. Awaken hearts, awaken your heart, help others keep their heads above water and not go through this, - it's good for everyone when one is saved.

New look Diagnosis: Schizophrenia!

I've just given the blog a makeover. Hope you like...

Comment if bright orange and pale green work for you or not... I think it's lively! Thank you blogger.com.

Imagination And Schizophrenia: Ideas and Reflections

Hallucinations are like the dreaming self impressing itself on the waking self. Or like the unconscious self trying to be born through the waking self all at once, becoming a tragic failed birth.

Delusions are like the logical mind being unravelled by the unconscious' power of imagination. Again, interference from the unconscious places the waking self in a world of magic, though one for which it is 'ill-fitted', unsuitable. 'Creative thinking' and 'creative thinking gone wrong' are here associated like genius and madness. (Creative thinking - thinking that is different, imaginative, daring, accepting of errors, and yet ordered; creative thinking gone wrong is similar but misses errors on a grand scale, for all its pretensions of genius and confidence.)

Strange behaviours in public occur through a displacement, the waking mind being forced out and breaking its boundaries, so that it shows itself naked, and frightening in its strangeness - the irrationality and lost consciousness of propriety are apparent. The subject's mind has 'gone to seed', run wild, lost all sense of reality as governed by responsibility and social learning: the subject is a free agent and the boundaries are broken so that behaviour is governed mostly by will alone. A kind of expression of withdrawal, these behaviours represent overt individuality and individuation; if there was more 'space' for the person's mind, the behaviours would never come to light, would pass by as unnoticed dreams; a manifestation of stress, therefore?, of the brain part of the organism not having enough 'space' to rest and relax and reorganise?
[My strange behaviours were done without awareness that they were strange, and they were based on delusion. I know what it's like to act strangely; I think that it is especially frightening to other people; it is madness very much on display, a seeming powerful, unpredictable and unlimited force.]

A Spiritual Truth I Found That Helps Me Understand My History

"Every tragedy of the human experience can be attributed to one human decision - the decision to withdraw from each other."

The above is a quote from Neale Donald Walsch I came across on the web - that's to say, it's very probably a quote from God, via Neale Donald Walsch, because that's what they do. Mr Walsch has shared his inspirations in the books Conversations With God (in three volumes) and in other books since they were published. these books are one of a kind; I found them deeply informative, and comforting, even amusing - they're great! But if you are new to these books, they will require you recalibrate your awareness of the Divine, because they are different to other sources of spiritual information. You will have to be more expansive in outlook, because the God that came to Neale Donald Walsch one night in conversation to help him is everybody's God, not the God of this or that religion. Recommended reading, just on a 'life' basis, rather than schizophrenia-basis, - but certainly the books Mr Walsch has produced will help everyone feel more comfortable.

So. What did you read all that for? Now to the real point of the post! Re-read the quotation. Tragedy in our lives is always due to one decision, that is the decision to withdraw from each other. Wow. this is an especially poignant idea for people with schizophrenia, for whom social withdrawal is a key element (though perhaps sidelined element) as people with health issues. It goes beyond health issues, it is a social issue. A person connecting is a happy person and an active person. A person who hides themselves does so because it makes loneliness easier, because of their pain. I know I have been accustomed to an inner alarm of pain and panic when outside the home or near strangers, even when near family friends. I liken the social side of my condition to the ability to fly: you get injured, you forget how to fly, and meanwhile all the confident fliers around you are wondering what's wrong with you. I'm sure you can identify with that, if you are reading from the perspective of someone with schizophrenia.

What's wrong with us, then? What is the key injury? Perhaps for everyone this serious root of all problems is different. Looking back, I was really helped by this spiritual or metaphysical truth quoted above. Question: as social beings, can a serious illness like schizophrenia be put down to the moment when we withdraw, or begin to withdraw from others? Looking back, I can remember the exact day when the illness and withdrawal began - that seems to corroborate the statement that heads this post.

I was thinking, well, the first person I withdrew from was my 'love' at the time, a person I was very close to, and the withdrawal was purely of speech, I stopped speaking and confiding. Then I went on to become very socially withdrawn, isolating myself physically; at this stage I had 'forgotten how to fly' socially - gone was any sense of affableness, that gels social gatherings, I was awkwardly on the sidelines, and strangely silent. Next was the internal withdrawal. I retreated into my mind, to the centre of a place of pain, having terrible hallucinations and comforting myself with the presence of something that ironically was also hurting me and was my downfall - the intoxicant cannabis.

Back to the first moments of withdrawal, we find one piece of a two piece puzzle, the second of which only becomes obvious in context.

My first sign of illness and withdrawal was this: I was with my love in her bedroom in a simple communal flat; we decide that I will go out to buy some Coca Cola and other items for a pleasant snack; a  man enters the room and converses with my love in a friendly way, he is very confident in a laidback way, and a single man; while I am away, the real love that dares not speak its name - jealousy- enters my mind, and in a powerful fearful way - is she being unfaithful right this minute with that man, who lives in her neighbouring room?

Jealousy and fear. Irrational. The tendency to be jealous must be a natural weakness of the human mind, in its irrational fear.

Wikipedia describes "morbid jealousy" or "delusional jealousy" as a disorder also nicknamed "Othello syndrome". Wow. I'd never seen this information until I just looked it up to double check that there is a syndrome of thinking called delusional jealousy. Phew. Thinking your lover is having illicit relations with others when going to a public toilet, out of the room, or spending time with your best friend; I even once spent a short time outside her flat watching to see if she would leave after me, late one night. Ironically, the delusions came true, she formed a deep emotional attachment to my best friend, and I discovered them embracing one night in secret - merely embracing, but illicitly. I tried to make her confess, sat her down made her write, tears were coming from her eyes. There was nothing really to confess; he was my faithful friend and would not cross a line - close as brothers, yet we broke off contact soon after. I was mad. mad with jealousy, sometimes utterly heart-rended. My later withdrawal could have been a kind of emotional exhaustion, from all this.

This delusional jealousy is a pitiful state, truly inhabiting the ghost of Othello in all its drama and tragedy. My downfall - delusional jealousy. But hold one, didn't we say that cannabis was my downfall? This is that other piece of the puzzle, clearly. Illness onset with intense use of cannabis, and proceeded to take root and grow through yet further intense use of the illegal drug. It can only be that prior to this initial experience of jealousy was a quiet unhinging of my mentality, a loosening of the screws that would deny me the capacity to limit and disregard jealous thinking, or allow me to be afraid of infidelity in that situation in the first place.

