Life was easy until my dad died; it doesn't seem like so long ago that he passed on, but it is nearly five years (it will be five years next March).
You may gather from my blog that I hear things - I hear voices that I say are from Heaven (or ghosts or other spirits). So when my dad died, I started to hear him too.
This is all good, I love my dad, but... He's around me a lot of the time every day, in a supportive way, which is brilliant... but he also brings discipline, which is often opposed with what I am doing. I feel the force of his will, but often I am vigorously pulling in the other direction. This can be quite traumatic at times. So it's not always the best having a dad in spirit - but it's still my dad, you know? I always end up forgiving him, no matter how angry he makes me.
He's the only person who disciplines me, of all my celestial friends and relations, and he can be critical or obstructive at times when I feel sensitive, too, wishing for gentle treatment.
The funny thing is, there's a general idea that people become 'saints' when they die, changing their nature and becoming very good, - but that's not the case. I guess people move on in what they understand from their way of life from a heavenly perspective, but that might not mean they suddenly change a lot. Your dad is still your dad, and will wish the best for you, and might wish for the best for you so much that he anxiously impresses his will on you to guide you.
I should listen more. I wish he would be more gentle with me. I should think myself lucky having someone near me with the higher knowledge that a Celestial viewpoint offers! He knows things about what may come about. Before I had my second breakdown, some weeks before, I felt fine, but I heard his voice telling me that I was about to go through one of the greatest trials of my life...
There are many other things he seems to know too, which I don't doubt he may have reason to think, but I don't wish to publish them here.
PS Grr! My dad is still making his presence felt in uncomfortable ways. Being assertive, I would say that he is exceeding his position; he seems to be happy making his will felt forcefully.
In my opinion, he is not always in the right. He can be unfair. This is another thing, not just someone from the afterlife being ornery, but being at fault... However I have realised that he wishes me to find fulfilment, and when he thinks I am veering off path, he can impose himself. This adds up to pressure for me, and interference with my activities and will, which can't be right. (I get the feeling of being blocked, so that if I am doing something creative, for example, my thinking is disrupted and blocked). During these blockages, I have wished to take down his pictures from my home, to put him out of my mind and feelings, because he offended me so much.
The other day I heard him say "No one ever says no to him" (no one out of all the spirits around me every day). This I think is fine. I trust myself and my 'sense of direction'. I don't think he quite appreciates what he is doing. I am writing this partly to shame him into stopping! I have to say, I have felt him hit me; it was some months ago, and I was doing something he opposed. He tried, from spirit, to hit me in the face, and I felt it a little. He was very high strung at the time. But when he 'comes in' like this with his forceful will, it feels wrong to me, and that is part of the reason why I resist it; I get a sense of injustice.
In a dream a few months ago, he was 'with' me. I became aware I was dreaming. He got up, went behind me, and hit me round the back of the head! He did this in the way an angry parent might do to their child.
My piano-playing is a bugbear. I like to play, but he will often resist me playing; once I was very angry and asked him why he was doing it, and he said "I don't want you to become a performer." I think he's out of line. It's my life, my fulfilment, my choice.
In the end, he is acting out of love. But it is not a detached love, and it is not manifesting in ways that love does (ie giving me free rein, supporting my freedom). He wishes me to be fulfilled and happy, but his way, not mine... Still, I love him, and do not wish to be alienated from him.
PPS 31 Jan 2011
Recently I had another falling-out with my passed-on dad. To the effect that I didn't want to think of him. Always, I can love him as a son loves a father at best, but how can I be grateful if he hurts me when I am already feeling vulnerable? I 'rebuked' him for adding to my stress and attempting to take away my freedom. Now I keep telling him to be gentle, - because so much of the condition is about being in pain or under stress, so you don't want anyone 'on your side' adding to it. Hopefully this will lead to a change.
You may gather from my blog that I hear things - I hear voices that I say are from Heaven (or ghosts or other spirits). So when my dad died, I started to hear him too.
This is all good, I love my dad, but... He's around me a lot of the time every day, in a supportive way, which is brilliant... but he also brings discipline, which is often opposed with what I am doing. I feel the force of his will, but often I am vigorously pulling in the other direction. This can be quite traumatic at times. So it's not always the best having a dad in spirit - but it's still my dad, you know? I always end up forgiving him, no matter how angry he makes me.
He's the only person who disciplines me, of all my celestial friends and relations, and he can be critical or obstructive at times when I feel sensitive, too, wishing for gentle treatment.
The funny thing is, there's a general idea that people become 'saints' when they die, changing their nature and becoming very good, - but that's not the case. I guess people move on in what they understand from their way of life from a heavenly perspective, but that might not mean they suddenly change a lot. Your dad is still your dad, and will wish the best for you, and might wish for the best for you so much that he anxiously impresses his will on you to guide you.
I should listen more. I wish he would be more gentle with me. I should think myself lucky having someone near me with the higher knowledge that a Celestial viewpoint offers! He knows things about what may come about. Before I had my second breakdown, some weeks before, I felt fine, but I heard his voice telling me that I was about to go through one of the greatest trials of my life...
There are many other things he seems to know too, which I don't doubt he may have reason to think, but I don't wish to publish them here.
PS Grr! My dad is still making his presence felt in uncomfortable ways. Being assertive, I would say that he is exceeding his position; he seems to be happy making his will felt forcefully.
In my opinion, he is not always in the right. He can be unfair. This is another thing, not just someone from the afterlife being ornery, but being at fault... However I have realised that he wishes me to find fulfilment, and when he thinks I am veering off path, he can impose himself. This adds up to pressure for me, and interference with my activities and will, which can't be right. (I get the feeling of being blocked, so that if I am doing something creative, for example, my thinking is disrupted and blocked). During these blockages, I have wished to take down his pictures from my home, to put him out of my mind and feelings, because he offended me so much.
The other day I heard him say "No one ever says no to him" (no one out of all the spirits around me every day). This I think is fine. I trust myself and my 'sense of direction'. I don't think he quite appreciates what he is doing. I am writing this partly to shame him into stopping! I have to say, I have felt him hit me; it was some months ago, and I was doing something he opposed. He tried, from spirit, to hit me in the face, and I felt it a little. He was very high strung at the time. But when he 'comes in' like this with his forceful will, it feels wrong to me, and that is part of the reason why I resist it; I get a sense of injustice.
In a dream a few months ago, he was 'with' me. I became aware I was dreaming. He got up, went behind me, and hit me round the back of the head! He did this in the way an angry parent might do to their child.
My piano-playing is a bugbear. I like to play, but he will often resist me playing; once I was very angry and asked him why he was doing it, and he said "I don't want you to become a performer." I think he's out of line. It's my life, my fulfilment, my choice.
In the end, he is acting out of love. But it is not a detached love, and it is not manifesting in ways that love does (ie giving me free rein, supporting my freedom). He wishes me to be fulfilled and happy, but his way, not mine... Still, I love him, and do not wish to be alienated from him.
PPS 31 Jan 2011
Recently I had another falling-out with my passed-on dad. To the effect that I didn't want to think of him. Always, I can love him as a son loves a father at best, but how can I be grateful if he hurts me when I am already feeling vulnerable? I 'rebuked' him for adding to my stress and attempting to take away my freedom. Now I keep telling him to be gentle, - because so much of the condition is about being in pain or under stress, so you don't want anyone 'on your side' adding to it. Hopefully this will lead to a change.
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