Sunday 19 December 2010
Season's Greetings
Wishing the "Diagnosis: Schizophrenia!" blog readership a happy festive season and a healthy New Year!
Discarnate Dad: Celestial Discipline!!
Life was easy until my dad died; it doesn't seem like so long ago that he passed on, but it is nearly five years (it will be five years next March).
You may gather from my blog that I hear things - I hear voices that I say are from Heaven (or ghosts or other spirits). So when my dad died, I started to hear him too.
This is all good, I love my dad, but... He's around me a lot of the time every day, in a supportive way, which is brilliant... but he also brings discipline, which is often opposed with what I am doing. I feel the force of his will, but often I am vigorously pulling in the other direction. This can be quite traumatic at times. So it's not always the best having a dad in spirit - but it's still my dad, you know? I always end up forgiving him, no matter how angry he makes me.
He's the only person who disciplines me, of all my celestial friends and relations, and he can be critical or obstructive at times when I feel sensitive, too, wishing for gentle treatment.
The funny thing is, there's a general idea that people become 'saints' when they die, changing their nature and becoming very good, - but that's not the case. I guess people move on in what they understand from their way of life from a heavenly perspective, but that might not mean they suddenly change a lot. Your dad is still your dad, and will wish the best for you, and might wish for the best for you so much that he anxiously impresses his will on you to guide you.
I should listen more. I wish he would be more gentle with me. I should think myself lucky having someone near me with the higher knowledge that a Celestial viewpoint offers! He knows things about what may come about. Before I had my second breakdown, some weeks before, I felt fine, but I heard his voice telling me that I was about to go through one of the greatest trials of my life...
There are many other things he seems to know too, which I don't doubt he may have reason to think, but I don't wish to publish them here.
PS Grr! My dad is still making his presence felt in uncomfortable ways. Being assertive, I would say that he is exceeding his position; he seems to be happy making his will felt forcefully.
In my opinion, he is not always in the right. He can be unfair. This is another thing, not just someone from the afterlife being ornery, but being at fault... However I have realised that he wishes me to find fulfilment, and when he thinks I am veering off path, he can impose himself. This adds up to pressure for me, and interference with my activities and will, which can't be right. (I get the feeling of being blocked, so that if I am doing something creative, for example, my thinking is disrupted and blocked). During these blockages, I have wished to take down his pictures from my home, to put him out of my mind and feelings, because he offended me so much.
The other day I heard him say "No one ever says no to him" (no one out of all the spirits around me every day). This I think is fine. I trust myself and my 'sense of direction'. I don't think he quite appreciates what he is doing. I am writing this partly to shame him into stopping! I have to say, I have felt him hit me; it was some months ago, and I was doing something he opposed. He tried, from spirit, to hit me in the face, and I felt it a little. He was very high strung at the time. But when he 'comes in' like this with his forceful will, it feels wrong to me, and that is part of the reason why I resist it; I get a sense of injustice.
In a dream a few months ago, he was 'with' me. I became aware I was dreaming. He got up, went behind me, and hit me round the back of the head! He did this in the way an angry parent might do to their child.
My piano-playing is a bugbear. I like to play, but he will often resist me playing; once I was very angry and asked him why he was doing it, and he said "I don't want you to become a performer." I think he's out of line. It's my life, my fulfilment, my choice.
In the end, he is acting out of love. But it is not a detached love, and it is not manifesting in ways that love does (ie giving me free rein, supporting my freedom). He wishes me to be fulfilled and happy, but his way, not mine... Still, I love him, and do not wish to be alienated from him.
PPS 31 Jan 2011
Recently I had another falling-out with my passed-on dad. To the effect that I didn't want to think of him. Always, I can love him as a son loves a father at best, but how can I be grateful if he hurts me when I am already feeling vulnerable? I 'rebuked' him for adding to my stress and attempting to take away my freedom. Now I keep telling him to be gentle, - because so much of the condition is about being in pain or under stress, so you don't want anyone 'on your side' adding to it. Hopefully this will lead to a change.
You may gather from my blog that I hear things - I hear voices that I say are from Heaven (or ghosts or other spirits). So when my dad died, I started to hear him too.
This is all good, I love my dad, but... He's around me a lot of the time every day, in a supportive way, which is brilliant... but he also brings discipline, which is often opposed with what I am doing. I feel the force of his will, but often I am vigorously pulling in the other direction. This can be quite traumatic at times. So it's not always the best having a dad in spirit - but it's still my dad, you know? I always end up forgiving him, no matter how angry he makes me.
He's the only person who disciplines me, of all my celestial friends and relations, and he can be critical or obstructive at times when I feel sensitive, too, wishing for gentle treatment.
The funny thing is, there's a general idea that people become 'saints' when they die, changing their nature and becoming very good, - but that's not the case. I guess people move on in what they understand from their way of life from a heavenly perspective, but that might not mean they suddenly change a lot. Your dad is still your dad, and will wish the best for you, and might wish for the best for you so much that he anxiously impresses his will on you to guide you.
I should listen more. I wish he would be more gentle with me. I should think myself lucky having someone near me with the higher knowledge that a Celestial viewpoint offers! He knows things about what may come about. Before I had my second breakdown, some weeks before, I felt fine, but I heard his voice telling me that I was about to go through one of the greatest trials of my life...
There are many other things he seems to know too, which I don't doubt he may have reason to think, but I don't wish to publish them here.
PS Grr! My dad is still making his presence felt in uncomfortable ways. Being assertive, I would say that he is exceeding his position; he seems to be happy making his will felt forcefully.
In my opinion, he is not always in the right. He can be unfair. This is another thing, not just someone from the afterlife being ornery, but being at fault... However I have realised that he wishes me to find fulfilment, and when he thinks I am veering off path, he can impose himself. This adds up to pressure for me, and interference with my activities and will, which can't be right. (I get the feeling of being blocked, so that if I am doing something creative, for example, my thinking is disrupted and blocked). During these blockages, I have wished to take down his pictures from my home, to put him out of my mind and feelings, because he offended me so much.
The other day I heard him say "No one ever says no to him" (no one out of all the spirits around me every day). This I think is fine. I trust myself and my 'sense of direction'. I don't think he quite appreciates what he is doing. I am writing this partly to shame him into stopping! I have to say, I have felt him hit me; it was some months ago, and I was doing something he opposed. He tried, from spirit, to hit me in the face, and I felt it a little. He was very high strung at the time. But when he 'comes in' like this with his forceful will, it feels wrong to me, and that is part of the reason why I resist it; I get a sense of injustice.
In a dream a few months ago, he was 'with' me. I became aware I was dreaming. He got up, went behind me, and hit me round the back of the head! He did this in the way an angry parent might do to their child.
My piano-playing is a bugbear. I like to play, but he will often resist me playing; once I was very angry and asked him why he was doing it, and he said "I don't want you to become a performer." I think he's out of line. It's my life, my fulfilment, my choice.
In the end, he is acting out of love. But it is not a detached love, and it is not manifesting in ways that love does (ie giving me free rein, supporting my freedom). He wishes me to be fulfilled and happy, but his way, not mine... Still, I love him, and do not wish to be alienated from him.
PPS 31 Jan 2011
Recently I had another falling-out with my passed-on dad. To the effect that I didn't want to think of him. Always, I can love him as a son loves a father at best, but how can I be grateful if he hurts me when I am already feeling vulnerable? I 'rebuked' him for adding to my stress and attempting to take away my freedom. Now I keep telling him to be gentle, - because so much of the condition is about being in pain or under stress, so you don't want anyone 'on your side' adding to it. Hopefully this will lead to a change.
Thursday 16 December 2010
Spiritual Safety And Well-Being
Look online and you find countless methods of self-care for the spiritually sensitive when you search for special terms like and .
Search online for books onand you will find many sources of information for those who wish to protect or defend themselves against subtle energy related causes of unhappiness.
Search online for spiritual healing practitioners, and you will call up a host of mediums, shamans and Reiki transmitters and others [of differing ability and even of differing honesty (- beware of dishonest people seeking to effectively rob you whilst smiling! May God bless them and be closely with them.) Still, it seems you can do very much yourself, on your own, with a program of daily spiritual self-care].
Recent books, fervent posts on spiritual well-being, ages-old traditions of healing spiritual relations. These are organised systems of belief... and although part of an 'alternative' culture, they will 'by and large' be put forth by people who can be certified sane.
Those who can heal us help us with any energies that affect us that are not moving very quickly, by nudging them into a lighter state, usually by working with a higher power, a stronger power of love and light. You or I can help ourselves through prayer and faith in those Higher Powers, we can even seek to commune with them, drawing them closely to us, until our vibration is faster and we are naturally free from spiritual causes of unhappiness.
Good luck is strong connection with those Higher Powers, and good luck is a habit of spiritual self-care; this is true for all people, but especially those who are sensitive to the subtle reality of Spirit. The rest of health is in being natural - in us being a friend and blessing, in us being happy, in maintaining good relations and in common sense.
So much for my ideas about spiritual health-and-happiness, gained from research and reflections on eleven and a half years of psychic disturbance. For real.
Night is setting in as I write this, and I can see half of the moon, bright in the clear sky.