I suppose it is natural for love to trust, and very natural for strong love not to question, even when suspicious - thus I remained silent. And more and more silent, not expressing myself at all. That's a kind of silence, that once overt in tantrums-without-explanation, is very injurious,  that must have caused a pain of similar proportions in the one I loved. But really, this episode gave me peaks of emotion almost unrivalled, except by thinking my father had been murdered, later on during that initial full breakdown that was to come with further cannabis abuse and isolation. But I'm still here.

So what about withdrawal? It first came in the withdrawal of verbal communication in not expressing my fears, - the suspiciousness, the jealousy. It then came in the withdrawal of my social abilities, I suppose as I became different in my mind and lost normality; it was like I had lost all 'presence' all powerfulness when in a social scene - physically I was withdrawn, shoulders huddled up, looking down, looking around with shyness, not able to think fast enough to contribute speech to conversations - and interested in other things through delusion maybe, through new religious fervour that had spontaneously begun with cannabis use. Then finally I withdrew inside, pushed the boat out; now I was ready to not talk, to not talk to others in 'social' settings - and even not talk when spoken to. Later my silence would infuriate my father, who misunderstood it as an offense.

Love, innocence of danger, cannabis use, subtle derangement, delusional jealousy, SILENCE, withdrawal, full madness.

So perhaps, if the opposite of withdrawal is reunion, then, (for me at least), it begins with a word spoken, with the opening of my mouth spontaneously and bravely to speak in a friendly way.

Remember this: speak up! It's so important! Share your thoughts. It's OK. And forget about being afraid of how others might react.

If the tragedy is withdrawal, then the illness is repaired by speaking and establishing anew meaningful connections with others - which action can seem so hard to someone who has developed a vritual phobia of social contact (the alarm bell in the stomach that alerts to the presence of "people"). What about the internal aspect, the return to the world from within? It must begin with willingness and intent, a full, living and hearty desire to commune and be a member of the Whole in awareness (as well as in fact, which is unchanging), a desire that is fed by thoughts that recognise the Light in the world and the love in society (whatever the health of society might be today).

I guess that's all. And the motto is "Health in Unity" and "Happiness in Unity". Saints say the way to become close to God is to serve humanity, and it is said that we do not know ourselves until we interact with other beings. Not just mother, father, brother, sister; not just beloved dog, cat or horse, (angels though they are, with four feet). Love all people; there is Light within everyone (whatever they say). It's a Divine wish, a wish of God that we love one another, for we are all so special to God.

I read that the Universe reciprocates to this effect: feed others and you will be fed; so if you are 'hungry', Get Up And Feed Another! And be faithful that in that reunion you will find the meaning that restores happiness to you.

Wishing you readiness and willingness to enter into community again, for your full health and happiness,

Mr S

Cheeky Post. Appeal For Readership

The world has maxed out its cheeky points! It's time to get cheeky with the world!


OK, this is terrible. Here's a scholarly blog (albeit laced with outrageous-lookin' claims) - and my readership... could be higher. I'd really like it to be higher.

Where is everyone?

So tell a friend, people. Up my stats! So far, since the stat counter started working (sixth months ago, seven months after I started writing) the world wide webbers have clocked up 400 page views. Which I'm pleased with, but...

surely, this is a good blog! Worth more views!

Follow me; and check out more outrageous claims that way.

I can't believe it; this is a decent blog on schizophrenia!


                                                                                                                                          ok, end of rant

Solutions To Spiritual Attack: A Summary

This is a very important post for anyone experiencing unsettling psychic phenomena.

In this post I'd like to gather together some of the solutions that have emerged in the content of this blog.
Here they are:

1. Grounding: Just like in household electrical circuits, the human organism (including its spiritual nature, the 'biofield' or 'aura') sometimes benefits from shedding excess spiritual energy. This apparently is done through passing the excess energy down a special cord that extends from the base of the spine deep into the energetic fabric of the Earth. If we are not well-connected with the Earth we are not strong. There are many ways of grounding, from visualising the grounding cord being wide and extending deep into the Earth, to engaging in physical activities of various sorts, like running or walking or gardening. Think of how much the Earth gives you, and develop your relationship with the Earth. In my experience, the Earth is alive, just as some religions hold.
2. Mental Hygiene: think positive affirmations, pray, think about things that make you happy, laugh, focus your mind on things that make you happy and are good for the world and other beings, be spiritual, be religious, keep clear of harshness, cultivate kind thoughts and loving emotions and emotions of peace. Don't dwell on the thought of your misfortune in suffering - metaphysically-speaking, thought is magnetic. Be compassionate and forgiving to yourself and others when you encounter expressions of Life that you find are not wholesome. Wholesomeness is the way to health.
3. Auric Hygiene: mental hygiene will help you have auric health (a healthy aura). Active grounding will help you have auric health. So will good nutrition (good diet) - and good company and occupation (nothing too stressful, and nothing that is bad for the Whole of Life). Beyond that you can visualise spiritual light coming to you and filling your aura, lightening it and making it healthy. Golden light is very healing and 'transmutes' auric dirt and pollution. There are many recommended ways of cleansing the aura to be found online (and in books) - and you will find them if you use a search engine to look for information on psychic protection.
4. Shielding: Imagine that you are surrounded by a giant egg shell that has the broad end beneath you and the small end above your head, whose shell is about three or four feet away from your body; imagine that this shell is invisible and filled with the brightest light, brighter than a sunny and warm summer's day; imagine that the shell is quite tough and permits good energy to come through and is not present to other energy - no unwelcome energy can get in. Do this daily, twice in the beginning, morning and night, and then once a day after a few weeks of practise. 
5. Intention: Metaphysically speaking, your intention will determine your experience. As the Buddha said, wholesome mind bears good fruit. Be true and good, and you will come to 'good fortune', your experiences will be full of goodness. For more information on this kind of thinking read about "manifestation" or pick up a copy of "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne from your local library.
6. Outside Help: The local person who knows. The exorcist, the priest, the healer, the shaman. Failing that - if you can't find such a person - pray, and have faith. Like the great Padre Pio says, "Pray, hope, and don't worry". Pray for celestial guardians to come to you. Mine are deceased friends and relations, but they could be angels, or God or similar Beings of Light, of the Highest vibration in  the universe.
7. Medical Professionals: ...can help. They can help you sleep (with medicine), they can help you be happy (medicine, talking therapy) they can give you advice (eg to practise mindfulness meditation, to exercise, to eat well), they may well be able to help you with strong medication (to think clearly and be free from troubling perceptions), and they may help you be safe (by keeping you in hospital, watching you and looking after you). These people have good intentions, they are helpful, although they may not have any beliefs in the spiritual reality.
8. Rest: Remember, this will pass.
9. Hope: keep a gentle hope alive in your heart that change will come. Remember there is Light in the world.
10. Stay Positive: Have you heard of the positivist school of psychology? It's brilliant. It's a kind of thinking about life that says by focusing on the times when you are happy, by making good connections with the world (with people/animals) and being active you will be happy (and not sad all the time, ie depressed). Secondly, keep your heart open, don't let the ones that bully/torment/bother you become devils, be compassionate towards them; they are different beings, with God-given Freedom and Dignity (just like you); say a prayer everyday for them to be healed of their distress (the cause of their hostility).

