I am now post the six month mark, still on 350mg a day. Memory problems (that were quite significant) have improved and returned to normal. My disorderly speech has cleared up. - All this is really good.
I just started a new diet for myself, becoming sugar and alcohol free, which released a burst of activity and periods of really feeling uplifted and happy. I don't think this increased activity is due to the medicine working. I am losing weight, due to the diet change. I had risen up in weight quite a lot since starting clozaril, and am now starting to manage that. I don't do any formal exercise (but I walk a mile or two a few times a week). I don't wish to go to the gym until I have lost a lot of weight, to avoid stressing my body. I figured out that I was eating for an eight and a half day week! I had really been overtaken with sugar eating. It has not been too hard to throw off. I have been fairly permissive of fatty foods, and have been tending towards healthy eating. Perhaps I will cut down on high fat foods in the future. So far, I am on day 2 of week 2 of a three week diet. I had read that to make a change to habit requires 21 days of abstinence.
No obvious change to my mind. I am seeing a psychiatrist in two weeks, and I expect her to raise the clozaril. By the way, I have been put on a blood-pressure lowering medicine, as my blood pressure has been high since starting clozaril. Also Hyoscine Hyrdrobromide has not really been helpful with drooling, but I can stay happy by changing my pillow cases and through use of a waterproof pillow protector beneath the cover.
I have had low moods, - in October I mostly only played a computer game! - I played the same challenge over and over again. Doc said this to be expected due to family reunions and hospitalization. It felt like depression though - there were things to do, but I didn't have the strength to do them. I have stopped playing that game now, and I also have not.been very depressed. Actually, the last few days have been low for me - I think maybe my recent burst of activity coinciding with diet change was too much for me. (I have a history of ongoing fatigue from overwork, and if I do too much, I run out of energy.) Anyway, something I thought or did recently has made me feel low - but it is not the worst depression, and I expect it to blow over.
The government have asked me to attend an interview aimed at rehabilitation to work. Stress is a danger (risk of breakdown). Sleep is an obstacle (I can't rely on my ability to wake up at a certain time to do things). There are issues with the medicine, in that it could bring changes to my mind for up to a year after starting it (ie, I'm still in a major change phase, that could be disturbed by stress). I had been thinking about working, myself - to help the country during recession, - and in response to a celestial friend's voice saying that I am "swinging the lead" - an English phrase for avoiding work for a small reason. And let's not forget, mental illness itself can be like a job - but why not test the waters to see if I can do something? Work brings rewards of higher self-esteem, of a larger circle of friends - and more money to ease the way! At present, I think that part time work that feels comfortable would be a lifelong goal and ideal - full time I know to be too much. In the UK, I am allowed to earn a certain amount of money (nearly £100 a week) and to work for a certain length of time (2 days a week). The important thing is that I would enjoy the work and be comfortable with the workload. I don't know what I could do, though. There was a role for a dog-walker near where I live, but the advertisement requested applicants who drive; - perfect job for me (I love dogs), but I don't drive. It would be good to at least try something, and find out what I am capable of.
So that's it! Medicine has made me look at my diet to reverse weight gain, and I have made discoveries of extra happiness with a change of diet. Also next week I take a step towards paid work.. The following week I will see the psychiatrist who will probably raise the dose of clozaril, and it would be a very exciting thing if it helped me. So far, my mind is as it has been for years.
Good luck to you readers out there in Internet land, I wish you great good health.