Search online for books on
Search online for spiritual healing practitioners, and you will call up a host of mediums, shamans and Reiki transmitters and others [of differing ability and even of differing honesty (- beware of dishonest people seeking to effectively rob you whilst smiling! May God bless them and be closely with them.) Still, it seems you can do very much yourself, on your own, with a program of daily spiritual self-care].
Recent books, fervent posts on spiritual well-being, ages-old traditions of healing spiritual relations. These are organised systems of belief... and although part of an 'alternative' culture, they will 'by and large' be put forth by people who can be certified sane.
- There is a Deity, that is loving to all
- There are guardians who can be called on to help bring spiritual well-being - celestial people, angels, departed loved ones, and even animals
Those who can heal us help us with any energies that affect us that are not moving very quickly, by nudging them into a lighter state, usually by working with a higher power, a stronger power of love and light. You or I can help ourselves through prayer and faith in those Higher Powers, we can even seek to commune with them, drawing them closely to us, until our vibration is faster and we are naturally free from spiritual causes of unhappiness.
Good luck is strong connection with those Higher Powers, and good luck is a habit of spiritual self-care; this is true for all people, but especially those who are sensitive to the subtle reality of Spirit. The rest of health is in being natural - in us being a friend and blessing, in us being happy, in maintaining good relations and in common sense.
So much for my ideas about spiritual health-and-happiness, gained from research and reflections on eleven and a half years of psychic disturbance. For real.
Night is setting in as I write this, and I can see half of the moon, bright in the clear sky.
Supplication says "I pray for you who read this; I wish all of you you all good".
Faith says "God is working miracles with us; even now we are knowing health-and-happiness."
Amen.
Spiritual Self-Care: An Excellent Link
I have just come across an excellent document online about spiritual self-care; it seems to offer the basics of self-care that I am advocating on this blog for anyone with extra-sensory awareness and an experience of psychic attack.
Do you believe you are psychic?
Do you believe there is someone in your spiritual 'space' who is unwelcome?
→ Then read this document on spiritual self-care.
The document is really clear and easy to read and it helps explain what is good to know, for those in the situation described above.
Do you believe you are psychic?
Do you believe there is someone in your spiritual 'space' who is unwelcome?
→ Then read this document on spiritual self-care.
The document is really clear and easy to read and it helps explain what is good to know, for those in the situation described above.
My General Point of View: Schizophrenia And Spirituality
I recently had a debate with someone close to me, via letter, about the way I see the world. My position, as someone who has parapsychic experiences, must be like the way a mystic feels when denounced by atheists. There is an experiential divide, which is sadly being used as a basis for argument... I mean one person is open to things that the other cannot know, yet that other person claims to know more.
Most people are unaware of the paranormal, as a real experience rather than an idea or belief system; this must be true. The paranormal, or spiritual experience, is a less popular branch of reality than mere spiritual belief is, - and we all know how contentious that is. So with the paranormal we are dealing with something like a niche belief that inspires everything from scorn and ridicule to labels of insanity. It's no wonder that I, as someone who claims to be very psychic, has trouble being believed in that claim, especially once my past history of illness is brought into frame. What's more, I even think that the world I know is unusual in occult terms, a paranormal paranormality.
Here's my point of view:
So these are my views. I admit, I'm a little angry after this debate, because of the perceived emotion in the other person who I was corresponding with. You can sense a closed mind, and it's insulting when someone presumes you must be wrong because you have had psychosis, even though they may actually believe that psychic perception is possible.
Most people are unaware of the paranormal, as a real experience rather than an idea or belief system; this must be true. The paranormal, or spiritual experience, is a less popular branch of reality than mere spiritual belief is, - and we all know how contentious that is. So with the paranormal we are dealing with something like a niche belief that inspires everything from scorn and ridicule to labels of insanity. It's no wonder that I, as someone who claims to be very psychic, has trouble being believed in that claim, especially once my past history of illness is brought into frame. What's more, I even think that the world I know is unusual in occult terms, a paranormal paranormality.
Here's my point of view:
- If you have spiritual belief, embrace the sixth sense. Scientists know that we do not find traces of God in the Universe - unless they argue that Everything is God. So God is therefore an extra-sensory reality... to be known by extra-sensory perception. As a spiritual person, either you know God, or you have faith in someone who does. Do you have any experiences of God? Then the chances are that they came as special sensings, or in dreams.
- It is a common belief in mediumistic circles that everyone has psychic capability that can be developed into active extra-sensory perception. Logically, this even includes people with profound mental illness. Schizophrenic people can also be psychic. Schizophrenic people can be having extra-sensory perceptions - whatever the doctors say, who deny the possibility of 'voices' being real, and turn a blind eye to spiritualism, claiming that there are only five senses.
So these are my views. I admit, I'm a little angry after this debate, because of the perceived emotion in the other person who I was corresponding with. You can sense a closed mind, and it's insulting when someone presumes you must be wrong because you have had psychosis, even though they may actually believe that psychic perception is possible.
Thursday 9 December 2010
The Poll On the "Diagnosis: Schizophrenia!" Blog
Thank you for dropping by the blog "Diagnosis: Schizophrenia!"
I hope you take value from what you read here.
Please feel free to comment, and to take part in the poll on the right hand side of the page.
The current poll question is about clairaudience: do you think it is possible that a person like you, me or anyone, can be at all able to hear the voice of God, angels or spirits? I'd love to know your opinion.
Only two votes so far.. one is mine - guess which way I voted!?
I hope you take value from what you read here.
Please feel free to comment, and to take part in the poll on the right hand side of the page.
The current poll question is about clairaudience: do you think it is possible that a person like you, me or anyone, can be at all able to hear the voice of God, angels or spirits? I'd love to know your opinion.
Only two votes so far.. one is mine - guess which way I voted!?
Words On Lightsomeness; And A Prayer
"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light." (Teaching of Jesus found in The Holy Bible, Matthew 6:22; New International Version, 1984).
The eye is called the window of the soul; through our eyes we pour out our feelings to each other. If our feelings are good [i.e., godly, loving] and healthy, the Light lives with us. Light is loving, Light is joyful, Light is good; when we are Lightsome, having a subtle awareness of Light, we are expressing the godly qualities of the Creator.
In truth, the Light is always shining within us, but we can through our own choices also not engage with it fully.
Sometimes, we are darkened in spirit, in small ways, as I will write below. When we express ourselves through a mentality of discontent, we are not as powerful as when we are 'Lightsome', and secondly, we add psychic pollution to the spiritual atmosphere of the world, which negatively impacts on all Life. It is said that there is an energetic 'smog' around the world; when we add to it, we are also communing with that smog and tuning into it. Not wanting to scare you or anything...!, but there you go.
Through being mindful of our thoughts and feelings,
and how we are expressing ourselves to others,
we can remember our true, Lightful nature.
- If we are anxious about psychic attack and feel weak, we have momentarily lost our awareness of the Light.
- If we harbour resentment towards those who make themselves enemies of us, we have forgotten our nature and have momentarily lost our awareness of the Light.
- If we are only timid when confronted by an infringement or potential infringement of our dignity, and do not react assertively, then we have momentarily lost awareness of the Light.
- If we allow ourselves to be preoccupied by worries and thoughts of misfortune, neglecting to think of good fortune and good possibilities, we have momentarily lost awareness of the Light.
- If we allow hostility to blunt our self-esteem so that we no longer feel equal with others, we have momentarily lost awareness of the Light.
- If we allow harsh thoughts to occur without then putting a good thought in their place, we are misled and go awry, we have momentarily lost awareness of the Light.
- If we grow into the habit of losing our temper with those who hurt us, then we have momentarily lost awareness of the Light, that is patience and compassion and all goodness.
The above list is not accusatory in spirit, it is as much personal reflection as instruction - or more properly, 'caution': I mean to say, be aware that your consciousness can slip sometimes, though in ways that can be remedied so that we express our true, Lightful selves.
The Light is always shining, and metaphorically speaking, we always have the opportunity to look at it and retain an awareness of it - or to not do so.
A Prayer
Change: choose again, reconsider
Grow in inner strength
Smile freely
Laugh easily
Be still and rest
Reflect on life peacefully
Be a friend
Be lucky
Bless, bless, bless
Be open to exploring the world
Open your heart: give and receive
Be joyful, for joy is godly
Love, love solemnly, love playfully, love everyone
Love, because it is good; and love because God wills it
Love because we are all one, in God
And in all ways and every moment be Lightsome!
In the name of God,
Amen
A Christian Prayer: A Prayer To Saint Michael The Archangel
The following is a traditional Roman Catholic Christian prayer to Saint Michael the archangel, the spiritual protector.
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle;
be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray:
and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.
I read this prayer yesterday and thought of including it on the blog here with a note: what is the point of this prayer? It is a prayer for celestial defense from darkened souls. Presumably 'battle', in the second line, refers to spiritual warfare. I just include this prayer here to remind the readers that many people find reason to believe in dark forces. Don't see it as nonsense, but consider that Earthlings can encounter spiritual danger, and be troubled by real evil from the World of Spirit.
Also, don't be start panicking at the thought of 'dark forces' out there in the ether, because in the end, all is well.
Taoist Insight: Good To Read
Found this, attributed to Lao Tzu, at this webpage:
I really appreciate this. At the moment I am enthusiastic about the meaning of harmony, under the realisation that it means "good relationship", and I benefit from harmonious relations with all Life, including the World of Spirit: harmony is essential for me, it is the goal I am seeking. "Forego antagonism and separation" is the instruction - to not be full of resentment, and not to emphasise division, but to embrace in a spirit of cosmic unity.