Well that's all. I'm pleased with that list. What more do I have to write on this blog now? (!)


If you have good self-discipline, this list will be easy for you and will help you a lot; if you don't have good self-discipline, then this was the place on the Internet where you once read a list of ideas that would really help you...

Good luck!



Mr S

Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds Meds

(Meds = medication)


This was originally going to be a blog about demedicating, about coming off the anti-psychotic major tranquillisers. I believe they are called major tranquillisers. They have been in the newspapers recently as the "chemical cosh" for the elderly demented, as actually causing damage to the brain. I read too that they chiefly serve as an emotional sedative - they dull your feelings; the writer described them as potentially a way of pacifying difficult people for the benefit and ease of society at large. What do I think? I am concerned by the thought of brain damage. I read too that not everyone needs them - some do fine without them, provided, the research said, that they had certain personal strengths before becoming ill, such as independence. Plus there's the 'can of worms' that is the fact that the scientists don't know the brain well at this stage in history and cannot say exactly how the medicine works anyway. Understanding is developing.

I would rather not take medicine.

I have had a setback recently. I have reduced, with medical consent, the dosage of the anti-psychotic, but find that I am 'sleeping round the clock'. The reduction and the sleeping seem to be related, and it's a fairly intolerable state. We'll see what the answer is; I'd rather not increase the dosage again.


I have had a period before, before diagnosis, of being untreated and ill, and things were not so bad. There were no major hallucinations, only some delusions persisting from my dramatic first breakdown. I had got ill from abusing the illegal drug cannabis - once I stopped taking it, I stopped getting hallucinations. Then I took medicine, upon being correctly diagnosed, and this cleared up my delusions relatively quickly. I feel that without medicine, I would be stable ( as I was then), I would feel better and be more alert, and be more creative (yes please), and I would sleep less, and eat less. I think it will surprise everyone in my family. They are doubtful of any of this - to an aggravating extent.

I have got to the stage that I can handle the 'symptoms' I still have well enough - God knows (excuse me), God knows the medicine has not changed the so-called magical persecutory syndrome I have; the medicine has never changed the mental sensations of intrusion and being harassed. I feel that I would be better off without the medicine.

Do I really need the medicine?
I had a problem two years ago. I gradually started to lose a sense of reality, had a breakdown from stress and stopped taking my anti-psychotic medicine and quickly became very ill. Does this mean that without the medicine I am very psychotic, or does it mean that the brain suddenly deprived of a strong medicine to which it has become accustomed rapidly turns psychotic in its activity? I think the latter, and according to one of my doctors, it's what happens when you suddenly stop taking the medicine. You feel great, healthy, happy, then soon decay into a psychotic break. I thought at the time that the medicine was bad for me - when they readministered it in psychiatric hospital, I noticed it caused an increase in distressing thoughts; whatever the truth of that is, the medicine was clearly becoming less effective, one way or another, whether being impeded through my increasing stress or on its own becoming toxic or less effective. Worryingly, it showed me that stress can bring me down - but that's the same for everyone. I am told that no medicine can prevent a break when it's from stress. So what would happen if I was off medicine and had a break from stress? I guess I would become delusional and have hallucinations. That's not good; but I would rather watch my stress levels and not take medicine, for the benefits of being medication-free and because of the health I believe I would have without the medicine.
Actually, my first breakdown happened from cannabis-overuse (and my natural 'allergy' to it); my second breakdown happened from stopping taking the medicine suddenly. Remember, I felt healthy at one stage in the process of stopping taking my medicine suddenly. These are both unusual events; unless I use cannabis again to that degree or stop taking the medicine suddenly, I presume I will be well.

Fortunately all this is my choice. No one is making me take the medicine, and the doctor has approved(grudgingly, but approved) my reduction and cessation of medication. I live in the UK, which, for all the bad press it gets for its foreign policy and actions abroad, is a country with integrity, where no one gets 'disappeared' by the government. There is no death penalty. This is a place that has respect for my human rights, that is leading civilisation in the right direction. I have a vote when it is election time. I have freedom of speech. And I have the right to live without medication for a diagnosed mental illness. Thank God; because I have come to a place of stability and intellectual lucidity that I think allows me to live without anti-psychotic medication.

I'm fairly sure I will continue to suffer without the medication, since there will still be the spiritual reality I deal with. Strange. However, it may well be that in time I reach a point of strength and control that heals my relation to the spiritual reality. Until then, as I said, I can cope with the condition I have. I certainly do not expect that the 'attacking' syndrome will get worse. I expect to feel more powerful as an individual through increased emotional range and depth, to be more normal in my social capacity through feeling more relaxed and having more 'fertility of thought'. These other changes will make life easier, just as they make it better.

A load of conjecture? I don't know for sure what will happen, but I've given an explanation, and I expect that I will remain stable and be happier, on the whole. There have been no mental changes so far, through a halving of the dose of medicine I was on. Let's hope it all works. There will be more updates as things progress.