Those who wish to embody the Tao should embrace all things.
To embrace all things means first that one holds no anger or resistance toward any idea or thing, living or dead, formed or formless.
Acceptance is the very essence of the Tao.
To embrace all things means also that one rids oneself of any concept of separation; male and female, self and other, life and death.
Division is contrary to the nature of the Tao.
Foregoing antagonism and separation, one enters in the harmonious oneness of all things.
I really appreciate this. At the moment I am enthusiastic about the meaning of harmony, under the realisation that it means "good relationship", and I benefit from harmonious relations with all Life, including the World of Spirit: harmony is essential for me, it is the goal I am seeking. "Forego antagonism and separation" is the instruction - to not be full of resentment, and not to emphasise division, but to embrace in a spirit of cosmic unity.
Wednesday 8 December 2010
My Point of View: General Catalogue of My Beliefs. Complete Confession!!
I was raised as a Christian, and I am a Christian, I hope in a vital sense.
I am also open, believing that though we are many races on one planet, there is only one Earth: I am open to truth wherever it comes from.
I read the Bible, and scholarship about the Bible and the Christian faith.
I am interested in faith independent of the flaws of organised religion (and I do believe that the 'organised' forms of spirituality can have flaws). But that's just to say that there are aspects of some forms of Christianity that don't appeal to me.
So I love various parts of the Christian tradition, but not always all of them, and I don't follow exactly the ways of any one denomination. Having said that, I'm still closest to the Anglican tradition - whilst drawing on aspects of Roman Catholicism! I like the Litany of the Virgin Mary. I admire Padre Pio and trust his teachings. I have spiritually seen Mother Teresa around me, caring for me.
I am interested in the Christianity of the early Church, imagining the believers of those times to have had great fervour and purity of heart.
So, I do call myself a Christian; but I have to say that I respect many forms of religion on the planet, and recognise their spiritual gifts. I respect the devotion of a heart that loves Divinity, when I sense it in writing or people of various faiths.
Although for me 'God' is the 'Father' of Jesus, whereby the Virgin Mary was immaculately conceived, I do not see God as a male being in human likeness. For me, God is a "pure creative spirit" (as was told to Neale Donald Walsch).
I admire the spiritual evolution of the people of India, in their concepts of Brahman, the pure creative spirit of great power, and the transcendent being that manifests as all Creation.
Additionally, I have a love of the Spiritualist Church, appreciating their apparent sincerity and purity of heart, and I am grateful for their example as a social 'place' where clairaudience and clairvoyance are natural human faculties deemed normal.
A lot of things that the Christian church might frown on, I embrace as actually being acceptable and helpful in combating intrusive spiritual hostility. I am happy to respectfully borrow the habit of smudging from native American shamanism (rather like ecclesiastical use of incense). I am happy to borrow from spiritualist knowledge about spirit guides to seek assistance from these celestial bosom buddies in my spiritual evolution and spiritual safety. I am happy to look outside the Church for spirit release, trusting the orientation of those who may help as professional sensitives (even a duty which the modern Church variously abandons).
My personal experiences of Deity are varied; they are all spiritual experiences, happening in altered states, and open to the usual criticisms (!), - but still I ask them to be respected. I have had experiences of Deity outside of my own cultural forms. I have had a clear indication that Islam and Christianity pray to the exact same Deity. I have experienced God as the Absolute, as the Father, as Goddess; I have seen Jesus nearby me (see my poem) and heard a personal message from him; I have known saints of Christian and Indian traditions, again outside of ordinary perception; I have had a vision of the Virgin Mary in a dream - she was smiling at me; I have been visited in a caring way by a person born in India said to be an incarnation of God (just as Christians hold Jesus to be). Of all the worlds in all the universe that bear Life, is ours the only one graced with one single incarnation of God, as Jesus? Jesus is supposed to have said to someone recently, that all paths are his paths.
If we don't hear Spirit with our inner ears, and see Spirit with our inner eyes, how do we know Spirit at all? We can only follow others and believe what we are taught. How can you know an extra-sensory reality except by extra-sensory perception?
I have to admit that I have a strong interest in Goddess religions of the world - perhaps from a desire for wholeness and balance that my culture today can suppress, who knows? There must be a reason why I feel drawn to that representation of Divinity.
I believe God shows up whenever we love God, whatever we conceive God to be. I believe God is liberal in the way God responds to our beliefs, and principally God loves to have relationship with us.
I don't believe that New Age spirituality is rejected by God; I have read that if you have trouble with the world of Spirit, New Age beliefs should be rejected in favour of a strict adherence to Christianity. Obviously the point of this blog is that we are all spiritual beings, and some behaviours and practices can be risky or downright dangerous - so educate people to take care. Smudge before and after spiritual practices! Close down the chakras after spiritual practices! Shield before and after spiritual practices! Cleanse your aura regularly! And ground your energy. A lot of people of 'New Age' belief seem to think that there is no evil and that we cannot ever be invaded. Obviously, we may encounter evil in spirit just as on the Earth, and we may not always be spiritually safe, especially if we are ignorant of danger and of the necessity and proper techniques of spiritual self-care. But all is for the best, as "Pangloss" says, no matter how grim things can be. I see the New Age movement primarily as a movement away from organised religion: it is a movement of individuality, and thus of personal knowledge of Divinity, and therefore can't be so bad.
This is a concise version of my beliefs, for your interest, to inform how you see what I write on this blog, and so you can dismantle any bias that may be present.
So, welcome to Diagnosis: Schizophrenia, people of faith; I'm reassured that you're here. And to the everyone agnostic or atheist - peace be with you.
I am also open, believing that though we are many races on one planet, there is only one Earth: I am open to truth wherever it comes from.
I read the Bible, and scholarship about the Bible and the Christian faith.
I am interested in faith independent of the flaws of organised religion (and I do believe that the 'organised' forms of spirituality can have flaws). But that's just to say that there are aspects of some forms of Christianity that don't appeal to me.
So I love various parts of the Christian tradition, but not always all of them, and I don't follow exactly the ways of any one denomination. Having said that, I'm still closest to the Anglican tradition - whilst drawing on aspects of Roman Catholicism! I like the Litany of the Virgin Mary. I admire Padre Pio and trust his teachings. I have spiritually seen Mother Teresa around me, caring for me.
I am interested in the Christianity of the early Church, imagining the believers of those times to have had great fervour and purity of heart.
So, I do call myself a Christian; but I have to say that I respect many forms of religion on the planet, and recognise their spiritual gifts. I respect the devotion of a heart that loves Divinity, when I sense it in writing or people of various faiths.
Although for me 'God' is the 'Father' of Jesus, whereby the Virgin Mary was immaculately conceived, I do not see God as a male being in human likeness. For me, God is a "pure creative spirit" (as was told to Neale Donald Walsch).
I admire the spiritual evolution of the people of India, in their concepts of Brahman, the pure creative spirit of great power, and the transcendent being that manifests as all Creation.
Additionally, I have a love of the Spiritualist Church, appreciating their apparent sincerity and purity of heart, and I am grateful for their example as a social 'place' where clairaudience and clairvoyance are natural human faculties deemed normal.
A lot of things that the Christian church might frown on, I embrace as actually being acceptable and helpful in combating intrusive spiritual hostility. I am happy to respectfully borrow the habit of smudging from native American shamanism (rather like ecclesiastical use of incense). I am happy to borrow from spiritualist knowledge about spirit guides to seek assistance from these celestial bosom buddies in my spiritual evolution and spiritual safety. I am happy to look outside the Church for spirit release, trusting the orientation of those who may help as professional sensitives (even a duty which the modern Church variously abandons).
My personal experiences of Deity are varied; they are all spiritual experiences, happening in altered states, and open to the usual criticisms (!), - but still I ask them to be respected. I have had experiences of Deity outside of my own cultural forms. I have had a clear indication that Islam and Christianity pray to the exact same Deity. I have experienced God as the Absolute, as the Father, as Goddess; I have seen Jesus nearby me (see my poem) and heard a personal message from him; I have known saints of Christian and Indian traditions, again outside of ordinary perception; I have had a vision of the Virgin Mary in a dream - she was smiling at me; I have been visited in a caring way by a person born in India said to be an incarnation of God (just as Christians hold Jesus to be). Of all the worlds in all the universe that bear Life, is ours the only one graced with one single incarnation of God, as Jesus? Jesus is supposed to have said to someone recently, that all paths are his paths.
If we don't hear Spirit with our inner ears, and see Spirit with our inner eyes, how do we know Spirit at all? We can only follow others and believe what we are taught. How can you know an extra-sensory reality except by extra-sensory perception?
I have to admit that I have a strong interest in Goddess religions of the world - perhaps from a desire for wholeness and balance that my culture today can suppress, who knows? There must be a reason why I feel drawn to that representation of Divinity.
I believe God shows up whenever we love God, whatever we conceive God to be. I believe God is liberal in the way God responds to our beliefs, and principally God loves to have relationship with us.
I don't believe that New Age spirituality is rejected by God; I have read that if you have trouble with the world of Spirit, New Age beliefs should be rejected in favour of a strict adherence to Christianity. Obviously the point of this blog is that we are all spiritual beings, and some behaviours and practices can be risky or downright dangerous - so educate people to take care. Smudge before and after spiritual practices! Close down the chakras after spiritual practices! Shield before and after spiritual practices! Cleanse your aura regularly! And ground your energy. A lot of people of 'New Age' belief seem to think that there is no evil and that we cannot ever be invaded. Obviously, we may encounter evil in spirit just as on the Earth, and we may not always be spiritually safe, especially if we are ignorant of danger and of the necessity and proper techniques of spiritual self-care. But all is for the best, as "Pangloss" says, no matter how grim things can be. I see the New Age movement primarily as a movement away from organised religion: it is a movement of individuality, and thus of personal knowledge of Divinity, and therefore can't be so bad.
This is a concise version of my beliefs, for your interest, to inform how you see what I write on this blog, and so you can dismantle any bias that may be present.
So, welcome to Diagnosis: Schizophrenia, people of faith; I'm reassured that you're here. And to the everyone agnostic or atheist - peace be with you.
Back To Reality: Spiritual Warfare... And Peace
Aside from spiritual conflict - aside from comments and thoughts about demonology and so on, let's get back to reality:
Because Life was not created to be full of strife! Who are the people who struggle with spiritual oppression when they are at peace and forgetful of their struggles?
Because the soul that becomes too serious and is overcome with worry becomes darkened. Because when we forget to relax we take on resentment and become darkened. We forget the joy of Creation, and the peace of God.
Because there is a level of existence where there is only peace; the nearer we get to God, the calmer we become. The Highest vibration, the Divine energy, heals everything and knows no suffering.
Like fighting in a storm at night, if we look, we can see the sun rising on the horizon, and clear skies far away.
Let's not forget ourselves; let's not forget who we were before the struggle began, our innocence and warmth and calmness and vulnerability and generosity. Because the souls who make themselves our enemies do not see us as we are when they attack; they do not see the love inside us, but a poor reflection of themselves.
To be pulled off centre unknowingly is to be darkened. Let us maintain our good-naturedness, and remain in Light, no matter the nature assumed by those beings we interact with. And this is mastery!
Wishing you strength on all levels, and peaceful sleep, and remembrance of your true nature,
Mr. S.
Because Life was not created to be full of strife! Who are the people who struggle with spiritual oppression when they are at peace and forgetful of their struggles?
Because the soul that becomes too serious and is overcome with worry becomes darkened. Because when we forget to relax we take on resentment and become darkened. We forget the joy of Creation, and the peace of God.
Because there is a level of existence where there is only peace; the nearer we get to God, the calmer we become. The Highest vibration, the Divine energy, heals everything and knows no suffering.
Like fighting in a storm at night, if we look, we can see the sun rising on the horizon, and clear skies far away.
Let's not forget ourselves; let's not forget who we were before the struggle began, our innocence and warmth and calmness and vulnerability and generosity. Because the souls who make themselves our enemies do not see us as we are when they attack; they do not see the love inside us, but a poor reflection of themselves.
To be pulled off centre unknowingly is to be darkened. Let us maintain our good-naturedness, and remain in Light, no matter the nature assumed by those beings we interact with. And this is mastery!
Wishing you strength on all levels, and peaceful sleep, and remembrance of your true nature,
Mr. S.
On The Outskirts: Life With Schizophrenia
Two things come to mind for this post:
As I have written elsewhere on this blog, as someone bearing the diagnosis of schizophrenia, I am a human with full humanity, who also has an alternate perception of the world. I have illness, but I also have the same desires from life as anyone. I wish for the same things that someone with good health wishes for.
But then, I am different. I was once like anyone else, then I found myself outside of normality, and my whole mental life and personality and way of relating to the world and to other people has been different since - but it's becoming more normal. From being vastly delusional, I now have only a few discreetly held (but major) unusual beliefs about reality. From being very withdrawn, I can now pass for shy, yet courteous. From being very reluctant to speak, I am now someone who can seem normal in conversation. I still feel different, in terms of my confidence levels, and general state of relaxation. And I can't claim to be as externally successful as others my age. And I carry a diagnosis of mental illness that I feel can set me apart from many people. But I value where I've come from and the strength I've gained, and I believe I have something to contribute for being out of normality, and that those gifts will emerge when I'm ready.
Life on the outskirts, but coming back in; and becoming better able to relate to people.
- A sense of being different
- My relationship to my peers
As I have written elsewhere on this blog, as someone bearing the diagnosis of schizophrenia, I am a human with full humanity, who also has an alternate perception of the world. I have illness, but I also have the same desires from life as anyone. I wish for the same things that someone with good health wishes for.
- I wish to be successful in the world
- I wish to have a mate [a partner]
- I wish to have an active social circle
But then, I am different. I was once like anyone else, then I found myself outside of normality, and my whole mental life and personality and way of relating to the world and to other people has been different since - but it's becoming more normal. From being vastly delusional, I now have only a few discreetly held (but major) unusual beliefs about reality. From being very withdrawn, I can now pass for shy, yet courteous. From being very reluctant to speak, I am now someone who can seem normal in conversation. I still feel different, in terms of my confidence levels, and general state of relaxation. And I can't claim to be as externally successful as others my age. And I carry a diagnosis of mental illness that I feel can set me apart from many people. But I value where I've come from and the strength I've gained, and I believe I have something to contribute for being out of normality, and that those gifts will emerge when I'm ready.
Life on the outskirts, but coming back in; and becoming better able to relate to people.
New Makeover! Check Out The Art Pages
Today is a good day. "Diagnosis: Schizophrenia!" blog has gone multimedia!
I am sharing with you my drawings, music and writings!!
Enjoy. And leave comments?
Tuesday 7 December 2010
Visualisation For Spiritual Health
Visualisation for me is a bit of an uphill struggle.
The first time I got into visualising, I felt someone jump into my awareness blocking it, someone who I knew when I first got ill. The sense at the time was that they were preventing themselves from being injured in some way.
Three days ago I was attempting to 'put on my astral clothes'- I was shielding myself - and one of the Earthbound discarnate people around me [i.e., one of the "ghosts" around me] forcefully obstructed the visualisation.
So I can feel blocked in my visualising. - It may be to do with being bonded or attached to others energetically, so that to serve myself in this way starves another. Or as, I sensed the other day, it could be from fear of being cut off and starving for vitality. Obviously if you have attracted Earthbound spirit people, who I'm told are very light in their energy, then they, being at present attached to you, will oppose you making your own energy grounded and healthy (that is, denser or stronger).
It may be then, that if you are just starting to redefine and reclaim your energetic territory, you will come across attachments from others who are effectively using some of your vitality that you have been ignoring.
Esoteric spiritual teachings on subtle energy inform us that it is possible to be bonded to others energetically; these bonds, or 'cords' come through fear and can be conduits of energy. Perhaps the first person I noticed blocking my attempts to work on my aura, written about at the beginning of this post, had previously noticed that I had been drawing on his energy, and attempted to stop what he saw as one act of 'vampirisim' too many. It sounds far-fetched that I would have a waking interaction with the distant mind of someone else living, but there it is.
Also, it is well known that spirit presence can cause fatigue, from earthbound spirits actively taking away a person's own allotted subtle energy that they gain from the Earth. Some people use terms to describe the situation such as saying that the person around whom the spirits are gathered is a 'host', a word borrowed from the terminology of parasitism, as if the ghosts are etheric parasites.
Earthbound spirits are likely very fearful, being held in place by fear, by attachment to the things of Earth when they should or could transcend everything and reunite with Divine Light; when they loosen attachment to everything of Earth,. in order to become closer to the Light, they necessarily must let go of the energy of whoever they are around. So, if you can encourage a spirit to let go of your energy, you are also encouraging them to be closer to God and their rightful place in the universe. David Furlong, an experienced spirit worker, attests that wherever there are Earthbound spirits, they are causing an energetic imbalance. That is, they are upsetting the natural order of the flow of Earth energies for people, places or animals. They are causing the energy for the people or places where they are to be unhealthy, - some say risking illness or fatal illness for the people they are attached to.
Perhaps we must fight to be fed, like the smallest animal in a litter. We are alive and we have the right to vitality. We equally have the right to our own 'space'. We have the right to privacy and not to share company with others unwillingly. If you are trying to strengthen your aura, and someone else has their foot in your door, a foot in your space, then get them out. This is an exploration of power, an exploration of personal power. Allow yourself to expand into your space and use the amount of space you are naturally heir to.
I have been successfully imagining a large amount of fire burning in front of me, which I hold in my hands (in my mind's eye). I have been successfully imagining standing as if in half a sphere of clear crystal permeated with bright red glowing light, and having another corresponding more oval shape of clear crystal above me filled with bright fiery golden light. This has helped me feel strong. The red light connects to the Earth (grounding), the golden light connects to the Sun (vitalising).
I have felt strongly opposed in my shielding: I have felt a LOT of resistance in attempting to imagine myself surrounded by shielding light. But with practise, something has to give way - and anyway the light will accumulate around me (it is supposed to accumulate with repeated visualisation).
Obviously the resistance raises the point that my well-being and that of the Earthbound spirit people around me is in conflict; but I have been told recently (by the healer I saw) that I should be forceful and commanding, to own my space. From the encounters I have had with this opposing will, I feel that the ghosts' attempts to stop me are unnecessary.