Sharing In the Real World

:( My family are pitiful-skeptical towards a lot of what I report of my paranormality, I think quietly taking it as "real for me" but not objectively accurate. I know why - they have heard me speaking of delusions in the past, so much that they have been conditioned by it, - once bitten, twice shy.

So much for the :( part.

I would like to have a close friend / partner, but I am not ready yet on an intellectual level. It is not contained. I have not reached a satisfying level of clarity about things. Maybe I'm getting there! This posting here really helps. I feel if I tried to explain things, I'd fail, or confuse, or worse suck a person into a deluded, frightened state. Worse still, try and explain a paranormal spiritual reality to an atheist! ['Atheist' is not a swear word; it's just that they would think me wildly insane... Ha ha! That's an irony. And not a nice feeling.]

There are things then I can't talk about or can't explain, and there are barriers of understanding that would prevent a 'non-believer' from getting close to me.

Just like it would be an admirable stretch for an atheist to truly respect me, the potential friend would have to be big-hearted enough to respect some bearing the diagnosis of having schizophrenia - and to trust them too. there's that old stereotype/ conundrum that everyone who has schizophrenia is supposed to spend their free time sharpening axes for personal use... Sorry, that is an example of a bad joke, in fact, because people commit murders - (that doesn't stop it from being made into films and TV shows for our 'entertainment' though). Rewind: people with schizophrenia have an enormous public image problem, because they are thought to be firstly probably violent and as a close second, of course, potential murderers. And check the facts and you see that we are a less violent minority, that you have in illness as someone with schizophrenia the same propensity to violence as when you were healthy.
The special person therefore would have to have a compassionate, loving stance towards the person with schizophrenia, and understand that this is a person with a profound mental illness that causes them to suffer - just not to be unnecessarily afraid of them.

Let's hope.

Wishing you all good,


Mr S

Rubber Personality

"M a l l e a b l e" would perhaps be a better term than 'rubber', meaning 'easy to mould'. Some people are more suggestible than others - easier to convince, hypnotise, manipulate even; I'm one of them. On the paranormal side, this means I am very sensitive to energies.

I wrote about the need to feel 'in grace', and the feeling of not being in grace. Being in someone's bad books - so much so that it's a chronic problem, manifesting like depression. It's like expressing yourself through a cloud of smog - the real you doesn't get through. You may feel:

• silly
• annoying
• stupid
• down
• submissive
• small
• weak
• hyper

These are personality disturbances I get. I put it down to being 'connected' to people who think strongly about me in certain ways. In ways that are negative.

"I hate you"
- "You don't know me well enough to hate me."

Psychologists among the readership here will understand what's meant by holding an image of someone else that's not accurate, that says more about the first person than the other, that they even attack. I remind you of something you dislike, so you attack me. At the end of the day, you may think I'm different to you in a way that irritates you. In fact, you may be grossly mistaken. In fact, you may, through the metaphysical laws ("Where thought goes, there energy follows") be changing me, be moulding me, be turning me into your personal monster and punchbag.

An ungrounded person is more malleable. An unshielded person is more open to disturbance.

Guess I should ground more. Kneel down, close my eyes and touch the ground reverently, and wish my energy to unify with the earth.
Everyone has a 'grounding cord' coming from the base of their spine that acts as a spiritual overflow, going deep into the earth. Sometimes this cord is not well-grounded; it can be visualised as a six-foot wide 'tree trunk' touching the heartcore of Earth for better energy diffusion and well-being - this is a spiritual technique.

'Shielding' is the effect that comes from visualising your 'aura' as being full of light/Light. It has the natural effect of repelling dark spiritual influences.

My mind is open, not private, and there is an audience there who does not like me, does not trust me, and does not know me, and I find it hard to express my natural dignity and true nature because of that and because of the spiritual attacks I get injuring me and undermining my self-esteem.
The opinion held of me is similar to the thought-force that attacks me, since injuring my self-esteem will make me feel small and weak.
But I try and think good thoughts. The Buddha said that good intentions bear fruit eventually and transform circumstances/ fortune. (And likewise with unloving intention).

Ten years of daily psychic attack. I hope I may be out of it in another ten years. Out of personal verbal abuse, psychological injury and personality oppression.
I don't really remember so well what things were like before this phase of life. Disturbance to my health began when I was eighteen, I'm thirty now, I'm hoping to come through this - I gain mastery all the time, though as if from 'the other end of the rope' - at this end of the rope, there is no change, I am always the focus of the same amount of hostile mental intrusion. But I gradually become more myself, more sociable, more spiritually knowing, more clear in intellect, more able in the external world of actions.


Phew! So my point here is that the mind of thoughts, and personality, are linked and both subject to change - and 'oppression' through psychic influence. This is not just a condition afflicting the thinking life, it affects the expression of my nature through my personality as well.

PS I'd say that most people at present do not know me as I am. I think my dad would have got a shock when he came to visit me after he died and 'saw' who I really am inside. My true self is not introverted but more extraverted, is a fluent speaker (linked to confidence), and like a 'light entertainment TV host'! Maybe that's my future! Watch out for me! I have a hard time expressing that quick-witted, funny, talkative and agreeable side, but it's who I am, it's who I will evolve to reveal myself to be. That's good. I know what it's like to feel healthy. I once saw a shamanic healer who removed all mental duress and restored my feelings of ease and spaciousness and natural warmth of personality. Do you have a feel for who I am? Sadly, running for the bus afterwards, travelling on a busy train and talking to my mother on the phone, combined with a return to accustomed patterns of thinking outside the shaman's presence served to undo these immediate effects of the healing within the course of an afternoon. But I still had that! I still experienced feeling and being healthy in mind! What a miracle. I even heard his helper spirits during the healing (all shamans work with good spirits); they said to me "You who give, you will receive, you shall be well"; - I had been thinking about how I am always giving, primarily through my fending off of the mental influence of hostile spirit-people.

"You shall be well"

You have to remember to have hope sometimes; you have to remember the love of God, and the way it feels to be loved by God; you have to have hope.

Good luck, good health and happiness to you. Or should I say Grace, good vibes, and good spiritual relations to you. It's all about feeling grace and being in harmony with the rest of the cosmos - even with our own selves ultimately, probably.

Signing off,

Yours

Mr S

My Perspective: Why I Dissent

I read something yesterday that changed my point of view. That I could be trying to liberate rather than indoctrinate, to lead the reader to their own conclusions rather than impress my own upon them. In other words, I am writing very persuasively, when there is not so much need to do so.

Following on from this, I would like to write about my perspective. Would you like to know how I got where I am today, in my thinking about my experiences?

Why do I believe that a lot of my 'strange' experiences are actually real and not perceptual disturbances and hallucinations, as the doctors say?

The answers to that seem at first to be too simple. You start off in another world, when you become ill, and that's your perspective. I remember telling the doctor who first diagnosed me as paranoid schizophrenic about my world. It was what seemed real to me, it reflected the beliefs that I had developed and overlaid on normal reality, as experienced by the healthy. (But still, I say there must still  have been germs of the paranormal in what I was relating).

Then, as my awareness changed, cleared up and calmed down with use of suitable medicine, I found myself in a perceptual world with hallmarks of the paranormal. That's what it's like. And it's like being an amateur in that world. I educated myself, looking into crystal healing, flower essences, knowledge about the human aura, psychic protection, the afterlife, psychic empathy, etheric cords of attachment between people, near death experiences and information about those who dwell in realms of part ascension to the Light.

My experiences were not uncorroborated by schools of thought out there on planet Earth. There were many resonances, and much that informed and gave me hope.
The first big lead was reading a book by a psychologist doctor about psychic empathy [The Sensitive Person's Survival Guide by Kyra Mesich]. She had had convincing psychic experiences herself and found that flower essences remedied excessive sensitivity. (I tried them myself, with great hope - they didn't work for me, I presume because I am not very sensitive to vibrations of things, although I am very sensitive in other ways). Her book was about psychic empathic feeling, and it helped me believe that I was psychic. I rarely have empathic experiences, but telepathic experiences I have in abundance. Still the relief I felt when I identified myself as psychic was so strong I felt well for a short time - and (mistakenly) I thought I had recovered. I wrote to my parents about this, around St. George's day, to tell them about a 'miracle' that had happened - I was well again. Sadly, this was not the case. I now call it a breakthrough. I call any new surge of health, hope or understanding a breakthrough.

But, there is the sheer volume of intellectual corroboration for psychic experience out there. There is a vast community of people who seem to have open channels of spiritual communication, on many levels, and who contribute to continuing traditions of thought on the subject. Spiritual sight and hearing always were, and still are a religious fact, forming part of traditions all over the world. It's just that the dominant culture of the world passed into a 'scientific' phase of thinking that excludes the realm of spiritual belief, so much so that it became opposed to religion (in the nineteenth century) and now disregards psychic experience as a delusion.

So, if you had a religious upbringing like I did, you will have absorbed information about demonology (true!), in Christian scripture, for example. Jesus casting out spirits and demons from distressed and possessed people. That's one source of validation and corroboration.
Then, as I said there's the proposition by the spiritual communities (particularly New Age and clairvoyant communities), that mediumship, that is, the variety of 'psychic' faculties, are real. REAL!

Medical psychiatry being opposed to the existence of the sixth senses reminds me of the people who argue about the possibility of life on other planets, in our vast, vast universe.


So it's not like I was told I was deluded and then looked out and found nothing out there to convince me otherwise. I looked out suffering, looking for a way of alleviating that suffering, a way of changing (controlling) what was going on for me. I'll repeat: there is corroboration for my experience in the world. And lots of it. Lots.
Secondly, I am in this position: I have experienced profound mental illness, affecting my perception and thinking, and I claim also to have psychic experiences. If psychicness is possible, why couldn't I be psychic and ill, as it seems from my observation in psychiatric hospital, many people are. Is it so unlikely then that mentally ill people should be experiencing extra sensory perception dysfunctions as well? I mean that they may be sensing too much, for example, being bombarded by 'extra-sensory' reality?

But, after all this, even saying there is a spiritual dimension to reality, so far known beyond scientific measurement, known subjectively, and saying that incarnate beings can be sensitive to the spiritual and even communicate with beings in the spiritual but not the physical - after all this, still, how do I know that I am not hallucinating, that my extra-sensory perceptions are real?

It seems real. Occasionally there are little things. 'Hearing' an uncommon word out of the blue. Being 'given' forgotten information (being reminded of something). 'Hearing' someone's thoughts (and having what was heard confirmed as true). Feeling a spirit's touch (my departed father). Having a vision of God that removed fear. Ghosts saying and stressing "We're real".
But other than the occasional experiences that tend to reach out of the subjective towards situations that could be objectively convincing, it's just the realness of everything that goes on inside. The friendly chatting and joking with celestial friends-and-relations - and earthbound spirit-people (ghosts); the pain produced by mental harrassment by anonymous spirit-people of realms between earth and the classical Heavens.  These are realistic. I tend not to question them. Only sometimes does the weight of opinion against the reality of it make me think, well is this a hallucination? But then I quickly revert to my ongoing assumptions.

The last time I was ill, I was lucky enough to have an ongoing drama playing out in my mind where there was someone on the roof. I could hear their voice, but looking outside, it turned out there was no one there. I was hallucinating. The voices were coming from somewhere though. I might half suggest that sometimes the voices in breakdown come from lower spirits. And I also say that they could be hallucinated, unconsciously imagined. I can tell the difference between real and unreal voices because the unreal ones come during periods of breakdown and refer to subjects that are clearly unreal (there's no one there; robots fighting over a city; rooms thought occupied that are not).
Some people consider it a proof of reality that some of my voices are friendly, cooperative, and helpful. It's not all demonising. I might see a known holy person like Swami Yogananda appear (dimly) in the corner of the room and promise to help me by "warding off evil". It's almost as if there is a struggle between the Light and hostile spirits playing out in my life (!)


So, why do I not just listen to the doctor, take the medicine and consider all my strange inner goings-on as hallucinations?

1. There is corroboration for my reality in spiritual schools of thought in the world
2. It seems real.
3. Occasionally there are happenings that are more than subjectively convincing of their reality.