I also feel it is possible that there is some blocking occurring from more distant spirits, the darkened souls with whom I am familiar, but out of malice not need.
Just as there is an opposing force to my general well-being and auric health, so I also feel that there is a "foot in the door" keeping my psychic senses open, effectively keeping my mental awareness 'public'. I have just been reading about the 'Gatekeeper' spirit guide who is endowed with the task of monitoring and restricting our psychic awareness; unfortunately, according to the author whose book I have been reading, we can lose our Gatekeeper sometimes through profound stress and sudden psychic opening -that definitely seems like the truth to me. I have been recently praying to come back into contact with a Gatekeeper guide. [Perhaps they need me to continue with my aura work and assertiveness before they can come back into power in my life.]
I just put the wordsand into the Google search engine, and there seems to be a good amount of information on this.
I guess, from a cursory glance, that any meditation work that helps you connect with your spirit guides in Heaven will bring you closer to your Gatekeeper, because they are the same. A professional medium, for example has a strong connection with their guides; I don't, I have had one totally clear vision of one of my guides, probably my chief celestial human helper, - but that's all, we could be a lot closer. Guess closeness with guides is something I can explore and is a possibility open to me further along my path.
But, until I come into formal contact with my Gatekeeper, I can pray, be assertive/forceful and persevere in maintaining my auric health.
So if you have similar problems of enforced openness and an imbalance of giving energy to others,
PS Just spent some time reading about "the gatekeeper". Some people say your guide and your gatekeeper are the same person; - however opinion seems to differ on this.
Again, I have been reading that guides can't always magically sort out every single issue of spiritual safety; there is an element of luck, I suppose and, as I have just read, an element of self-responsibility: as you grow in awareness, it's time to start looking after your subtle energy body with auric hygiene (washing through the aura with Light), grounding (e.g. imagining being deeply rooted into the Earth), and shielding (putting yourself in a large oval bubble of light). Perhaps problems with our relations with members of the World of Spirit indicate that there is a profound shortfall in self-care at our end of the equation on Earth, indicate that we should learn to look after our subtle energy bodies.
PPS Some sources indicate that our guides benefit from encouragement, if they are helping us through spiritual power struggles. So send out supportive thoughts if you could have been more appreciative, if you think that your spiritual guides may have been working to serve your well-being in conflict with darkened souls. An anecdote: once I felt overwhelmed by a group of hostile spirits, and I actually heard one call out the name of an "ascended master", as if to warn the others that he was approaching and they should leave. The name, that I recognised,was "Ranbir", the first name of the soul also called El Morya.
My main point in writing this PPS, which is a point related to appreciation, is to take stock of what good health I do have. From a metaphysical point of view, this is recommended, - such calmness prevents misfortune from running wild and out of control. It's good to be grateful, good in a number of ways - it's respectful and metaphysically, (in terms of thought creativity) it brings good luck. I do well to remember that there are "seven shades" of ... trouble, and I'm only deeply into a few of those shades. It could be a lot worse in terms of exposure to the attentions of darkened souls; I get serious ill will directed at me, and mental harassment/essential irritation, but the quality of it could be more sinister, and such misfortune only extends to my experience of the mental plane, not my physical outer experience at all. The misfortune is limited and could be worse.
So: consider the good of appreciating and being grateful. Guess at the help you are receiving from the Light in being peaceful and happy (a condition of living that you have no doubt been wishing for), and acknowledge it.
The first time I got into visualising, I felt someone jump into my awareness blocking it, someone who I knew when I first got ill. The sense at the time was that they were preventing themselves from being injured in some way.
Three days ago I was attempting to 'put on my astral clothes'- I was shielding myself - and one of the Earthbound discarnate people around me [i.e., one of the "ghosts" around me] forcefully obstructed the visualisation.
So I can feel blocked in my visualising. - It may be to do with being bonded or attached to others energetically, so that to serve myself in this way starves another. Or as, I sensed the other day, it could be from fear of being cut off and starving for vitality. Obviously if you have attracted Earthbound spirit people, who I'm told are very light in their energy, then they, being at present attached to you, will oppose you making your own energy grounded and healthy (that is, denser or stronger).
It may be then, that if you are just starting to redefine and reclaim your energetic territory, you will come across attachments from others who are effectively using some of your vitality that you have been ignoring.
Esoteric spiritual teachings on subtle energy inform us that it is possible to be bonded to others energetically; these bonds, or 'cords' come through fear and can be conduits of energy. Perhaps the first person I noticed blocking my attempts to work on my aura, written about at the beginning of this post, had previously noticed that I had been drawing on his energy, and attempted to stop what he saw as one act of 'vampirisim' too many. It sounds far-fetched that I would have a waking interaction with the distant mind of someone else living, but there it is.
Also, it is well known that spirit presence can cause fatigue, from earthbound spirits actively taking away a person's own allotted subtle energy that they gain from the Earth. Some people use terms to describe the situation such as saying that the person around whom the spirits are gathered is a 'host', a word borrowed from the terminology of parasitism, as if the ghosts are etheric parasites.
Earthbound spirits are likely very fearful, being held in place by fear, by attachment to the things of Earth when they should or could transcend everything and reunite with Divine Light; when they loosen attachment to everything of Earth,. in order to become closer to the Light, they necessarily must let go of the energy of whoever they are around. So, if you can encourage a spirit to let go of your energy, you are also encouraging them to be closer to God and their rightful place in the universe. David Furlong, an experienced spirit worker, attests that wherever there are Earthbound spirits, they are causing an energetic imbalance. That is, they are upsetting the natural order of the flow of Earth energies for people, places or animals. They are causing the energy for the people or places where they are to be unhealthy, - some say risking illness or fatal illness for the people they are attached to.
Perhaps we must fight to be fed, like the smallest animal in a litter. We are alive and we have the right to vitality. We equally have the right to our own 'space'. We have the right to privacy and not to share company with others unwillingly. If you are trying to strengthen your aura, and someone else has their foot in your door, a foot in your space, then get them out. This is an exploration of power, an exploration of personal power. Allow yourself to expand into your space and use the amount of space you are naturally heir to.
I have been successfully imagining a large amount of fire burning in front of me, which I hold in my hands (in my mind's eye). I have been successfully imagining standing as if in half a sphere of clear crystal permeated with bright red glowing light, and having another corresponding more oval shape of clear crystal above me filled with bright fiery golden light. This has helped me feel strong. The red light connects to the Earth (grounding), the golden light connects to the Sun (vitalising).
I have felt strongly opposed in my shielding: I have felt a LOT of resistance in attempting to imagine myself surrounded by shielding light. But with practise, something has to give way - and anyway the light will accumulate around me (it is supposed to accumulate with repeated visualisation).
Obviously the resistance raises the point that my well-being and that of the Earthbound spirit people around me is in conflict; but I have been told recently (by the healer I saw) that I should be forceful and commanding, to own my space. From the encounters I have had with this opposing will, I feel that the ghosts' attempts to stop me are unnecessary.
I also feel it is possible that there is some blocking occurring from more distant spirits, the darkened souls with whom I am familiar, but out of malice not need.
Just as there is an opposing force to my general well-being and auric health, so I also feel that there is a "foot in the door" keeping my psychic senses open, effectively keeping my mental awareness 'public'. I have just been reading about the 'Gatekeeper' spirit guide who is endowed with the task of monitoring and restricting our psychic awareness; unfortunately, according to the author whose book I have been reading, we can lose our Gatekeeper sometimes through profound stress and sudden psychic opening -that definitely seems like the truth to me. I have been recently praying to come back into contact with a Gatekeeper guide. [Perhaps they need me to continue with my aura work and assertiveness before they can come back into power in my life.]
I just put the words
I guess, from a cursory glance, that any meditation work that helps you connect with your spirit guides in Heaven will bring you closer to your Gatekeeper, because they are the same. A professional medium, for example has a strong connection with their guides; I don't, I have had one totally clear vision of one of my guides, probably my chief celestial human helper, - but that's all, we could be a lot closer. Guess closeness with guides is something I can explore and is a possibility open to me further along my path.
But, until I come into formal contact with my Gatekeeper, I can pray, be assertive/forceful and persevere in maintaining my auric health.
So if you have similar problems of enforced openness and an imbalance of giving energy to others,
- Pray for your Gatekeeper to act on your behalf - it's their job to monitor your psychicness
- Be assertive
- Persevere with beneficial visualisations.
PS Just spent some time reading about "the gatekeeper". Some people say your guide and your gatekeeper are the same person; - however opinion seems to differ on this.
Again, I have been reading that guides can't always magically sort out every single issue of spiritual safety; there is an element of luck, I suppose and, as I have just read, an element of self-responsibility: as you grow in awareness, it's time to start looking after your subtle energy body with auric hygiene (washing through the aura with Light), grounding (e.g. imagining being deeply rooted into the Earth), and shielding (putting yourself in a large oval bubble of light). Perhaps problems with our relations with members of the World of Spirit indicate that there is a profound shortfall in self-care at our end of the equation on Earth, indicate that we should learn to look after our subtle energy bodies.