PS If I've made you afraid: It pays not to be in a panic about your spiritual well-being. Secondly, if you are not in a position where you are troubled by spirits, don't worry. Thirdly spirituality is usually safe, though in unusual circumstances people can enter into unwelcome situations through being too spiritually open and not grounded enough in physicality, and in their connection to the Earth. (I just remembered I need to ground! Ha ha. Simple solution shows its head again. I don't 'shield', I don't ground, I don't visualise closing my aura... I forget to do this, whilst advocating it! In truth visualisation feels blocked in me, it's hard. I guess you have to learn the hard way. For all my advice, I forget to do these important things. But my self-discipline is far from immaculate. I suppose what will happen is that my spiritual awareness comes under control... through being controlled!! By me! That is, I'll end up spending a little time and energy everyday looking after myself spiritually: Shield; Ground; Close Down. "Clunk, click, every trip!" Like seat belts! Like daily oral hygiene! Ah well. I feel foolish. Maybe my 'empty-handed' way has served a purpose...)

PPS Sometimes my perception is woolly, I admit it. I used to think I was experiencing massive psychic attack from earthly 'living' people. My awareness cleared up and now I know it comes from elsewhere, from an afterlife realm. Some of the telepathy stuff is hard to identify, too, like when you have the feeling you are consciously connecting  to a media personage - a classic psychotic symptom, right? (I get a wave of hostility projecting out of me very forcefully towards someone, like a guaranteed bring-them-down insult/attack, and I get a feeling of connection.) Who knows, maybe there are TV or film stars reading this trying to figure out why they have a hard time in the telly!
I once sensed a film star responding to a very ungrounded young man, whose presence I sensed watching him and wandering into that star's awareness; guess I'm a witness to this - he sent back the thought to him "I know you're afraid; but I have to act now". Now more than ever, with drug use, people in the media I think must get bombarded by telepathy of friendly, unfriendly,and over-friendly kinds. (There's a flower essence for this (!), to close you off from other's mind intrusions when performing- golden yarrow). I have been sat next to people who I figure must have the same 'abilities' as me, twice, who I instantly knew where sending their friendliness/overfriendliness to the person on screen; they had a look of focused concentration, and a kind of looseness too. Unbelievable? This I'm sure about, I'm just not yet sure how it is that one person can receive a thousand signals at once, statistically speaking. Maybe it truly is that only one or two tend to get through.
I got so concerned about the attack that I was unwillingly channelling that I took the personal decision to be responsible and avoid media with faces or voices; I did this for about a year, and I can now watch some films quite safely. It used to be that I was very sensitive to voices - if I turned the sounds off a soap opera, for example, I could watch it happily, otherwise, I would tend to feel like I was connecting, even doing harm.
This is so strange! The stuff you find on the Internet...
From the convincing to the unconvincing. Like I say, I come across as a normal person (though presently also a quiet person), - just don't ask me about telepathy and evil spirits...

Too Open. Painfully Psychic Mind

I remember the exact turning point when I was walking down the street and thought others could know my thoughts. In Heaven this is probably normal, but there they are also filled with the highest love, God's Love. Here on Earth, this can be a very uncomfortable state...

My theory is this: a 'shell' of awareness becomes damaged or lost, so that it is more obvious what is going through one's mind. They say communication is telepathic, normally - you meet someone and you instantly connect with them; when you are too open, this connection is very uncomfortable, feels embarrassing and is subject to negative manipulation. (However, normally, telepathic connection occurs at a higher level than we can consciously know about).

For me, psychosis came about through use (or abuse) of cannabis. It's not all misdiagnosed psychicness in my situation. I have hallucinated and been delusional. This feeling of openness is common to people with schizophrenia, is a scientifically identifed symptom.
Knowing spiritual people claim that cannabis 'turns off the aura'. I have previously stated that the biofield around every being acts to a degree to preserve positive energetic awareness, so when it is disabled, of course we will be subject to spiritual manipulation and negative spiritual interactions, if we have the luck to attract that. The aura has different layers, commonly called 'bodies'; there are different bodies affecting the different parts of body and mind. I think perhaps some damage occurs to the mental body around the head to create this painful openness (telepathic openness); or perhaps it is a question of the aura not functioning as it usually does, or not being grounded enough (not strong enough in its connection to the Earth).


Also, in my experience, openness is maintained by the connection I have with malevolent spirits. I believe that if I was at peace with them, the openness would go away. I would feel more comfortable in public, I would feel 'normal' around others. They act like an obstacle blocking a door open and keeping it from shutting.

It must be there is a shell of awareness, as I have stated, that keeps us from being bombarded by telepathic messages, and keeps our thoughts private (although in a semi-permeable way, being open to the Light and the agents of Light in Heaven).
It is this shell of awareness that the malevolent spirits try and break through in attempting to force telepathic awareness between me and others, often intiating sudden psychic awareness, and with the sole intention of causing distress. This does, I know, require a leap of faith, for most. Telepathy and interference with telepathic abilities and ordinary awareness. This is the furthest edge of the paranormal, then! I can explain, but here, it's hardest to believe!

This hostile psychic influence is like forced penetration. It violates privacy and the right to peace. The spirits who are causing this are forcing connection between their mind and mine, or in three ways, between their mind and my mind and that of another or others. On some level it must bring them peace to be within this enclosure of intimacy, it must make all things right with them, allowing them to feel safe and normal. It is the psychology of intrusion and super-control playing out. On some level, they are displaced, and can only feel whole by displacing another and residing in their place.


Furthermore, open awareness means openness to psychic pollution, not only actively from the lower spirit realms in the form of spirit attack, but in ambient ways, since outside the aura there is a degree of psychic pollution, both from the lower spirit realms and surrounding the Earth. It is said that the negative thoughts and emotions that people have surround the earth like smog, slowing the evolution of all life on Earth and causing harm. Perhaps the feeling of not being in grace - of being cursed - comes from openness, from connection with beings living in energetic pollution, constantly channelling feelings of discontent into my mind.
New Age teachings say that people now are being called on to practise mental hygiene for the good of all, to monitor their thoughts and feelings and keep them 'positive', that is, loving, rather than fear-based. Actually, part of my day-to-day responses to spirit intrusion is strict mental hygiene, is ensuring I do not upset my energy further by engaging in negative thinking. I try to use positive language in speaking and thinking, and I try not to harbour negative emotions. I keep my mind clean with affirmations and prayer. Actually, all the 'mental hygiene' is quite an effort, - it could seem overly fussy or obsessive, but it bears great fruit in keeping my mind stable, making things easier.


So what else can I write about telepathic openness? This: it is like we are in a world where we have forgotten the facts and live in our beliefs, such as they are. Is there ultimately anything wrong with being naked? If we 'dream' that nakedness is bad, we will be distressed if we are made to be naked. We choose shame, when if we were knowing we would choose peace. Enforced nudity is different though, in that there is the aspect of injury and violation of the individual will, and how should we deal with that? It is the same as with any crime: with compassion, with forgiveness as much as we are able. There is a higher spiritual truth that we can access about this overriding of individual will, in forgiving the mistakes that another makes on their route of spiritual evolution, in mishandling us. The angels say we all stumble on the path, like little children, and God understands that.
Enforced mental nudity? This can only be because the ones who do the revealing were never comfortable with their own mental nudity, were never comfortable with their own thoughts and feelings, were never loving towards themselves for what went through their minds, and repeat this every time they seek to shame us by revealing our thoughts in forced telepathic connection with others and intruding into our space aggressively. They are not at peace with themselves. If you are at peace with your naked mind, show them how to be peaceful in the same way. This will be healing.

Status Quo. Shared Situation. Help.

If you are in my situation, on the one hand:

• your mind is being harmed by spirits
• your relationship with the world of spirit is out of balance
• you are too 'open' in your channels of spiritual communication
• you may be under a degree of negative spiritual influence or control sometimes
• you may have awareness of 'ghosts' around you, or as you go about in the world
• you may be experiencing a high degree of distress due to spiritual influences

and on the other hand:

• you understand that you are 'mediumistic' (you are 'psychic', you are able to be a medium between Earth and the spiritual world)
• you have a firm belief in the spiritual and life after death
• you have beliefs and psychic gifts that can be useful to the human race
• you may have awareness of your spiritual helpers, whether deceased friends and relations or angels or 'God'
• you have hope that Health on all levels is your natural state
• you have a lot of experience in helping yourself have good well-being

Who do you turn to in this situation? A psychiatrist?

1. Orthodox 'Western'-style psychiatry is not spiritual. You will only confuse them, or be disbelieved and labelled psychotic.
2. The psychiatrist may give you drugs that you do not need / that do more harm than good.

Who can you turn to for help? Answer: someone who is more mediumistic than you, and someone also who has better luck (better mental/ psychic health) than you! This may be:

• Someone trained in exorcism, like a priest, or someone who is very psychically gifted and has found their own way to move spirits on to their rightful place and restore your correct relationship with the world of spirit
• Someone like a 'shaman', the village wise man or woman who is good and knowing, who works with good spirits who can help restore your relationship with the world of spirit to a healthy condition.

The key thing is that you find someone powerfully mediumistic, with good connections in the spirit world, who can restore your relationship with the spirit world so that you are happy and peaceful.
However, there are people out there who claim to be helpful who are lying or who who are ineffective, so be careful and good luck. Still, keep searching until you find someone powerful enough to help you be healthy! Also, many parts of the world are more scientific than they are spiritual, with little belief in the 'paranormal', and sporadic psychic awareness, so good luck, again, in finding someone to believe in you, and in the mean time, stay strong in your self-belief and spirituality. You can be healthy!

Demonology II

First-hand awareness of demonology may not be my life-purpose - health is part of my life purpose, but I think my real life purpose is being useful in more mundane ways - still, this is useful knowledge to share, right?

Demonology, study of demons, and knowledge about demons.

What is a demon?

• A person (or animal?) that is in spirit, and that is in part ascension, who has not been reunited and reconciled with 'the Light', the Highest vibration of existence
• A person (or animal?) who avoids and hates the Light and seeks to extinguish it where possible
• A person (etc) who suffers, but in such a way as to not be humble, and pray for help, but holding the desire to spread suffering, particularly among those of the Light

We on Earth are in a state of grace with God; in our souls we are always full of love and light, no  matter what the appearances on the outside. Spirits may attack us, partly out of a kind of jealousy, therefore, and partly out of resentment of the Light.
Out of the body we come face to face with the origin of grace - with God, but we may avoid God out of shame or anger and other emotional conditions.

I believe there is no Devil, that God is Almighty.
I may in anger call them demons, sometimes, but those spirits who trouble humanity are not really any different to profoundly emotionally disturbed individuals found on Earth. Being a humanist, I prefer to call them what they are, spirits in part ascension, rather than create eternal divisions with terms of hatred like 'demon'. Am I wrong? My father, who happily passed on to Heaven when he died, I have heard warn me of the presence of demons and a 'high demon' - so if they 'up there' use such terms, maybe we should too. But perhaps they do so for the sake of ease, and in reality compassion would not use such labels, in reality, love can embrace spirits but not 'demons'.

In  my experience, these spirits are not the extreme embodiment of fear that we traditionally make 'demons' out to be. They are exactly like the Earthly 'psychopath' - a person who has been conditioned by fear and harm to be hostile in an unreasoning and persistent way; this is a being who wishes to win, and they make war aggressively, they are not playing a game.
However, whatever we call them, we should be "as wise as serpents, and as innocent as doves", showing compassion willingly, but not inviting hungry tigers round for dinner... These spirits may be still be more dangerous than we know, and should be treated with caution.


Talk of demons seems to be frowned upon by religion these days. Some churches still have an awareness of spiritual danger, for better or worse, but most churches in my part of the world seem to have abandoned their duty to 'cast out evil spirits' and in place of a very scientific universe that prefers to ask questions first. We have abandoned belief in the paranormal in this part of the world. This position reduces fear, certainly, but what if you are in spiritual danger? The ordinary person will not believe you, and you may not know who to turn to, and those you do turn to may not have the spiritual 'muscles' or awareness appropriate to resolving the spiritual imbalances that present themselves. Because this is about one's relationship with the world of spirit being correctly in balance, being harmonious.

We have natural defences to spiritual danger.

• There is the energetic aura, the biofield, that is a shield when healthy, (and which can be strengthened by imagining it filled with bright light)
• There is the presence of the angels and spiritual guides around us, which spreads Light
• There is the very nature of the Universe, the omnipresence of the Universal energy that guides and heals
• There is our own common sense
• There is our personal and group experience, which can help resolve a relationship with spirit that has developed in an unwelcome way (you can see someone who will help you).