PPS Some sources indicate that our guides benefit from encouragement, if they are helping us through spiritual power struggles. So send out supportive thoughts if you could have been more appreciative, if you think that your spiritual guides may have been working to serve your well-being in conflict with darkened souls. An anecdote: once I felt overwhelmed by a group of hostile spirits, and I actually heard one call out the name of an "ascended master", as if to warn the others that he was approaching and they should leave. The name, that I recognised,was "Ranbir", the first name of the soul also called El Morya.
My main point in writing this PPS, which is a point related to appreciation, is to take stock of what good health I do have. From a metaphysical point of view, this is recommended, - such calmness prevents misfortune from running wild and out of control. It's good to be grateful, good in a number of ways - it's respectful and metaphysically, (in terms of thought creativity) it brings good luck. I do well to remember that there are "seven shades" of ... trouble, and I'm only deeply into a few of those shades. It could be a lot worse in terms of exposure to the attentions of darkened souls; I get serious ill will directed at me, and mental harassment/essential irritation, but the quality of it could be more sinister, and such misfortune only extends to my experience of the mental plane, not my physical outer experience at all. The misfortune is limited and could be worse.
So: consider the good of appreciating and being grateful. Guess at the help you are receiving from the Light in being peaceful and happy (a condition of living that you have no doubt been wishing for), and acknowledge it.
Sunday 5 December 2010
Madness: How Do You React?
My world-view is very spiritual. I am a very spiritual person in my thinking, and I feel close to God. I have a firm belief in the persistence of Life after physical expiration (I believe there is a Heaven). I have had numerous experiences of Divinity and perceptions of Divine power, so my belief in God is also strong. I have certain experiences I label as paranormal, within a spiritual framework. But what if you call all this madness? What if, for you, there is no 'sixth sense'?
Being on the receiving end of such pronouncements, I can tell you that the response to my beliefs that discredits them as madness and irrational creates division, and seems to be a breeding ground for disrespect. My question here is this: is there a way of disagreeing with someone, of being skeptical of what they say, that does not create a division or disrespect that person? With madness, there is an accentuating of the personal difference that exists between us all; the mad person is not just unique, but different in mentality, and in a way that requires more effort than usual to be harmonious with them.
In the UK, a long time ago, it used to be that people deemed insane were not allowed to vote - they were a kind of lesser person. It was the same for women and criminals too! That's just a point about how we see the insane, and where we have come from.
It used to be that what I believed made no sense, and now, even though I can display a clear system of belief, and quote authorities, I feel some near to me are more than skeptical of what I say. There's a distance there, presumably in the fear of madness (which itself can be seen to be rooted in the fear of the incomprehensible violence that psychotically deluded people sometimes commit).
There's something strange in being told that what you are thinking is wrong. It can be a confrontational moment, and a moment of discomfort or exclusion.
It must be that nurses in psychiatric wards are adept in responding to delusional beliefs, responding not just with compassion, but with humour, and with care. I think this is ideal. If you think I'm mad, please hold the thought gently - because I'd rather not be distanced by that.
There must be a better way of disagreeing with someone and telling them that they are seeing things fundamentally wrongly, than by making them feel stupid or strange - without degrading them.
Everyone has different ways of responding to difference, whether rigid or flexible. Are you a tolerant person? How do you respond to human diversity? Are you open-minded? Can you engage with me emotionally and be gentle when you state that I am misled in my thinking? Or do you have no time for people who are ill, do you effectively disrespect the insane as 'lesser people'?
My world-view, concerning my health, begins with an invitation to believe in the spiritual, and continues into a description of the paranormal; the consideration of the reality of an extra-sensory, spiritual dimension to Life is important in meeting me intellectually. Spirituality, it seems to me, is very much a cultural issue, - it is not a dimension of experience readily believed in my part of the world culture... Where are the spiritual psychiatrists I can discuss my condition with? The condition goes like this:
In the mean time, I repeat, if you think my perceptions are false, and my beliefs are erroneous, please hold that thought gently, because I am, after all, still your dignified human brother.
Being on the receiving end of such pronouncements, I can tell you that the response to my beliefs that discredits them as madness and irrational creates division, and seems to be a breeding ground for disrespect. My question here is this: is there a way of disagreeing with someone, of being skeptical of what they say, that does not create a division or disrespect that person? With madness, there is an accentuating of the personal difference that exists between us all; the mad person is not just unique, but different in mentality, and in a way that requires more effort than usual to be harmonious with them.
In the UK, a long time ago, it used to be that people deemed insane were not allowed to vote - they were a kind of lesser person. It was the same for women and criminals too! That's just a point about how we see the insane, and where we have come from.
It used to be that what I believed made no sense, and now, even though I can display a clear system of belief, and quote authorities, I feel some near to me are more than skeptical of what I say. There's a distance there, presumably in the fear of madness (which itself can be seen to be rooted in the fear of the incomprehensible violence that psychotically deluded people sometimes commit).
There's something strange in being told that what you are thinking is wrong. It can be a confrontational moment, and a moment of discomfort or exclusion.
It must be that nurses in psychiatric wards are adept in responding to delusional beliefs, responding not just with compassion, but with humour, and with care. I think this is ideal. If you think I'm mad, please hold the thought gently - because I'd rather not be distanced by that.
There must be a better way of disagreeing with someone and telling them that they are seeing things fundamentally wrongly, than by making them feel stupid or strange - without degrading them.
Everyone has different ways of responding to difference, whether rigid or flexible. Are you a tolerant person? How do you respond to human diversity? Are you open-minded? Can you engage with me emotionally and be gentle when you state that I am misled in my thinking? Or do you have no time for people who are ill, do you effectively disrespect the insane as 'lesser people'?
_______
My world-view, concerning my health, begins with an invitation to believe in the spiritual, and continues into a description of the paranormal; the consideration of the reality of an extra-sensory, spiritual dimension to Life is important in meeting me intellectually. Spirituality, it seems to me, is very much a cultural issue, - it is not a dimension of experience readily believed in my part of the world culture... Where are the spiritual psychiatrists I can discuss my condition with? The condition goes like this:
- Life on Earth
- God
- soul
- Afterlife
- Heaven
- 'Unascended' people in spirit
- Harmful mental interactions with unascended people in spirit
In the mean time, I repeat, if you think my perceptions are false, and my beliefs are erroneous, please hold that thought gently, because I am, after all, still your dignified human brother.
"Dream-Sharing" And Other Extra-Sensory Perceptions On The Borders Of Waking Consciousness
Those of you who grew up in the eighties in America or Europe may be (dimly) familiar with the concept of Dream-sharing, from a TV programme. The "Fraggles" could share dreams if they fell asleep with their heads touching!
I have had experience vaguely like this - and doubtless you will have done too.
I very often have visions when I close my eyes, ever since I apparently blew my psychic senses open with cannabis! A lot of my psychic perceptions related to dream-sharing are through visions.
One night, staying with my brother, during a hard time of his life, I 'saw', during the night a brief vision of him walking the road to the place of execution that Jesus Christ walked: he was carrying a cross and obviously oppressed by heavy feelings. This vision symbolised his state of mind, and showed that while unconscious he had found refuge in the meaning of that journey to martyrdom, and was borrowing strength from Jesus in reliving that archetypal role.
That was an unusual occurrence for me. I had that vision, it cohered with the situation my brother was in, and I fit it within my experience as described, to mean that I had known his dream.
Spiritual teaching indicates that very often the spirit roams around once the body is asleep, usually navigating the astral planes.
There are supposedly many dimensions of experience, I read they number thirty in total, and Life as we know it is different in each dimension.
I have had visions of strange lifeforms, but with human personalities known to me 'attached' to them; - bear with me!! On the higher dimensions, it seems from these visions, as we float away towards God and increase in our power, we can create and evolve ourselves into anything, and my theory is that we do this to protect ourselves from psychological or spiritual threats, whether that be the astral form of the person who is your rival, or any manner of supposed threat. Presumably someone with a more disciplined and peaceful mind might merely experience Divine peace whilst in these higher dimensions.
This all sounds far-fetched, but it is quite certain to me, without a shadow of irrationality falling across it. These strange evolutions that I have seen on a few occasions indicate our great power as creative and evolutionary beings - in that light, these claims seem gloriously reasonable.
I have never read about such a reality of shape-shifting, these statements are purely based on first hand experience. Who knows the subconscious mind? Why not dream of being another life form?
Are you still reading?? I hope you are.
So if we 'move about' in spirit during our dreams, then we can meet up, and some of our dreams about other people must be real interactions. I remember reading about a certain person, and soon after I met them whilst dreaming and shook their hand. That person is now a spiritual friend of mine and is near me everyday as a friend and helper.
Doreen Virtue, the "angel lady" writes about how during dreamtime, very often our souls travel to Heaven for education, for life lessons; - I have had such dreams, whether they be art lessons, or discussions with peers about vegetarianism. Doreen also says that we can travel and interact with others to help them, giving our dreamtime to helping others through our wisdom and caring.
My favourite moments of 'dream-sharing' are those when I am awake, just slipped out of sleep, and I hear the voice of someone I know, whether mother, brother or friend, and they talk to me. It is clear that they are dreaming (somehow it's obvious, whether from the innocence in their voices or the loose, dreamy rationality of their speech). You realise that someone is paying attention to you on the dream plane. You get a sense of the deeper nature of that person, the goodness of their heart or their purity. Clearly these are occasions when I and another have been communing together on the dream planes, and then I wake up and through my own psychic gifts I am able to be aware of them still. However, I would not say that those others would be able to testify to the connection, since they normally sound as though they are asleep.