I believe there is hope for all beings, that "everything is in a state of flux", so that change finds every being, and all beings 'go Home' to the Light, to God. God's power goes out everywhere, to all beings, (because it is everywhere, it is all beings), and so nothing is truly divided away from God's healing power. [This is a kind of belief in 'universal salvation', as they say, which is a little controversial out there in the realm of Earthly religious doctrine.]

So, do we call them demons, because they do great evil, or do we show compassion and call them spirits fallen into grave ill health, psychopathic spirits? I admit I can't give an absolute answer, but personally I prefer here to embrace, not divide, to heal, not reject: I prefer to call them spirits.

Mr S' Believe It Or Not...

Yesterday I had to employ the services of a locksmith. Out of sheer happiness to be helped, I tipped him on top of a not inconsiderable sum, and as he went away, his thoughts came to me that I was " a nice man." I heard him thinking as I was shutting the door and as he was going away. He did not seem aware that he was heard thinking. I wonder if it was heard and communicated by the fact of the presence of the 'ghosts' (ghost-people) around me listening to him thinking. Still, this was nice - nice to be nice, and nice to be telepathic!


It should be noted that although I am very telepathic when no one is around, - often hearing people who I can sense are living 'in the body' on earth, as well as having running jokes with visiting spirits and highly conscious ghost-people around me, - it is extremely rare for me to hear the thoughts of people I am physically around.
Shall I complicate this? I'll go on - it is typical of the overlooking harmful disturbing spirits to force my thoughts out of me to telepathically connect with others in awkward and distressing ways, to shame me or others. Telepathy is their favourite medium, and their chief asset, due to their spiritual state. I feel sure that they caused others to hear my thoughts or sense my mind's workings - and cause sudden psychic awakening in those others. These spirits often delight in causing confusion and upset, and they use me as a medium to do it. My mind gets possessed. I feel a pressure on my thoughts. This is the same pressure that I feel ordinarily, diverting my thoughts into painful avenues when these harmful spirits are attacking me. That is, when there is potential for me to think a distressing thought, they will forcibly change the direction of my thinking to focus on the painful idea related to what I was thinking about. It comes with the feeling of psychological torturing.

This sounds so far-fetched, but it is good to articulate and share it. I guess, as I said, I have 'complicated' this post by going on into the related subject of telepathic attack. But, this is a good description of what goes on inside me (or, if you like, what seems to go on inside me).

To explain further - I think someone who does not share this condition may be thinking, well how can diverting thoughts hurt? Well, I say, think about why words hurt. That's in the core of this. Is it true that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me", as some of us are taught to remember as children? Is that true? Not in my experience. Secondly, think about tools of psychological torture such as guilt and shame - the spirits, more or less deliberately, work to inflict a negative self-image based on the past and present. Lastly, think about aversion - those things to which we naturally prefer to avoid, whether what we are avoiding is real outside us or can be real in our minds as ideas. If you don't like spiders, if I am a spirit, sometimes I will be able to make you think about spiders and feel uncomfortable. If something could remind you of some personal shame or guilt, if I am a spirit, I will be able to make your mind dwell on that painful thought. And sometimes the harshness of unascended spirits comes through, - their anger and discontent comes through - as violent language ('cursing' / 'swearing' language) or even violent imagery at times. they have so much anger to express and rid themselves of, it comes through at every available opportunity.
Again, I believe I have described clearly what happens inside of me during this experience of "spirit attack". So is my work here done?! I mean is this the higher purpose of this blog? Perhaps. And perhaps its other functions include further analysis of the parts of this condition, and possible remedies.

I apologise for my language sounding complex and like a university lecturer! I consciously try to write in an accessible style, but sometimes I slip into words like the ones I use when writing privately about this, in my journal.


Until next time,
Wishing you good luck in your health,


Mr S

Grace: An All-Important Factor

I apologise if I repeat myself in this blog. I guess it's hard to avoid because I am still formulating my opinions. In this post, however, I would like to put forward new information, that has just occurred to me - a change of perspective.

In summing up my psychological needs before, I have thought, and prayed, that I need three things:

• psychological safety
• psychological peace
• mental privacy

These three states overlap, to a degree - have safety and you have everything, have privacy and you have everything. [Condition review: like being over-looked by a disturbing harmful entity or entities].

My new 'breakthrough' in understanding is that what I'd actually like is to be in a state of grace.

I have vaguely referred before to my sense of a weight hanging over me that causes me feelings of gloom and discontent; and as you know, I have referred to the state of being harmed, apparently, by spirits from outside of the regular domain of Light (spirits that are discontent and avoid spiritual ascension). Being 'in grace' means you are living in another's favour, that they bless you, and you are happy.

It must be that I am in Heaven's grace, because 'spirit-people' from Heaven come everyday to be by me - they are my guardians. It must be that I am in God's grace, - I believe that everyone is. [In the Christian new Testament, Jesus says that God alone is perfect, and gives blessings to all ("rains on everyone's house"), and that God is infinitely better than us when we are loving (the teaching that we give our children fish and loaves when they ask for them, not serpents and stones, and God who is perfect gives much more); God always gives to us, and this means if we go wrong, we always have a chance to go right again.]

The only way I am not in grace is from some parts of the spirit world, who hail down abuse and injuries on me daily, since ten years, without pause. [I suppose spirits find it easier to harm our minds than our bodies, by their nature.]

It's like a loud alarm bell going off constantly, calling my attention to some fault that needs amending - but, sadly, I don't know what I have done wrong. (I don't know the cause of the attack - it really does feel often that I have caused annoyance, though some attack is gratuitous harm).

However, this concept of grace as the solution my situation is a good one: it explains why I feel 'cursed' at times, unable to lift my mood; it explains why I feel guilty from some unknown and external cause; it explains why I am psychologically injured and harried; - I have not been in grace, I have not been "in the good grace's" of some other beings, who happen to be 'in spirit' (and being in spirit therefore having the ability to mentally affect me).

I wish to be in grace, then. I pray to be in grace.


They say that there is nowhere that the Light, the Highest vibration of existence, does not penetrate, and so I have hope that this anger of others towards me may be healed by this Light that is synonymous with compassion and mercy.


As a final point, grace is related to the feeling of happiness - and it is also related with good fortune (with blessings, as I said above). To be in grace is also to have good luck (just as cursing brings harm and misfortune).


I apologise for not writing more often in these last two months, but I have been getting my ideas together and waiting for the right moment to write!
Thank you for reading.