Once, falling asleep I had a vision of my mother as a child. This was after bed-time, so I believe she had fallen asleep - and slipped straight into the consciousness of her inner child, as a psychological safety mechanism, as an indication of where she is happiest, - or was happiest on that night. This was a profound moment, and gave insight into her psyche that cohered with how she expresses herself when she is awake.
Well, I don't know if you can 'buy' all that, but it comes from real psychic experience, and all of it goes to prove that truth is stranger than fiction, that "there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." - That's not meant here as an insult, but as an invitation to open the mind. I emphasise again how all this comes from a calm and sober mentality! I know I'm not at fault in my thinking about these perceptions, and ask you to consider them real.
These perceptions make sense within a very grand reality of interconnectedness and power, and within a spiritual aspect of reality about which most may be unknowing.
I hope you have enjoyed these sharings on dream-sharing!
Mr S
I have had experience vaguely like this - and doubtless you will have done too.
I very often have visions when I close my eyes, ever since I apparently blew my psychic senses open with cannabis! A lot of my psychic perceptions related to dream-sharing are through visions.
One night, staying with my brother, during a hard time of his life, I 'saw', during the night a brief vision of him walking the road to the place of execution that Jesus Christ walked: he was carrying a cross and obviously oppressed by heavy feelings. This vision symbolised his state of mind, and showed that while unconscious he had found refuge in the meaning of that journey to martyrdom, and was borrowing strength from Jesus in reliving that archetypal role.
That was an unusual occurrence for me. I had that vision, it cohered with the situation my brother was in, and I fit it within my experience as described, to mean that I had known his dream.
Spiritual teaching indicates that very often the spirit roams around once the body is asleep, usually navigating the astral planes.
There are supposedly many dimensions of experience, I read they number thirty in total, and Life as we know it is different in each dimension.
I have had visions of strange lifeforms, but with human personalities known to me 'attached' to them; - bear with me!! On the higher dimensions, it seems from these visions, as we float away towards God and increase in our power, we can create and evolve ourselves into anything, and my theory is that we do this to protect ourselves from psychological or spiritual threats, whether that be the astral form of the person who is your rival, or any manner of supposed threat. Presumably someone with a more disciplined and peaceful mind might merely experience Divine peace whilst in these higher dimensions.
This all sounds far-fetched, but it is quite certain to me, without a shadow of irrationality falling across it. These strange evolutions that I have seen on a few occasions indicate our great power as creative and evolutionary beings - in that light, these claims seem gloriously reasonable.
I have never read about such a reality of shape-shifting, these statements are purely based on first hand experience. Who knows the subconscious mind? Why not dream of being another life form?
Are you still reading?? I hope you are.
So if we 'move about' in spirit during our dreams, then we can meet up, and some of our dreams about other people must be real interactions. I remember reading about a certain person, and soon after I met them whilst dreaming and shook their hand. That person is now a spiritual friend of mine and is near me everyday as a friend and helper.
Doreen Virtue, the "angel lady" writes about how during dreamtime, very often our souls travel to Heaven for education, for life lessons; - I have had such dreams, whether they be art lessons, or discussions with peers about vegetarianism. Doreen also says that we can travel and interact with others to help them, giving our dreamtime to helping others through our wisdom and caring.
My favourite moments of 'dream-sharing' are those when I am awake, just slipped out of sleep, and I hear the voice of someone I know, whether mother, brother or friend, and they talk to me. It is clear that they are dreaming (somehow it's obvious, whether from the innocence in their voices or the loose, dreamy rationality of their speech). You realise that someone is paying attention to you on the dream plane. You get a sense of the deeper nature of that person, the goodness of their heart or their purity. Clearly these are occasions when I and another have been communing together on the dream planes, and then I wake up and through my own psychic gifts I am able to be aware of them still. However, I would not say that those others would be able to testify to the connection, since they normally sound as though they are asleep.
Once, falling asleep I had a vision of my mother as a child. This was after bed-time, so I believe she had fallen asleep - and slipped straight into the consciousness of her inner child, as a psychological safety mechanism, as an indication of where she is happiest, - or was happiest on that night. This was a profound moment, and gave insight into her psyche that cohered with how she expresses herself when she is awake.
Well, I don't know if you can 'buy' all that, but it comes from real psychic experience, and all of it goes to prove that truth is stranger than fiction, that "there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." - That's not meant here as an insult, but as an invitation to open the mind. I emphasise again how all this comes from a calm and sober mentality! I know I'm not at fault in my thinking about these perceptions, and ask you to consider them real.
These perceptions make sense within a very grand reality of interconnectedness and power, and within a spiritual aspect of reality about which most may be unknowing.
I hope you have enjoyed these sharings on dream-sharing!
Mr S
Waking Up In The World: Spiritual Beginnings
I have read in various places that steps taken to safeguard our well-being through spiritual techniques are the equivalent of wearing clothes to protect ourselves from the elements.
Once you are aware of the World of Spirit, you find yourself reborn again, and naked again as a newborn baby - and should put on your 'clothes' for your own good.
This is all as simple as imagining bright light around you, which has a natural shielding capability. Less energetic 'pollution' for your organism, less affected by others' harmful emotions, less spiritual danger.
In the last few days, I have been reading "Working With Earth Energies" by David Furlong. This seems to be a good book, based on the authority of thirty years' experience with the World of Spirit as someone with gifted awareness. I bought this book for its promise of relating to the Earth, and feeling connected within its energies; however, Mr Furlong provides methods for grounding ("Earth attunement", he calls it), and for shielding, - and he also describes a method for allowing Earthbound spirits to transition to the Light, to go Home to 'Heaven'. This is a book I recommend. I can't write his techniques here, because I don't wish to infringe copyright. He was one person who says that spiritual self-care (maintenace of the aura) is like wearing clothes; another person to have written that same idea is Derek Acorah.
Once you are aware of the World of Spirit, you find yourself reborn again, and naked again as a newborn baby - and should put on your 'clothes' for your own good.
This is all as simple as imagining bright light around you, which has a natural shielding capability. Less energetic 'pollution' for your organism, less affected by others' harmful emotions, less spiritual danger.
In the last few days, I have been reading "Working With Earth Energies" by David Furlong. This seems to be a good book, based on the authority of thirty years' experience with the World of Spirit as someone with gifted awareness. I bought this book for its promise of relating to the Earth, and feeling connected within its energies; however, Mr Furlong provides methods for grounding ("Earth attunement", he calls it), and for shielding, - and he also describes a method for allowing Earthbound spirits to transition to the Light, to go Home to 'Heaven'. This is a book I recommend. I can't write his techniques here, because I don't wish to infringe copyright. He was one person who says that spiritual self-care (maintenace of the aura) is like wearing clothes; another person to have written that same idea is Derek Acorah.
Friday 3 December 2010
Question On My Condition: Am I Still Schizophrenic?
When I was telling my story to the healer two days ago, an interesting point was raised. Although I was attempting to say that my schizophrenic symptoms had gone away, I still had that second full breakdown two years ago. Unfortunately, my memories of it now are fading. This is what I think happened.
The point is, that retelling my story, I had missed out the first step listed above. My version of the story in my mind had always been that I had a breakdown from stress, then stopped taking my medicine by happenstance, felt fine, stayed off it, and got ill without realising. But why was I already showing signs of being ill? I remember feeling kind of light-headed, like a type of mania - why was that happening? I was going through a lot of stress, to do with work; somehow this must have broken through the capability of the medicine I was on - yet I also feel that the medicine was ceasing to work for me, like a kind of toxic reaction? I don't know. Why did I start to get 'unhinged' a few months before I collapsed from mental exhaustion?
Although I have been otherwise stable and without symptoms except for apparent paranormal sensitivity and mental disturbance, it seems I am still susceptible to full schizophrenic symptoms, given sufficient stress. That complicates matters. Rather than being someone who has come through schizophrenia, I am someone who will always be at risk of a schizophrenic breakdown.
PS This is a big deal for me, that I apparently could be subject to further breakdowns. I had looked on the second break I have had as a freak occurrence, forgetting that I was already "going off the rails" a little... I need to think about this, and analyse it to find the truth of it. It's unsettling to realise that I was wrong and am potentially still in danger of further illness, and should remain on medication (contrary to my preferences). It may be that I can live a normal life without medicine, but will always be in danger of another breakdown from stress - but that's true on medicine or off it, stress is a universal danger for people who have schizophrenia.
Thanks for reading.
- I remember thinking two months in advance that I had a special connection with someone and was 'channeling' information. I think a lot of that was 'woolly', now.
- On the day the breakdown started, I went to the bank and had a personal meeting with a manager, during which I laughed and laughed and laughed, for no apparent reason; I was just undergoing some kind of hysteria. I then went home and collapsed, more or less, lying on the floor in my living room, before going to bed.
- I stayed in bed for about two weeks, during which time I stopped taking my medicine; since I felt very well., I was happy and thought I didn't need my medicine. However I soon started to have perceptual disturbances (thinking my body very small/large), and hallucinating, thinking an apocalypse was going on outside.
- I then turned into the full breakdown, frightening fears and hallucinations and delusions.
The point is, that retelling my story, I had missed out the first step listed above. My version of the story in my mind had always been that I had a breakdown from stress, then stopped taking my medicine by happenstance, felt fine, stayed off it, and got ill without realising. But why was I already showing signs of being ill? I remember feeling kind of light-headed, like a type of mania - why was that happening? I was going through a lot of stress, to do with work; somehow this must have broken through the capability of the medicine I was on - yet I also feel that the medicine was ceasing to work for me, like a kind of toxic reaction? I don't know. Why did I start to get 'unhinged' a few months before I collapsed from mental exhaustion?
Although I have been otherwise stable and without symptoms except for apparent paranormal sensitivity and mental disturbance, it seems I am still susceptible to full schizophrenic symptoms, given sufficient stress. That complicates matters. Rather than being someone who has come through schizophrenia, I am someone who will always be at risk of a schizophrenic breakdown.
PS This is a big deal for me, that I apparently could be subject to further breakdowns. I had looked on the second break I have had as a freak occurrence, forgetting that I was already "going off the rails" a little... I need to think about this, and analyse it to find the truth of it. It's unsettling to realise that I was wrong and am potentially still in danger of further illness, and should remain on medication (contrary to my preferences). It may be that I can live a normal life without medicine, but will always be in danger of another breakdown from stress - but that's true on medicine or off it, stress is a universal danger for people who have schizophrenia.
Thanks for reading.
Short Post On Lifestyle When Suffering Mental Ill Health
Just like you would think that someone 'cast away' on a desert island might go mad from loneliness and despair, if they weren't careful, you should expect that someone who could be much more active outside the home and interact more with others socially may become depressed, may sit at home and start wondering about the meaning of life in a very despairing way.
Solitude and inactivity may likely breed depression - that's something to remember. Open up windows on the world.
PS: Afterthought: the solitude and low level of interaction with the world, being at home all the time, may mean you are starved of meaningful activity and suffer through a low level of variety in your life - and you may not exactly notice the cause, either. "Variety is the spice of Life," they say, and that rings true.
This is a post drawing insight from my own life, because my social circle is small and not local to me, and I am officially unemployed... It's a little dangerous- you end up wondering what to do with yourself, getting bored, not having any ideas of what to do, feeling lonely, even feeling unworthy of connection with others.
It's better to be conscious of the emotional risks of this lifestyle.
Solitude and inactivity may likely breed depression - that's something to remember. Open up windows on the world.
PS: Afterthought: the solitude and low level of interaction with the world, being at home all the time, may mean you are starved of meaningful activity and suffer through a low level of variety in your life - and you may not exactly notice the cause, either. "Variety is the spice of Life," they say, and that rings true.
This is a post drawing insight from my own life, because my social circle is small and not local to me, and I am officially unemployed... It's a little dangerous- you end up wondering what to do with yourself, getting bored, not having any ideas of what to do, feeling lonely, even feeling unworthy of connection with others.
It's better to be conscious of the emotional risks of this lifestyle.
Report On Trip To See A Shamanic Healing Practitioner
On Wednesday 01 December I made my way across many a snowy mile of British landscape, boarding three trains and a bus, and finally, after some delays, found the home of the healer who was to help me.
A lot of time was spent talking and identifying causes of stress and obstructing beliefs, which she helped me with using various psychological techniques. This revealed a boundary problem with someone I knew, who I sometimes meet in dreams, who I have to tell to respect my space, and this relationship still causes me discomfort at the thought of it, though it ended more than a decade ago; - she later checked for etheric attachments with this person.
As I tried to explain the 'symptoms' of my condition, I could feel that she was skeptical of my account, at first not understanding what I meant by "a force coming from above and compelling my thoughts into painful avenues"! I could feel that she was incredulous of it, but as time went on, she seemed to give credence to the situation. She said I had a nice energy, and that I was oviously being helped by some good spirits (from what I told her).
Passing her hand over my aura to look for problems, I felt her hand's energy interactting with mine in a 'tingling' way, and when I told her this, the healer said that I must be super-sensitive to energies.
She cleared a large blockage she sensed to be 'above' me (in my aura, I presume - I wondered if this was from being unhappy with my spiritual sensitivity). She used a special burning wood to clear the aura.
The lady works with old Incan spiritual medicine, and during the healing, I had visions of Incan-type people looking at me, who wore large vertical crowns, as if they were spiritual royalty coming to supervise the healing. I also saw the head of a piece of wheat very clearly, which I hope was there as a sign of health. During a moment when I was told to project pain outisde of me onto a special stone that she would later 'clear' of pain, I saw two faces of suffering spirits, who were again Incan in genealogy - their energy was very 'heavy'.
I was still getting signs of spirit presence whilst in her house, and still getting painful tuggings at my thoughts during the shamanic healing part of the session. I said to her at the end, "Is there an instant fix?" and she said, "This work I do is the best instant fix that I have found". My point was that she hadn't released the spirits around me or banished the negativity from my awareness where I have been interacting negatively with the World of Spirit.
However, she said that certain practices weaken the aura by thinning it out, such as drinking alcohol or taking drugs. She gave me four important pieces of advice:
I know that the healing and conversation helped me. The talking therapy helped me be stronger, and the shamanic healing was comforting, as she sang songs to the spirits for help. Lying in bed today, I was happy when I sensed a strong and kind Incan spirit come near to pay attention to me.
I am determined to ground regularly now. I can find visualising difficult, but I will do this. I have begun imagining standing on a large white flower (a chrysanthemum), with a red, grounding glow inside it. I have also imagined my feet wrapped in a red light, like the colour of the lava deep within the Earth. It may take me some time to build up to more advanced visualisations, but I feel like what I am doing now is useful.
Yesterday was a good experience. The person who looked after me was sharply clever, well-trained, funny and strong; I was impressed by her sensitivity and connection with Spirit.
So I must become stronger, more commanding, more self-disciplined, and make efforts to preserve my health. In a few days I will receive some new books on spiritual self-care that I ordered online. It's time to gain some expertise.
A lot of time was spent talking and identifying causes of stress and obstructing beliefs, which she helped me with using various psychological techniques. This revealed a boundary problem with someone I knew, who I sometimes meet in dreams, who I have to tell to respect my space, and this relationship still causes me discomfort at the thought of it, though it ended more than a decade ago; - she later checked for etheric attachments with this person.
As I tried to explain the 'symptoms' of my condition, I could feel that she was skeptical of my account, at first not understanding what I meant by "a force coming from above and compelling my thoughts into painful avenues"! I could feel that she was incredulous of it, but as time went on, she seemed to give credence to the situation. She said I had a nice energy, and that I was oviously being helped by some good spirits (from what I told her).
Passing her hand over my aura to look for problems, I felt her hand's energy interactting with mine in a 'tingling' way, and when I told her this, the healer said that I must be super-sensitive to energies.
She cleared a large blockage she sensed to be 'above' me (in my aura, I presume - I wondered if this was from being unhappy with my spiritual sensitivity). She used a special burning wood to clear the aura.
The lady works with old Incan spiritual medicine, and during the healing, I had visions of Incan-type people looking at me, who wore large vertical crowns, as if they were spiritual royalty coming to supervise the healing. I also saw the head of a piece of wheat very clearly, which I hope was there as a sign of health. During a moment when I was told to project pain outisde of me onto a special stone that she would later 'clear' of pain, I saw two faces of suffering spirits, who were again Incan in genealogy - their energy was very 'heavy'.
I was still getting signs of spirit presence whilst in her house, and still getting painful tuggings at my thoughts during the shamanic healing part of the session. I said to her at the end, "Is there an instant fix?" and she said, "This work I do is the best instant fix that I have found". My point was that she hadn't released the spirits around me or banished the negativity from my awareness where I have been interacting negatively with the World of Spirit.
However, she said that certain practices weaken the aura by thinning it out, such as drinking alcohol or taking drugs. She gave me four important pieces of advice:
- Take care of the aura by avoiding alcohol and drugs, which through making the aura thin and more ethereal, make a person more attractive to wandering spirits.
- Ground: connect to the Earth through imagination and visualisation every day. This helps the aura be strong.
- Keep a sense of humour and not feel drained immediately every time there is an unwelcome psychic interaction.
- Be commanding and assertive. We identified that the problems I was having (uninvited spirits in my living space and mental intrusions) were essentially boundary issues to do with personal power on an energetic level. I realised that I don't like being commanding. She recommended that I pray something like the following the prayer: "O God, it is commanded that I have personal space...", so that the command is in the "third person" and cannot be argued with by my mind.
I know that the healing and conversation helped me. The talking therapy helped me be stronger, and the shamanic healing was comforting, as she sang songs to the spirits for help. Lying in bed today, I was happy when I sensed a strong and kind Incan spirit come near to pay attention to me.
I am determined to ground regularly now. I can find visualising difficult, but I will do this. I have begun imagining standing on a large white flower (a chrysanthemum), with a red, grounding glow inside it. I have also imagined my feet wrapped in a red light, like the colour of the lava deep within the Earth. It may take me some time to build up to more advanced visualisations, but I feel like what I am doing now is useful.
Yesterday was a good experience. The person who looked after me was sharply clever, well-trained, funny and strong; I was impressed by her sensitivity and connection with Spirit.
So I must become stronger, more commanding, more self-disciplined, and make efforts to preserve my health. In a few days I will receive some new books on spiritual self-care that I ordered online. It's time to gain some expertise.
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